Regional accent discrimination
is still at a record high
I mean only last week...
five different people assumed
I were a gardener...
Now turns out I am a gardener
but that's by the by
Aye! It's an absolute disgrace!
I'm sick and tired of this discrimination
And so you should be Fred
Everybody keeps thinking I'm aggressive!
I'm nae aggressive!
I'm an aromatherapist!
I need representation
That's right you do Fred
and that's why we've setup,
the organisation
for overlooked accent regions
or OOAR
So what I've done is, as president of OOAR,
I've got us a public relations expert,
and he's going to show us what to do like..
So will you please give a warm welcome
For a man who talks silky smoothlike
It is..
Mr. Edward!
Hullo there, my name is Edward...
and I am a PR expert.
and it is my job here today, to
change the public perception
of regional based accents
Tha People of Northern Ireland,
will not sit here
and listen to a mon!
with no accent whatsoever!
tellin us how to live our lives!
Well if the people of Northern Ireland could let me finish
I apologise!
Unreservedly!
So what we've done is, we went out into the streets
and we asked the public in a survery
what they thought about specific accents
within the UK and Ireland
WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT CORK?!
Well I don't...
TELL ME NOW WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT CORK IN IRELAND
I WANNA KNOW!
I CAN TAKE IT!
No, please sit down..
GIVE IT TO ME NOW BOI!
GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
Fine! Fine!
Some of the words that were coming back about
the Cork accent were for instance
"Whiney"
Aahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
And the other one of course was aggressive
THA FUCKIN LANGERS!!
What I'm proposing is that we change those attitudes
We make regional accents sexy again...
and I think the way in is through Television
I mean just look at what Peaky Blinders
has done for the Birmingham accent
The Buuurmingham accent was recently voted
the number one sexiest accent
in the latest edition of UK accent magazine...
In the last year,
I've had sex
If television has done that for a place like Birmingham
Just imagine what it could do for somewhere
like Sheffield
Ay-up!
I'd buy that for a shilling on a frosty morning
Somewhere like Manchester would really benefit
Ahhh that's a dead good idea
ay cock ay!
aahhhhhhhh
ahhhhhhhh
Imagine what television could do for somewhere like Galway
Ah fair play to ye, fair play, that's a class idea
uhhhhhh
huhhhhh
huh.
Imagine what television could do for somewhere like Cornwall
I tell ye!
The people o' Cornwall
are tired o everybody assumin
That we sound like pirates
Arrrrrrrrr
Imagine what television could do for somewhere like Kerry
In the south of Ireland
Atttattaaaatataaareeeeeee
that's a great idea there
Ohhh ahahahahiaofifeheapeauish
ottoaotasoasotaoat!!!
rraaarrararharharartttt!
ehhhhhhhhh
*motorbike sounds
*skidding.
*beyond making sense
*nonsense at this point
*applause for some reason
Uncanny
I'm proposing that we produce a drama series
for the BBC and RTE
where all of the actors would have regional accents
Well maybe I could be the Butler then?
Well if you play the butler, who the hell am I going to play!
Thank you both of you..
but we're going to be casting professional actors
Mate! Mate!
I did a birra acting as a young lad in Liverpool!
I'm sure your very good but we don't have time
I'm dead good mate!
Listen... lookh lookh...
Mister Frodo, Mister Frodo...
I don't wanta go te Mordorrr!
Please thank you
I'm a former memborr of the Belfast amateur dramatic society...
To be or not to be!
That is the pertinent question minister!
Thank you very good stage presence
My name is James Bond..
Arrrrrrrr
Okay, that is all we have time for
Ay-up!
Yipee ki yay
Muthafucka
Okay, thank you everyone, if you could please
just put a cork in it
Did somebody mention CORK?!
NOOOOOO!!!!
I FUCKIN HEARD CORK THERE NOW!
Stay quiet, I've got a lot of work to get through
Who put you in charge ye daft bugga!
You
You put me in charge all of you
I completely reject your authority!
No surprises there!
Tell us where your from pal?
It's irrelevant where I'm from
NEVER TRUST A MON YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S FROMMMMMM
Where are you from??
I'm from a small place in hell..
If you must know, I'm originally from Dublin
But after years of extensive vocal training
at the royal academy of dramatic arts in London
I've managed to hide that embarrassing fact
You buddy...
You've gone and turned your back on your own peeepel
Nonsense I have not, how dare you
Ye have too!
That's popcocky, I have not!
Ye have to man
What are ye talkin about, yer a muppet!
You are the muppet sir!
Yer the muppet
I put it to you that you're the muppet
Yer the bleedin muppet
You are the bleeding muppet
Yer the!
How dare!
Here you ya fucker I'm gonna come down there an box the bleedin head of ye ye gee bag
Fuuuuukin come oooooooooonnnnnnn
Ah look what yer after doin to me!
Yer after ruinin years of vocal trainin!