-♪ Hashtags ♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
-Now, I thought I'd share some of my favorite
#BestPrankEver tweets from you guys.
The first one's from @BaseballJedi.
She said...
[ Laughter and applause ] -Wow.
-[ New York accent ] We're missing the third one.
Number 3's somewhere around here.
[ Laughter ]
Don't worry about it, alright? Have some...
-Little bacon must've fell off a truck.
-Never saw no pig, alright? You know what I'm saying?
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @mc-arthur123. She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Always a good one.
-This one's from @Gimsolittle. She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
This one's from @davidbastable.
He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's not really a prank. It's not really a prank,
-That's more like you need help. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-"Hey, man, guess what I'm doing."
-I think I saw this on "Dateline," yeah, like.
"Then, he got a fork."
-"It was a human head."
[ Laughter ] -"It was a human head."
[ Laughter ]
This one is from @mojibou. -Aww.
-Hi, mojibou. -Love mojibou.
[ Laughter ]
-She says...
There you go.
[ Laughter and applause ]
That's a good one, man.
That's one I could totally do, yeah. That's a good one.
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @Sweet-Shoop.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Come on, that's good. -I think that's cute.
-Yeah. I like that. -Nobody gets hurt.
-I know.
This one's from @KasiaEmerald. She says...
[ Laughter and applause ] That's cute.
-She's the one who put the fork in all the stuff.
[ Laughter ] -No, no, no.
This one's from @baconluv87.
[ Laughter ] -Whoo!
-They're one of the three-pig ones. -I love bacon, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah. "There were at least 87 pigs in high school."
[ Laughter ]
-And this person ate -- -baconluv87.
He says...
[ Laughter ] -Wow.
-That's cruel! That's cruel!
-A piece of cloth?
-Piece of cloth.
[ Laughter ]
He had pillowcases on them.
I don't know. -Gingham?
-I don't know. -Corduroy?
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @Oilsearcher2.
He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-That's a good one. -Yeah.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Bernie's driving the car! Hey, Bernie!
Anh-anh!
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @dldnh.
He says...
[ Laughter and applause ] Like, "Very popular today,
ooh!" -Get a little message.
[ Laughter ] -"Oh, hello."
[ Laughter ] -"Hello."
-[ Posh accent] Oh, hello. This must be
a very important call. -[ Posh accent ] You don't say.
[ Laughter ]
-Hello. -Yes.
-You don't say.
[ Laughter ]
You don't say. -Oh, my gosh.
-You don't say. -Oh, my.
[ Laughter ] Who was it?
-He didn't say.
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's an old one, but I had to do it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Oldie, but a goldie. -An oldie, but a goody.
-Sitting right there. -Yeah, I know. This last one's
from @5-SecondsOfAmy. She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ] That's one to do right there.
There you have it. Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.
To check out more of our favorites, go to...
-♪ Hashtags ♪
♪♪
[ Applause ] Now, I thought I'd share some
of my favorite #IOnceOverheard tweets from you guys.
Here we go. This first tweet is from@rosenswaaag.
-Ooh. [ Laughter ]
rosenswaaag. -He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-[ Both imitating PA feedback whining ]
[ Baritone ] Sorry.
If anybody needs me, I'll be
passed out in the teacher's lounge.
[ Laughter ]
Ooh, ooh!
[ Laughter ]
I'm not wearing any pants.
[ Laughter ]
Not that you can see, at least.
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @ReggieGames.
He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
That sounds like a bad day.
-That's not a good day. -Not a good day.
-No matter where that goes. -We got a lot of
overheard in the bathroom stuff. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -That's pretty --
[ Laughter ] -Both: "Please, not now."
[ Laughter ] -[ Clap ]
[ Laughing ] What?
[ Laughter ]
-This one's from @KarlaCavaleri.
She says...
[ Laughter, applause, and awws ]
-That's cute. -That's really cute.
Four years old. -His name's not Jeremiah.
-He is not, no.
[ Laughter ]
-"Please, not now."
[ Laughter ]
-This one's from @basedlindz-- lizzy. basedlizzy?
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-"Marco!"
-"Polo!"
-"Stop it!"
"Marco!" -"Polo!"
-"Stop it!"
"Marco!" -All: "Polo!"
-"I can't find him anywhere!"
[ Laughter ]
That's fantastic, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one's from @SJenn23231.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ] [ Rimshot ]
-Boom!
[ Applause ]
-[ Southern accent ] "Fittin' this pizza in my mouth!"
-"I practice fitness." -"Please, not now."
[ Laughter ]
-"Oh, lactose intolerant!"
[ Laughter ] -[ Clap ]
-"Oh, please, not now."
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, "please, now." I'd rather now
than somewhere else. -Now's the best possible time
-This is the best possible time -it could happen.
-for anything to go -- -You're alone,
four metal walls. -You're in four walls,
no one's seeing you, yeah.
-A shoe that goes somewhere else.
[ Laughter ]
That's the best possible place for anything to happen.
-I know. -No. "Please, not now."
-This is @ehammond97.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Southern accent ] Well, he's giving the paw with his right hand.
If he shakes with his right hand, must be a righty.
-[ Southern accent ] I don't know.
They might be ambidextrous, but I don't think
they have hands, to begin with, but, you know.
-Well, if he scratches himself
-Right. -with his left leg...
-Sure. Okay, wait, let me --
Left leg scratching, yeah.
-Does that mean he's left-handed?
-Well, you know what? Maybe you're right.
-Which one does he wear his watch on?
-He wears his watch on his right hand.
[ Laughter ] [ Band playing country tune ]
This one's from @jeff-hofmann. -Jeff.
-He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Should I can an ambulance? I don't know what that means."
-What is...? -Number 3?
-[ Laughs ] -"Please, not now."
-"Not now."
[ Laughter ]
-"Please, not know." That one, yeah.
"Please, not know. I don't know what that means."
This last one's from @MisterMidas.
He says...
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
There you have it. Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.
To check out more of our favorites, go to...
-♪ Hashtags ♪
♪♪
-Now, I thought I'd share some of my favorite
#WeddingFail responses from you guys.
Gosh, there are so many to choose from.
Oh, this is good. This is from @ashjoy8.
He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Baritone ] Let it go, Carol.
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @JoplinCityMgr.
He says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Oh, my God!" -[ Cawing ]
[ Applause ] [ Continues cawing ]
-Bkkh!
-Pbbt!
[ Laughter ] [ Imitates fart ]
[ Laughter ]
-This one is from @trisbmockingjay.
She says..
[ Laughter and applause ] -[ Baritone ] Get him outta here.
[ Applause ]
[ Slurred ] "Tie fight!"
Get him outta here.
[ Laughter ]
Someone say, "Real fight!"
This one's from @jcbyng.
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, this is cute. He says...
[ Awws, laughter, and applause ]
-That's a win! -[ Baritone ] No!
-What? -That's not what he's supposed to do at my wedding.
Get him out! -Out!
-Get him out with the tie fight. -You'll never work
in this town again. -Put him out in the cold
with the tie fight man. [ Laughter ]
"Bear!"
-Tie!
[ Laughter ]
-"Bear fight!" -Both: "Tie fight!"
♪♪
Mai Tai. ["My tie"]
-This one's from @604Cor.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-[ Southern accent ] You just might be a redneck.
[ Applause ]
That's what you get
when you invite Kid Rock to your wedding.
-Yeah. Might happen.
-You got to know that, as part of the thing.
-Don't do it, unless you want that to happen.
-He's a fun dude.
This one's from @EvanTheDeejay.
He says...
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
I love that we can't afford "Beat It,"
so that was the fake Michael Jackson "Beat It."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-You know, you got to know when to hold 'em.
[ Cheering and applause ] ♪♪
♪♪
-♪ They told him don't you! ♪
-♪ Smack it! ♪
[ Laughter and applause ] -Just smack it.
-Just...
[ Laughter ]
♪ They told him, you can come around, if you want ♪
♪ Like I don't wanna see you, but you could come over ♪
♪ But get out of the way 'cause you're gonna get smacked ♪
♪ So smack it ♪
♪♪
[ Clattering ] -You broke your brand-new guitar!
[ Cheering and applause ]
-♪ Just smack it! ♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
♪♪
[ Clattering ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
-Oh, he's going fishing.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
♪♪
[ Clattering ]
-No one's ever fished for their guitar.
-Not even Jimi Hendrix. -No.
-He tried to do it. I've seen it.
-He tried to do it. He couldn't do it.
-Couldn't do it. It's very hard to fish.
-No.
[ Laughter ]
-This one is from @jaydlangley.
He says...
There you go. [ Laughter ]
"Congurtulations!
Just marred."
-Oh. -Yeah.
-There was a bear coming down the aisle, yeah.
That's what happened. -"Just mauled."
[ Laughter ] Bear!
This one is from @radford-karalyn.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ] "No.
Wait." -"No.
Don't. Just cool it."
This last one comes with a picture attached.
-Okay. -It's from @Chase-Rich.
He says...
Take a look. -Oh! There you go.
[ Laughter and applause ] Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.
To check out more of our favorites, go to...