[PAPERS TURNING]
I have a complicated relationship
with a "that girl" trend that has subtly
manifested across the internet.
My feeds are saturated with seamless, simple routines that
promise ultimate life balance and aesthetic perfection.
I am easily drawn to romanticized clips
of oatmilk lattes, journaling, fitness sets,
and step-by-step skincare routines.
At my best, I can draw a healthy inspiration
from this type of content, choosing
to reopen my dusty journal, do a yoga with Adrienne video
in the morning, and maybe even take a hot girl
walk when I get home from work.
But at my worst, I engage in should scrolling,
telling myself that I should buy clothes from expensive brands
and that I should make matcha lattes more often.
Consuming so much flawless content
distorts my sense of reality and pits me
against myself in a nasty comparison game.
I won't go as far as to demonize this type of content,
because at the root of the "that girl" trend is a desire to be
the best version of oneself.
The self who gets up early, moves gracefully
through a morning routine, checks off all her boxes
for the day, and remembers to do her skincare at night.
Like, who wouldn't want to be that?
But here's the kicker.
The best version of ourselves is not
something that is externally validated.
There is no one size fits all routine or lifestyle that
is uniformly the best.
Being the best version of ourselves
begins with listening to and expressing our needs,
practicing loving self-talk, and accepting when something just
isn't for you.
I will never, ever love getting up at 5 AM.
I am in no way immune to the dark side
of "that girl" content, so as we continue
to consume the aesthetics and tenets of this lifestyle,
here are some strategies to stay on the healthy end
of this trend.
Number 1, reflect before you scroll.
In short, check your mindset before deep diving
into a self-sabotaging scroll sesh.
Unlocking our phones feels innocuous,
but the content we subject ourselves to
can seriously affect our mood.
A good litmus test is to rate your current sensitivity level
on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least sensitive.
And choose at which number you will steer clear
of social media.
Number 2, consider it research.
Emotional scrolling is no joke, so try
to use your rational brain when engaging with "that girl"
content.
The rational brain sets goals, solves problems,
and healthily manages emotions.
The emotional brain is based on impulse and feelings.
Approach "that girl" content as if you are doing research,
remaining as objective as possible as you
search for practical ways to elevate your lifestyle.
For example, if you want to find creative ways
to drink more water throughout the day,
use your rational brain to learn tips and strategies
for increasing water intake versus harshly comparing
yourself to that girl, an emotional brain response.
Number 3, watch for cognitive traps.
I value the importance of understanding
cognitive distortions.
Everyone has unhelpful thoughts, and you
can gain control over them once you recognize what they are.
Some common examples of cognitive distortions
are polarized thinking.
I am so lazy for not working out this morning.
Should statements.
I should practice self-care every day.
Emotional reasoning, I feel like a failure, so I must be one.
There is no cure to get rid of cognitive traps,
but if these types of thoughts arise
as you watch flawless daily vlogs, try asking yourself,
what would I say to a friend right now?
Number 4, make a feel good list.
A feel good list, also known as an SOS, I mentally
feel like shit about my life list,
is a preventative measure for when
you become hyper focused on the unrealistic elements of being
that girl.
In the depths of my notes app, I have a list
of things that make me happy, like watermelon,
Lord of the Rings, classical music, and the color purple.
These small reminders coax me away from self-criticism.
Number 5, scroll with care.
Unlike the effortless TikTok transitions
from bed to the Peloton to Starbucks,
a realistic lifestyle has a healthy amount of flexibility
to accommodate basic humanness, like getting a crappy night's
sleep and just needing to lounge in bed for an extra half hour.
It's good to remind ourselves that just like all trends,
being "that girl" is usually unsustainable and accompanied
by several forms of privilege, such as being
able to afford the costs that come with being "that girl".
Frankly, I resent "that girl", but at the same time,
I want to be just like her which speaks to our susceptibility
as women to wellness and comparison culture.
And that's not to blame the consumer.
Self-improvement bombards us daily.
Because success and wellness look different for everyone,
it's a waste of time to reach for a refined and ultimately
unrealistic version of self.
If we are to glean any positive messages from the "that girl"
trend, let it be to prioritize ourselves.
Enjoy the process rather than the goal,
and create routines that feel right for us.