Guten Morgen, Good morning.
They're the only languages I know good morning... bon... morn? (laughs)
Err, yeah, it's the morning because today, oh, why am I wearing a suit?
I'm wearing a suit because today's subject matter is very close to my heart,
and I figured my clothes should reflect that feeling.
I'm gonna be sharing a very sacred moment with you, which is my breakfast.
In the UK, if you head down the cereal isle with your little trolley,
you're not gonna see that many exciting things.
Honestly, we're a bit weak on the cereal scale.
There's a few 'god tier' stuff, but generally, British people are like,
"Oh it's got berries in it, how wild."
Well in the America- The America, there's stuff like French Toast Crunch,
Sour Patch Kids cereal, Hot Dog Pops, I invented that one. They're a fun experience!
Thankfully I found a UK store that stocks a load of the American cereals,
So today I thought I would review them, share my feelings, have a chat with you
guys, and get generally high off a ridiculous amount of sugar.
I've got this tiny little- calm down, bowl. Shh.
I figured nine bowls of this are (laughs) probably equal to about
three normal cereal bowls, which is my average breakfast portion.
I've got a little glass of milk to season them with.
I put some actual ice cubes in there as well to keep the milk fridge temperature,
because no one wants warm milk. Also, I wanna be fair to the cereal
and give it the best possible (ice clinking) chance.
So first up, we have Little Debbie (laughs) Cosmic Brownies cereal.
I mean, the last time I was offered a Cosmic Brownie,
it was in a park in San Francisco, so I do not think this is the same. Is Little Debbie high?
Maybe- (laughs) don't sue me. Crispy brownie puffs with rainbow chips.
This is why I love America! Making a food that already exists into a cereal.
I'm hyped for this one! Little Debbie, she says gay rights!
♪ Get your brownies out for the lads ♪ (sad honk) Oh, that's disappointing.
(laughs) They do not look like that! Oh, we need some more rainbow in there, guys!
I don't care, just fill it with E numbers. I'll eat them. Maybe they'll glisten more
when they're floating in milk, much like me. That is about to be me right now. (crinkle)
Oh, Debbie, your bag is tight. (breathing) Oh that does not smell good. (laughs)
It kinda smells like a musty basement. (breathes heavily)
It kinda smells like a wet garden, (laughs) or a cleaning product.
Get in my bowl, glug, glug, bitch Yeah, these cosmic sprinkles are underwhelming.
I thought it'd be like gay pride, but it's just like gay Tuesday.
Why am I nervous? It's literally a cereal. Okay, here we go. (crunch)
Hmm, hmm! Generic chocolate-y taste.
They taste a thousand times better than they smell!
I don't know what smell they pumped into there, but the taste is pretty good.
It's kinda got that weak flavor like Wheatos or something, that kinda wants to be
chocolate, but it's not fully there, but it's also kind of addictive,
and I wanna (crunch) nom. They're already going a bit mushy in the milk.
Based on the smell and the taste and the texture, underwhelming gay representation,
I'm gonna give it a five.
Next up, it's Minecraft! Creeper Crunch,
which hopefully be more successful than our attempt at playing Minecraft.
(Dan clicking the mouse, not knowing how to destroy a block) Nothing's happening.
What are you? It is cinnamon flavour cereal with Creeper marshmallows.
I do love me a bit of cinnamon, It gives me kind of warm, toasty, grandma vibes.
Not that I'm cooking the grandma, you know it's just like a hug from a grandma up your nose.
(laughs) Let's get in it. Woo, (Minecraft Chest) those green marshmallows are a satisfying colour.
I thought they might've lied on the box, and they'd be a bit (cereal rattles in bag) crap.
Ooh, it smells like a delicious Christmas candle. Right, let's get in here, lads.
The marshmallows are kinda reminding me of cooked peas, which is making it slightly
slightly less appetizing. Milk them. It's got a good marshmallow-y chonk.
Woo! Very cinnamon-y but good marshmallows. I thought a video game cereal would taste
like crap, but it's pretty nice. The actual Minecraft blocks on their own are a bit
are a bit less good. You definitely need a marshmallow with every bite,
which I don't think you'll get with the ratio in that bag. So that's a downside,
so overall, it's getting a six.
Next up, we got Eggos! I didn't know what the frick an Eggo was until Stranger Things
obviously made them super famous, but it is a maple-flavored home-style
waffle. Cereal Edition. Waffles is one of my favourite things about going to America,
and now, we've got (cereal shake) waffles by the thousands. There's a word search.
Alright, the first word I see represents the rest of my year. Syrup.
Do I wanna know? Do you wanna know? (laughs) I dunno, right! Let's get in the
Eggos! They do look- eh err bleh uh, they look kinda waffle-y! I like it!
I think that's great! In the great waffles vs pancake debate, I'm back on team pancake
I know waffles have ridges, and it kind of absorbs the syrup better,
but I think a pancake is still a better flave. I can already smell the maple syrup
coming out of the bag, so that is an ideal start.
Ooh, that smells good! Jesus Christ! It's like the-
Sniffing that is like a nose-gasm compared to this, eugh, nightmare scent,
this is absolutely- I wish we had smell-o-vision right now.
It's just like pure maple syrup, sugary deliciousness.
All right, let's get a few of you in there. (crowd screaming) Go on lads, glog glog.
A big chunk of ice just fell into the cereal. (laughs) Might improve it. (thud)
Speaking of Stranger Things, when is it back? I feel like it's been so long.
I know COVID ruined everything, but still, I'm just ready for more Eleven. Right, here we go.
Oh my God, they taste like they smell! That's what I was hoping! That is so good!
Holy shisa. (ding) These MF-er's have got it all. They got good crunch, good maple
syrup flavour, satisfying texture, and they look like mini waffles. This is getting a nine.
They've turned one of my favourite breakfast foods into another of my
favourite breakfast foods, and I couldn't be happier! Why don't we have these in the UK?
British people would be like, "Oh Cuthbert, my taste buds are singing."
No, they're just gonna stick with their Weetabix in sad town.
Woo, I'm feeling the sugar now! (laughs) Oh my God! I just need a second to process
all of the things I just put inside myself. That came out wrong.
I recently went up north to film a thing for my YouTube channel, which is gonna be
coming out autumn, winter-ish time. Anyway I got to stay in a hotel for part of that.
And it was one of those days where the shoot call time is 6 am. So I was like,
So I was like, I'm gonna get a good night's sleep.
Gonna go to bed at 12, wake up at 6, that's all right, I'll cope with that.
Finally drifted off to sleep. I was a bit excited and anxious 'cause this is such a
big shoot and everything. I was awoken in the middle of the night to a couple.
They were having, I don't wanna get demonetized, (squeal)
(laughs) in the alley outside my hotel room! In that two seconds,
I pretty much saw everything, and they were in a position where one of 'em was
looking right up at my windows. I was like, (claps) shut the curtains again!
I was ready to call security and be like, "Can you shut these two people up?"
But thankfully, it was a very short-lived event. I mean, each to their own.
Just don't do outside someone's bedroom window, Brenda and Steve.
Kinda put myself off my breakfast telling that story but I'm ready for the next one,
which I should have first! Jesus! It it Dunkin Caramel Macchiato. It's a
coffee-flavoured cereal. We don't have Dunkin Donuts in the UK.
I think I had a couple when we were on tour. Made with coffee concentrate, oh my God!
So I'm actually gonna get my coffee in the form of a breakfast cereal.
It looks very pleasing on the box. Is it gonna match in reality?
Hmm, ooh, actually, the little marsh- mallows are quite swirly and pleasing.
Look at these boys. I wanna get that one right in my mouth. Oh my God, that smells good!
That smells like a- (sniff) That smells- (sniff) I know it's kinda surprised Pikachu,
but that actually smells like a caramel macchiato. I was not expecting.
Immediately, my hopes are high now. Get a bit more of you marshmallow boys into my
bowl. Why do I keep referring to them as boys? Do I need to talk to someone? I dunno, um.
Holy coffee-oly! That is frickin' amazing! What the hell? I opened the door and the
breeze rolled in and I, mm. Right, so firstly, you get hit by a strong coffee flavour.
Then the marshmallows have got a nice caramel-y undertone. So together, it does
taste like a caramel matty, mackey-hotto. Oh my God, that is good! Dunkin', you've done it!
You've Dunkin' done it. It's beat the Eggos. That is getting a 10, guys! (cheering)
We got a 10! I feel like I just saw God, and he was drinking a cup of coffee.
Pokemon, the cereal. I can't believe they murdered so many innocent Pokemon
to make the cereal. The flavour is Berry Bolt, which is not a thing.
Who's your favourite star on the back? Obviously Bulbasaur. Did anyone actually like Snivy? Be honest.
Contains bioengineered food ingredients. Yeah, 'cause they crushed a freakin Pikachu to make it.
I don't think I'm gonna like this. I don't really like berry flavour, or fruit in
cereals generally, but I'll give it a go. (suspense music) I'm not really sure
about the colour combinations. Does that really go? (music)
All right, sniff test! (sniffs) That's so weird, that doesn't smell of anything.
(sniffs) Why doesn't that smell of anything? That's so bizarre!
Okay, if you put your nose right against it, there's a vague, fake berry smell but
really weak. If there is a smell at all. Oh my God. I don't have high hopes for this,
but you might surprise me, Pokemon. Here we go. Either the Dunkin' Donut cereal
completely eradicated all my taste buds, or this just doesn't really taste that strong.
It's got a very, very mild berry taste. It's a fun idea, but if we're comparing video game cereals,
Minecraft wins. I'm gonna give that a four.
Next up, we've got the cereal with the longest name ever.
It is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Chocolate Churros!
I love this idea. It's another food turned into a cereal, and we got a little mascot!
I feel like we've been lacking in the mascots with these cereals.
Didn't something happen with Tony the Tiger and furries? Like furries adopted him
and was drawing Tony the Tiger in fan art? And then Tony was like, "No, I'm not into
that." Then was it the Cheetos Cheetah that was like,"I'm totally a furry, bring it on."
Or was this all a weird dream I had, I dunno. Something quite haunting about that image.
I can already see a satisfying amount of cinnamon sugar on the outside of these.
(milk glug) I feel like toys in cereal was such an essential part of childhood
the kids now are missing out on, which is sad. Remember that joy of
getting those little stickers or whatever in your cereal? I guess it was a massive
waste of plastic and killing the planet, but you know, that is pretty great.
I'm not gonna lie. We got chocolate. We got cinnamon. You got a good crunch to it.
There's a bit of chemically aftertaste, actually, which I haven't had with most
of the other cereals. (gasp) So that's a disappointment. I was hoping this was gonna
be like an eight or a nine. I think I'd rather just eat the dessert than this.
So that's gonna get a seven.
I'm actually feeling my oats in this suit today. You might have noticed I've not
posted many Instagram grid posts during the pandemic, basically. It's been weird!
Whenever I've taken a picture, I've just looked at it and said,
I don't like what I look like in that. Don't like that.
And it's just one of those things where you gotta take a step back and be like,
I'm being overly critical of my appearance when nobody really cares!
I'm not saying I'm gonna post more on Instagram, I'm just gonna try and be a bit
less harsh on myself, but actually putting this suit on, I looked in the mirror, I
was like, actually, you're quite a handsome young chap!
'cause I've just been schlepping around the house in sweatpants and old t-shirts.
So I think it might help my self-esteem if I just put some nice clothes on every now
and again, even if I'm just doing a Zoom. Alright, the final cereal! (laughs)
I can't believe this exists, is Crayola Cereal?!
What, what is happening?! I feel like I've just stepped into another universe and
they're like, Yeah, time to eat your crayons, kids.
Wonder if they taste of crayons? What even are these?!
They are (laughs) jazzberry flavoured. Is that a real thing?
Okay, I just checked jazzberry, and the only thing that appeared was this cereal.
So I think they made it up. This is like a Mad Libs. Is it gonna taste of crayons?
Did you ever eat crayons as a kid? I ate a few and- (laughs)
er, maybe it will have a similar delicacy. Don't disappoint with the colours, guys.
Wow, all right, that's impressive! This one is the most pleasing to the eyes out of
all the cereals that I've had. What does a jazzberry smell like? Let's find out.
Ooh! See, that's what I was expecting from the Pokemon! That is a- woo-hoo! that is a
very strong, fake, fruity smell? Let's try get one of every colour.
I'm on my 9th bowl of cereal and I'm still enjoying myself.
I thought I'd be like, oof, can't take any more,
but I'm kind of like, mm, time for another. Ooh!
No, mm, mm-mm. Bleurgh. That was just what expected, like the most fake, chemically fruity-
What fruit is that?! That is definitely a jazzberry 'cause that tastes fricking weird.
It's like a bit raspberry, then maybe a bit banana-y, then maybe a bit of citrus,
but very chemically, and so strong, it's like I've been slapped in the face by
an air freshener. If you like tropical, fruity-flavoured cereals, I think you'd
like this, but I'm definitely more on the chocolatey, cinnamon spectrum.
My review is a three out of 10. Honestly, I would rather eat crayons.
But (laughs) if you're into the fruitiness, I think you might give it a
six or a seven.
Oh my God, I had the golden pig out for this video
'cause Dan took it away and now he's gone and hid it again!
And I just noticed in the-! Oh, where's the?
Yes, this is what I'm wearing underneath the suit. (laughs)
I didn't think I'd be standing up! Look at that in the cupboard of shame.
Come back, my child. How did I not notice that was missing
for most of the video? Okay, as I am a true scientist, there's only one thing
left to do, combine them all... I'm gonna do a Safiya Nygaard,
I'm gonna put a little bit of each cereal into the bowl and try and describe the flavour.
Got my perfect spoon of everything.
Bottoms up, lads, um. Oh my God. What is happening to my mouth?!
Oh, oh, that does not work! The coffee of the Dunkin' Donuts is mixing with the fruit.
Know if you have an apple after having a coffee it's just created that disgusting flavour?
That is not a mix that you wanna make. So I'm getting an aftertaste of maple syrup though.
That's nice. Thank you, ghost of the Eggo flavouring.
That gets a minus three out of 10.
Well, that is more sugar than I've ever had in my life.
I feel slightly dizzy, a little bit ill, but I'm glad I shared my breakfast with you.
So I might go eat a banana or something, so my body doesn't completely shut down.
Thanks for watching! If you enjoyed this weird cereal review, give me a thumbs up,
I can do it again! There's loads of weird cereals out there!
Make sure to check out my last video, where you guys roasted my outfits.
I'm surprised I'm wearing formal wear after the Teen Awards incident.
Also, subscribe if you're new, you wanna see more of this face.
I mean, I don't blame you if you don't, (laughs) and I hope you having a good day.
Enjoy whatever you have next for breakfast.
Hopefully, it's less cursed than what I just put in my mouth.
and I'll see you very soon, goodbye.