Ummm, I think this is more comfy than the last one and the one two back, but not as
comfy as the one we tried before last or the first one we tried.
Well, how about you try this one then?
Sir?
*snores*
Sir?
Yee haa, fire up for the Captain Snooze free linen bonanza
We have single mattresses from $89 to something really special….
It’ll be bedlam doctor!
Arrrgh??!?!
What is this nightmarish world?
Exhausted from mattress shopping?
How did you know?
Most mattress shoppers end up here.
I’ve been asleep in David Jones Adelaide for four hours!
Mattress shops don’t make it easy to compare prices and work out which style to buy.
Want me to show you?
Anything to get away from that guy.
So, what was your mattress buying plan?
I dunno.
Find a mattress I like, go to a few different shops and see who has the best deal?
Ha ha ha haaaa.
We'll test it out!
Choose a mattress.
I seem happy on this one.
The Sealy Revive.
$2,799
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Let’s see if we can find it cheaper somewhere else.
Wake up.
Now, do you see the Sealy Revive anywhere?
Umm, I think it might be...
Oh no, my mistake, that’s the Sealy Murray.
Hahahahah!
The Sealy Murray and the Sealy Revive are the same basic mattress model.
All right you don’t have to laugh at me.
Hahahahaha!
And at Domayne it’s the Belmonte and at Harvey Norman it’s the Vogue.
I’m confused.
That’s what they want you to be.
Now come with me!
Where are we going?
To a place of wonder and excitement!
Welcome to the offices of Choice magazine!
Oh… fine.
Ooooh!
Hello.
Helloooo!
Choice did a major investigation into the mattress industry in 2015
Right, and are we still in a dream?
Yep!
I’m asleep in a Harvey Norman in Brisbane right now.
Anyway, say you wanted to buy a TV - different retailers sell the exact same models, with
the same names - so you can easily compare prices.
But mattress makers and sellers want to make that hard to do
Yes, by using different model names for what are essentially the same product
While there may be some minor differences, like the padding, the basic technology is the same.
So when Domayne says the Sleepmaker Miracoil Bright
with its “strengthened Z-shaped springs arranged in continuous coils” is
“Exclusive To Domayne” - it's true, you can’t get the Bright anywhere else…
But the Miracoil Classic range is available in loads of other places
With the same “strengthened Z-shaped springs arranged in continuous coils.”
What’s happening?
I think security is shaking me awake.
Oooh, looks like I’m waking up too!
Hahaha, nice try. But you haven't learnt enough
about mattresses yet!
Okay, so to get a good deal, I just have to work out what name Forty Winks, Snooze, Harvey
Norman and all the others use for the base mattress model I want… and then I can compare
prices.
Hahahaha, foolish earthling.
Are you an alien?
I thought you were some kind of… dream elf?
Silence!
The basic models can also be customised with different toppers or different fibres
- and the retailers give each variation its own name.
uuuuggggghhh
Take the model that Sealy call ‘Exquisite.’
At 40 Winks they don’t just have one name for it, they have four.
The Allure, the Enchant, The Elegance and the Indulgence.
And at Snooze they also sell the Exquisite - but there it’s called the St Moritz, Locarno,
Lucerne or the Montreaux.
...all named after places in Switzerland.
I wonder why they don’t name one after Wankdorf.
Each variation, such as the mattress topper, comes with a different price point.
The Montreaux, which has a large mattress topper is two grand more
than the St Moritz, which doesn't.
But they're both still the Sealy Exquisite.
Is a topper worth that much?
Well at the end of the day mattresses are subjective.
You might sleep on the Montreaux topper and think this is the most comfortable mattress I've ever slept on!
But bear in mind, that good quality aftermarket memory foam mattress toppers
can be purchased for a couple of hundred dollars.
So how many variations are there?
Well, Sealy, which is Australia’s largest mattress manufacturer,
has nine different basic mattress styles available.
But at the retail level, there’s 131 different Sealy mattresses on the market,
each with a unique name that usually can’t be purchased at other stores.
Okay… take me to the mattress store.
I'll give the orders around here. To the mattress store!
So even once I work out which mattress I like, I still can’t be sure I’m getting the best price.
Well Choice found there are often better deals are advertised in store than online.
Yeah, but they're just trying to get you in the store so they can try and upsell you.
Hmm, you’re not as ignorant as I thought.
But be prepared to haggle, you can often get 50% off or more.
Great, can I wake up now and spend thousands of dollars on a mattress?
Well there is another option these days - a “bed in a box”
Ah, like a coffin!
No!
You buy them online and it gets sent to you in a box.
You know, those foam mattresses that are obsessed with the fact that you jump on them without
knocking over your red wine.
It started with online companies like Koala, Avatar and Ecosa, but even Sealy are getting into it.
They’re generally more expensive than the cheapest spring mattresses
but cheaper than most other options.
Ah, what are you doing?
Relax, haven’t you seen the ad?
But if I don’t want wine in bed, is foam actually any good?
Most “bed in a box” companies offer 100 day trial periods.
If the foam mattress doesn’t work for you, you can return it.
Time to go. This dream is over.
Goodbye Dream Wizard, I’ll never forget youuuuu!
My name is Keith!
Alright!
Please wake up.
Oh my God, I had the craziest dream.
There was a wizard, a talking mattress, and that Captain Snooze guy was there.
Oh I’m still here.
Mate! I’ve told you before, you can’t live here!
ALL PROPERTY IS THEFT!
Leave me alone you fascist brute! I am the Captain!
So are you going to buy this mattress or not?
Ahh, I think I’ll sleep on it.