These days parents have to decide on a myriad of controversial issues regarding their kids,
including what type of parenting style to adopt, how to feed your baby, and whether
or not to post your kids' faces online.
And don't think for one second there won't be someone who will say you should be doing
otherwise.
Here are some of the most hotly debated topics.
Attachment parenting
It all started with that Time article from May 2012, detailing the controversy surrounding
attachment parenting.
Attachment parenting focuses intensely on a child's needs, with techniques such as feeding
on-demand and co-sleeping.
"Oh, oh, like when they have bad dreams and stuff?"
"No like, all the time, every night."
"What?
Why would you do that?"
Critics of attachment parenting worry that it keeps children from becoming independent,
because they appear to always be "attached" to their parents.
Clinical Director of Darien Wellness, David Ezell, says,
"Letting go is the primary objective of parenting and not doing so makes the parent-child relationship
about you as opposed to them…
We teach children to walk, and then to walk away; the latter is much harder to do."
Your kid's BFF
Everyone wants to be the parent our child can come to with anything.
But Ezell says kids depend on parents for limits — and while they may have lots of
friends, you and your partner are likely the only parents they'll ever have.
Ezell shares,
"Although it does not always feel good to enforce rules or solve your child's problem,
in the long run it's best for everyone in the family."
Harassment
Today more than ever, parents need to think about how to address the topic of sexual harassment
with their children.
Emotional resilience expert, Julia Simens, knows that when it comes to talking about
sexual harassment, early education means kids are more likely to talk about it later.
She says,
"It seems all elementary children know about bullying, so why not expand that concept to
include sexual harassment as words to use to define this type of bullying."
Simens also recommends not limiting this to just "stranger danger" and, instead, broadening
the circle to include relatives, and same-age children — both boys and girls.
Screen time
It's never too early to start teaching your children about safely using technology.
Decide early on how much screen time you're willing to allow and how to keep it safe.
"How long ago do you think this was used?"
"Oh, one hundred."
"A hundred years ago?"
"Yeah, doesn't even have no FaceTime."
Media and Developmental Psychologist, Dr. Rob Reiher, recommends being very clear with
your children about what is and isn't okay online.
He says,
"Children between the ages of 3 to 7 need definitive black and white descriptions of
safe technology that is good for them and unsafe technology that is bad for them."
"Now that I've gotten on the internet, I'd rather be on my computer than doing just about
anything."
"It's really cool."
He says kids 8-12 will be more interested in pursuing technology, like their friends,
so take the time to help them decide for themselves what's good, and what's bad.
Bottle vs breast
Choosing breast milk or formula has long been a controversial issue for parents.
But, in a recent study in Pediatrics, researchers found breastfed children don't necessarily
have an edge over bottle-fed babes.
Turns out, a 5-year-old's problem-solving skills might have more to do with his mom's
education level, than her milk.
Study author Lisa-Christine Girard told U.S. News & World Report,
"The belief that babies who are breast-fed have advantages in their cognitive development...has
been a topic of debate for over a century now."
So when it comes to feeding your baby, work with your pediatrician to find the best fit
for your family.
Girls in Boy Scouts
Gender-specific scouting clubs totally transformed in 2017 when the Boy Scouts of America announced
that girls were welcome to join and ascend the ranks to become Eagle Scouts.
Chief Scout Executive Michael Surbaugh announced that the Boy Scouts would no longer qualify
gender based solely on birth certificates, saying,
"I hope you will join with me in embracing the opportunity to bring scouting to more
families and children who can benefit from what our program has to offer."
But some believe the Boy Scouts are stepping on the Girl Scouts' toes.
Susan Miller, Assistant Professor of Childhood Studies at Rutgers, told The Atlantic,
"I find it interesting that now it seems to be cast as a progressive move on the part
of the Boy Scouts…"
"It's hard for me to believe it's a philosophical change.
It's kind of an attempt at a hostile takeover."
Core standards
One phrase sends chills down the backs of parents of school age children: "common core"
— the standardization for math and English, or, what kids should know by the time they
finish each grade.
Many schools have adopted these standards — and educators' opinions are mixed.
The main concern is that these standards encourage testing young children very early.
Maybe too early.
Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, author of The Over-Scheduled Child, told Forbes that kids' skill levels
vary greatly and may not reflect their later successes.
He says,
"Some kids who were reading Harry Potter at 4 end up as career baristas.
Others can't read till they're much older, and they turn out to be highly successful
as adults."
Before choosing a school, research their teaching philosophy.
So that your child will be learning the best they can, and you'll both be feeling great
about it.
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