in this video you will learn five signs that a man is bread crumbing you or
leading you on just to keep you interested and I'm also
going to tell you exactly how to handle this manipulative dating tactic so you
can turn things around or walk away with your head up don't go anywhere because
we're starting right now hi everyone I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a
psychologist and a relationship coach this channel is all about helping you
build great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love
so if you're interested in making your love life the best part of your life
start now by clicking the subscribe button and hit the bell notification so
you aren't missing anything okay on to the signs of bread crumbing and what to
do about it so bread crumbing is a newer term for a
dating tactic that has become more popular recently because of texting and
social media. and basically bread crumbing is when someone is sporadically
sending you flirtatious text messages or DM'S or liking your social media posts
just frequently enough so you don't lose interest and just enough to keep you
wondering if they are still interested and when you do respond and show him
attention he disappears again. does this sound familiar? if so you know how
frustrating it is to deal with especially when you really like someone
but don't worry you're about to learn the six most common signs of bread
crumbing as well as the best ways to handle each
one so without further ado here's the first sign number one the relationship
is not moving forward not moving the relationship or friendship forward is
the hallmark of bread crumbing that means that regardless of your current
standing with him he is reluctant to move forward with you so if this is
someone that you know on social media he's not asking to see you in real life
or if this is someone that you've been texting he isn't making concrete plans
to get together with you or if this is someone you went on a date with he isn't
making plans to go on the next date so his reluctance to move forward leaves
you wondering what does this guy want from me if he's not interested why does
he keep texting me and if he is interested why isn't he asking me out
this is a common one and I'm going to tell you
exactly how to handle it number two his communications are
sporadic another sign of bread crumbing is when a guy texts you every once in a
while but not consistently so he might text you tonight and make some
conversation with you and lead you to believe that he wants to see you this
primarily happens when he wants to check in to see if you will respond and if
you're still interested and when he finds out that you are his ego is
fulfilled and you don't hear from him again for two weeks and then he texts
again it's like an annoying cycle that goes around and around number three he
micro communicates micro communicating is the digital equivalents of nodding in
saying hello to a person as you pass them on a busy street or in the hallway
it's like you are acknowledging their presence but not caring enough to really
communicate and catch up with them so it's the digital equivalent of a nod it
takes the smallest amount of effort for example he is completely missing and not
in communication or texting you then he suddenly in touch again after you post a
hot picture of yourself on Instagram and he sees that other guys are liking it
then he slides into your DMS or text you because he needs an ego boost and he
wants to see if you're still there oh and here's another example he sends you
random videos or selfies but he never says your name in the video because he
probably set the same picture or videos to several people it's so lame number
four his messages are vague and meaningless his texts and communications
always seem to have a vague message to them but you never really know what they
mean for example he will say that he misses you and that you should hang out
soon but never make concrete plans or his messages are meaningless usually
saying things like what are you up to or what's up the messages lacks substance
and are just there to pull you back in when he feels like you're drifting away
so he keeps the conversations on a surface level never going beyond the
typical flirty type conversations so he's never asking you questions that are
meant to help him get to know you on a more personal level oh and it's always
through text social media he's not picking up the
phone to call you and really connect number five he makes plans but is always
canceling on you these are the worst bread crumb errs these are the people
who will actually go so far as to schedule a date or a time to meet and
then at the very last minute something comes up and his reason seemed
legitimate like having to travel again for work and you really can't argue with
them the truth is if they've canceled on you more than once there's something
else going on number six he always comes around just as you begin to lose
interest or move on just when you've decided to forget about him and move on
he reaches out to you again and this probably happens because he's watching
your social media and maybe he gets a hint that you've moved on or he sees
that you've been going out or perhaps you posted a photo with a male friend
whatever the case he senses a change and then he's back at it again trying to
compliment you and to flirt with you and make no mistake about it this is done on
purpose he wants to keep you interested because it tends to boost his ego and
give him the option of being with you if nothing else pans out okay so now you
know he's been bread crumbing you how do you best handle it well keep watching
because you're going to learn exactly how to deal with his bread crumbing and
that starts with understanding his motivation for doing this oh and by the
way leave a comment if you know any bread crumbing signs that I may have
missed ok so in order to best deal with his bread crumbing you have to
understand why he's doing it see modern technology like texting and social media
have made bread crumbing in leading someone on very easy to do but why well
it's because it only takes a second for someone to send a text or to like your
post or to watch your story and because it's not happening face-to-face it's
very impersonal and they can hide behind their devices they don't have to see you
or talk to you to do it think about it before social media and texting the only
way you could lead someone on was if you had reason to see them frequently like
if you worked with the person or went to school with them or live near them then
perhaps you could lead them on but now all you need is a smartphone and a
social media account and so this has become very common but
what is he getting out of this why is he doing this well quite simply he needs
the attention people who engage in bread crumbing are doing so because their
self-esteem is impacted by how much attention they can get from others they
have this emptiness inside and they don't feel comfortable or confident
unless they get constant reassurance from others so the more attention they
get from potential partners the better they feel now most men are not thinking
oh my self-esteem is down I need a boost so let me reach out to these four women
no I don't think that they're doing that I just don't think that they realize or
understand what they're doing or maybe they don't know how interested you are
now on the other hand if a guy knows that you are interested in that you want
a relationship with him and then he breadcrumbs you that's when it becomes
manipulative no one should play with other people's emotions to get
validation in other words if you know that someone likes you and wants a
relationship with you but you're not interested you're not going to
purposefully give them bread crumbs and leave them on anyone that does that is
obviously not worried about hurting other people and that is important to
remember when deciding on how to handle it so what do you do first if you don't
think that they're being manipulative but instead they're just not that great
at communicating you can respond to their bread crumbing by trying to make
direct plans so when they text you with something like hey or hey how are you
you can respond directly by saying I'm great and then Edie I don't have plans
for Friday evening would you like to get together now if he says that he can't he
should offer you a better alternative or a better time if they don't commit to
another time such as I can't on Friday but I can on Saturday then you have to
decide if you want to wait for more crumbs or if you should simply end it
down in there when you put them on the spot they're either going to make plans
or they're telling you that they're not really interested on the other hand if
he knows how you feel and what you want yet he tries to breadcrumb you then it's
probably best to confront him directly let me give you an example and then I'll
tell you exactly what to say so let's say that you've been kind of dating
someone perhaps you've been on several dates and he
knows you are interested in trying to start a relationship or something
serious but this guy starts to go cold on you
he isn't texting or calling like he used to M he's taking days and days to
respond to you well then you know that he's stringing you along and this is
exactly what you say the next time he texts you and says hello or how are you
you respond to him by saying this is getting boring or this is getting old
and that's it yes that's it now I know that sounds
harsh and every time I tell someone to do that they look at me like I'm crazy
but think about it you're telling him that he's boring you and what do you
think that does to him you're not angry or mad or pouting you're telling him
that he's boring you and no one wants to be boring then of course he's going to
be responding with a question mark or he's going to follow up on that one and
act all confused and that's when you need to be direct and tell him that you
don't think that you're on the same page you are letting him know that you know
what's going on and you're not accepting any more that you're interested in a
serious relationship and this one is not meeting your standards so then he either
finds a way to change and prove it to you
or he leaves you alone what about the guy who is always canceling on you last
minute the truth I don't care how busy a man is if he's interested he will find
the time or he will make the time for you and if he doesn't then a
relationship or dating you might not be a high priority for him so what do you
do well this is a situation that needs to be confronted directly not bringing
it up or addressing it directly will only lead to it happening again and
probably end up with you getting ghosted so when a guy has canceled on you or
flaked out on you being directing upfront is a sign of confidence and
maturity and if he can't handle it then he probably isn't someone that you could
get serious with anyway so when he texts you that he can't make
it for the second time or that he needs a rain check you could say something
like this that's too bad I was looking forward to seeing where this went
perhaps were not on the same page I need a man who wants a more serious and
relationship and leave it at that when you do that you send him a clear message
I don't have time or energy for someone who isn't all-in and giving a hundred
percent look I know bread crumbing situations
are not easy to deal with and when you really like someone you want to give
them every chance possible to show you that they want you so it's easy to
rationalize his behavior and hope that giving him one more chance will change
things unfortunately they probably won't the
good news if you confront him about it and he really doesn't want to lose you
he's going to find a way to prove it to you
and if he doesn't well that simply means that you can move on to the relationship
that you deserve and speaking of getting the relationship you deserve check out
this video that tells you the things a man will do only when he is truly in
love or click here to see the video that YouTube thinks that you like I'll see
you in the next video