• From marrying the trapped spirit of your dead wife to tying the knot with a photo of
yourself we look at 10 people who married inanimate objects.
10 – A Barbie Doll, • Well guys this is what happens when you
end up playing with your toys just a little bit too much.
• 46 year old Taiwanese man, Chang Hsi-hsum married the 11 inch piece of fantastic plastic
after his first flesh and blood wife committed suicide.
But Chang has a very good reason for playing Ken, he believes that his wife’s spirit
is trapped inside the doll.
• And it gets even weirder, Chang is already remarried after his first wife died.
The marriage to Barbie was done with his current wife’s blessing.
Talk about a bizarre love triangle.
At least his human wife doesn’t have to worry about him cheating considering what’s
under Barbie’s dress.
9 – A Clay Pot, • When you’ve been stood up at the altar,
you sometimes just have to make the best of a bad situation.
• Indian woman Salvita was left hanging at the altar when her husband who worked with
the Tibetan border police ended up stranded at work.
Not wanting a ceremony to go to waste the Bride’s family came up with a great idea,
slap a photo of the groom onto a clay pot.
Problem Solved.
• Sativa married the pot proxy in what must have been an awkward ceremony.
Ah well at least they didn’t let all that food go to waste.
Sometimes it’s just worth ruining your daughter’s special day.
8 – The Eiffel Tower, • Well if you are going to fall in love
with a structure, best to be one in the universal city of love.
• Erika Eiffel held a commitment ceremony with the iconic tower after falling in love
with its subtle curves.
Erika had a long history of falling in love with objects including dating a bridge in
her teen years and then joining the air force to get to know a gorgeous F-15 fighter jet.
• Interestingly enough Erika believes that her wife (the tower is err female) is reciprocating
the love she is giving it.
How?
No clue but I’m hoping it doesn’t involve any monumental humping.
7 – A Steam Engine, • Here’s a relationship that seems to
be on the right track, let’s just hope it doesn’t run out of steam.
• Now that we have the train puns out of the way, Joachim A of Hammond, Oregon fell
in love inanimate objects from a very young age.
Being attracted to the inner workings of machines it’s no surprise his heart would be stolen
by a steam locomotive.
• Joachim has unfortunately had several affairs with other objects in the past though,
his repairman job has occasionally caused him to fall for broken radiators.
Let’s hope Joachim doesn’t do anything to derail their love, amirite?
6 – A Stereo System, • Who doesn’t love a sleek and sexy HiFi
system with a killer bass setup?
• Still probably shouldn’t start trying to get busy with it, probably voids the warrantee.
But that’s of no concern to British woman Emma who makes love to her system at least
twice a day.
The stereo whose name is “Jake”, gets regular services from Emma of both the mechanical
and sexual kind.
• Emma says that the relationship has made her a bit of a loner, fearing that people
will reject her strange love.
Which is a shame because I’m sure Jake could lay down some sick beats at a party.
5 – A Rollercoaster, • Here’s a relationship that should have
its fair share of ups and downs.
• Pennsylvanian church organist Amy Wolfe Weber fell in love with the wild ride at the
young age of 13.
After going for her fist ride, Amy instantly knew she was “sexually and mentally” attracted
to the fairground spectacle.
Amy had ridden the coaster at least 3000 times before deciding to tie the knot.
• As a sign of devotion, Amy took the name of the manufacturer Weber and she carries
around nuts and bolts that have fallen from the ride.
Hmm maybe she should organise a check-up for her husband.
4 – A Pillow, • Sometimes it’s hard to find someone
you want to share a bed with when you already share it with a full size body pillow.
• 28 year old Korean Lee Gyu-jin said ‘I do’ to the body pillow that had a picture
of Fate Testarossa from the anime Nanoha printed on it.
Now we assume that he was marrying the pillow its self and not the character buuuut that
doesn’t really make much of a difference.
• Guys like this and the guy who married his 3DS waifu are the people that give anime
fans a bad name….well mostly them.
3 – A 3DS Game Character, • Speaking of the guy who married his 3DS
waifu, we come to the strange case of Sal9000.
• This Japanese man who goes by the moniker Sal9000 married the character of Nene Anegasaki
from the game ‘Love Plus’.
Well technically he married the 3DS that Nene lives in.
Having the handheld on… er… hand during the wedding to talk to guests.
• I wonder if Sal9000 would be jealous if someone else married the character.
Then again they could always double date considering they all have the same taste in video games.
2 – A Foam Cut-out of Himself, • Well this one takes narcissism to new
an unexpected heights…or lows….either way.
• Chinese man Liu Ye married the life size foam cut out of himself because he was dissatisfied
with reality.
The wedding was carried out with full tradition customs, with the cut out wearing a red wedding
gown and toasting the family’s ancestors.
Spectators reported that it was a grand wedding, only drawback being that the wife was a photo...
of the groom.
• Ye has since fended off accusations that he was homosexual but did concede that the
event was slightly narcissistic which is putting it lightly.
1 – The Berlin Wall, • There had to be someone who was devastated
with the fall of the Berlin Wall other than Stalin’s ghost.
• Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer had been married to the wall since 1979 after a lifelong obsession
with the structure.
After being diagnosed with Objetum-Sexuality, Eija-Riita decided it was finally time to
settle down with the iron curtain.
• Distraught over the destruction of her husband in 1989, she has not been back to
see the remaining parts of the wall, instead building models as a testament to his former
glory.
I’d be distraught too if my partner died with David Hasselhoff singing on top of their
corpse.