- [Interviewer] Hello.
- Hi, I'm Curtis.
You can call me Dirty Curty.
- [Interviewer] What are you doing here today?
- I'm here to share a little secret
that I don't think anyone really knows.
(classical music)
- [Interviewer] Why haven't you shared this
secret with anyone?
- The thought of this getting
to my friend group is horrific.
My biggest fear was that it was gonna get out
without it coming from me.
- [Interviewer] What's the theme?
- Medical maybe.
- [Interviewer] Okay. when you are ready, I'll go ahead
and bring the whole line in.
- Oh, you, you can bring 'em out. I'm not gonna be ready.
So I just do your thing.
(classical music)
- [Interviewer] How you doing Curtis?
- There's a slight level of panic.
One of the girls here I actually grew up with,
she was my next door neighbor.
I can't even look. (group laughs)
- We also went to elementary school
and high school together.
- [Interviewer] So you guys are quite familiar
with each other? - Oh years. Fuck.
(group laughs)
- [Interviewer] Well, this is a fun little twist.
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] Whenever you're ready, go ahead.
(classical music) (group laughs)
- I took my friend to the doctor with me
because I was feeling a little burning in my butthole.
I explained the whole situation to the nurse,
and then she sent the doctor in.
It ended up being a guy I was talking to on Tinder
to check out my butthole.
(Curtis laughs)
He made me pull down my pants and looked into my butthole,
and told me that it looked stingily inflamed.
(Curtis and woman laughs)
And so he went to administer a shot into my butt,
I felt so uncomfortable that I turned around and I said,
"Oh, that felt kind of good."
(woman and Curtis laugh)
And that was kind of the last I saw of him.
And just for the record, though, I'm all clean now.
- [Interviewer] I just want to check in.
Were you able to hear that story?
- Yes. - You're welcome.
(group laughs) - Okay.
I went to the doctor to get my butthole checked
because it burned.
And it was someone that I saw on Tinder.
And he told me to pull my pants down,
and he inspected my butthole.
And I said, "Oh, that feels kind of good."
He's good now and he's healthy.
(group laughs)
- I went to the doctor because my butthole burned.
(classical music) (fast-forwarding squeaks)
- Apparently, my doctor was my ex who I met on Tinder.
- And I was like, "Well, I guess you're going to
have to inspect my butthole."
It felt really good. (man laughing)
Not just that, but it turns out my butthole is fine.
(man laughing)
(group laughs)
- So, one morning, I woke up, and my butthole was hurting.
(classical music) (fast forwarding squeaks)
- They couldn't find what was wrong with my butthole,
but I really liked it and I thought the doctor was cute.
(man laughing) - Oh.
(group laughing) - [Curtis] Girl! The fuck?
- The end bit made it all-- got it, okay.
(group laughing)
Something was really wrong with my butthole,
so I had to go get my butthole checked by a butthole doctor.
I don't know what happened, but the butthole doctor,
like, just made me feel really good.
(women laughing) He was cute, you know.
Okay, yeah.
(group laughing)
- [Interviewer] Pass it down. That's the story you got.
(group laughing)
- I had to got to the butthole doctor,
because I got my butthole jacked up.
But it ended up feeling really good,
because he was cute, you know?
- [Interviewer] Do you feel like something
was lost in translation?
- Yeah! It was real juicy and then it was like meh.
(group laughing)
- I went to the butthole doctor,
because my butthole got messed up.
But it was okay, because he was really cute.
(group murmuring)
- [Curtis] Okay, what'd you hear?
- I heard, "I had to go to the butthole doctor,
(group laughing)
because my butthole was messed up, but it was okay
because he was real cute."
- Here's the issue, because it's not wrong,
but it's not said.
(group laughing)
- [Curtis] It's not what I said, though!
- [Interviewer] Ask for the story.
- What was the full story? Because it seemed a lot longer.
- Okay. I took my best friend in with me
to get my butthole checked out because it felt like
I was shitting out acid. And when the doctor walked in,
I realized it was a guy I was talking to on Tinder.
(group gasping)
So he asked me to bend over and he looked into my butthole,
and he was like, "Yeah, it looks, like, severely inflamed."
So he got a shot, like a needle, to put--
give me a shot in my butt,
and I was so uncomfortable that, like, out of panic,
I turned around, I was like, "Oh, that felt kinda good."
- Did you and the doctor link up, ever?
- I mean, I like, I see him out every weekend,
but after that I think it was probably
a little bit of a turn off for him.
(group laughing)
- Yeah, now that you've shared it,
do you feel better? Lighter? Embarrassed?
- No. (group laughing)
- We all have buttholes.
- Yeah. - That's how I feel about it.
- It's hilarious, but there's also like a stigma still
behind, like, STI testing, oh we need to be all
secretive about it, but it's normal
and it's healthy, and it's actually the way we should
go about our lives, especially--
- --the way we act as people. - For sure.
- So, like thanks for sharing that.
- Well thank you, I appreciate all of you for saying that.
And just for the record, I am all clean, everything's good.
(group applauding) - Thank you!