(hibachi sizzles)
- Flames, onions, beef.
Hibachi, it's dinner theater.
It's about the flair.
Forward flip, woo!
Oh, so when you drop the spatula on the floor,
are they normally cool with you just picking it up?
(Keith laughs)
(high tempo music)
We're in the Hibachi Japanese Steakhouse in Rancho Mirage,
and we're here to learn, to train,
and then we're actually going to cook for our dinner guests.
It's one of the only times you eat dinner
with, like, strangers.
- It's like the peacocking of cooking.
One time I saw a guy, he had some onions,
and he made it into like a volcano,
and I was like, "Oh, shit, do that again."
I'm Kwesi James, and we are gonna make some hibachi
for that ass.
(crew laughs)
- Have you ever said, "Hibachi for that ass?"
- Hibachi for that ass?
- For that ass.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I just said it right now.
(all laugh)
- I'm Jimmy Ramel.
I've been a chef here for 15 years.
I was just a bus boy here years ago.
You know, this is a local spot,
so all the locals would come in,
and I knew a lot of locals,
so I would just talk to them all the time, and they say,
"Hey man, we're gonna teach you how to cook."
And I was like, "Oh man, dude, I don't know how to cook."
(hibachi sizzles)
Usually we start off with a beat, here we go.
(spatulas clanging rhythmically)
- Teppanyaki is an iron grill, and it's pan-seared.
So "teppan" means iron grill, and "yaki" means pan-seared.
- You're cooking on iron?
- [Jimmy] Yes.
- And you're a chef?
- Yes.
- So you are an iron chef?
- I guess so.
- Oh, I just put that together, dude.
- Right?
- That's crazy.
- Pretty sick.
- Give you something simple.
So, just back...
(spatula clangs)
(spatulas clang rhythmically)
There you go.
- I know how to grill.
I do things like that, but I haven't worked on a flat top
since I was in college and I worked at like a burger joint.
(spatulas clanging)
- [Jimmy] Wow!
(clanging continues)
- Huh?
- You're hired.
- Thank you.
(both laugh)
- Is there a certain order that I need to have it?
Is this okay?
- No, that's fine.
- [Keith] Get your fingers out of it.
- All right. Okay.
(all laugh)
Yes, I cook.
I love chopping vegetables,
but what I really like is the pepper grinder,
and I like the sound so much
that I over pepper everything that I make.
Any tricks of what to say?
- A lot of jokes, if you'd like to.
- Like dad jokes?
- Yeah, dad jokes.
Usually it's dad jokes.
- Sesame sauce.
This is what Elmo gets drunk on.
(crew laughs)
- And this is our ginger.
- Ginger sauce.
Now when you pour this, what's the trick?
You pour it real gingerly.
(crew laughs)
- [Kwesi] Hello. - [Keith] Hello!
(hibachi sizzles)
- Usually right here,
you're like, ladies, watch out for your eyebrows.
We do microblading in the back if you need it.
- [Kwesi] Wow! - [Keith] Oh, my god!
- [Kwesi] That's dangerous! - [Keith] Holy shit!
- [Kwesi] That's dangerous!
- We're really gonna do this?
I was like, okay!
- What you gonna do is you gonna make a puddle.
- Okay.
- Then you're gonna put a line.
- [Kwesi] Puddle.
- A little more.
- A little more puddle
and then a line.
Oh, wow.
That's like an art project. Look at that.
- [Jimmy] Yeah, yeah.
- Ooh.
- There you go.
- Like a long sperm.
(Jimmy laughs)
Or a comet!
- [Jimmy] Sake vodka in there.
- [Kwesi] This is sake.
A little for me.
- Yeah, sure.
Oh, yeah.
(Kwesi coughs)
(Jimmy laughs)
Keep going.
- Like that?
- Yeah.
All right. Light it up.
- Take that.
(flame ignites)
- Slowly.
(Kwesi screams)
- Yeah!
Again!
(Kwesi laughs)
- Woo!
And then what do we do? - Slide slowly.
Slide to the middle.
Oh, probably grab the fire.
(Keith screams)
(Jimmy laughs)
(Keith laughs)
- Ladies and gentlemen, vegetables, shrimp, appetizer first.
You got your onions, mushroom, carrots,
zucchini, yellow squash.
And bring it lower.
You can bring it lower.
There we go.
Yeah, don't be shy.
- I didn't know if there was gonna be mushroom
for all this vegetables.
Hey!
- [Jimmy] Appetizer shrimp.
- All right, slide we go.
Everything is neat about this, right?
It look like I'm in control.
I'm talking.
I'm joking.
(Kwesi laughs)
That wasn't funny.
- What you're gonna do is take off the tails.
So put that spatula down.
(shrimp sizzles)
- [Keith] Oh!
Shrimps!
Heads or tails?
I prefer heads.
And you cut these in half?
(intense music)
- Oh.
- There you go.
Tap, tap, tap.
- [Keith] The zucchini.
Wow! - [Kwesi] That's wow.
- There you go.
- You were holding it more here.
- [Jimmy] Yeah.
- What do you think?
How would you rate it?
- About a three.
- Hey, out of five?
Let's not continue your answer.
- All right, so we're gonna do
butter, lemon, soy sauce, mix it, and serve.
- You guys like bugs?
Oh, well I bet you'd like a butterfly.
(crew laughs)
Soy sauce makes you happy.
More like joy sauce.
Hello!
- Around the back.
- [Jimmy] Hey!
(Keith laughs)
- No look?
- Oh. Uh-oh.
(hibachi sizzles)
All right, everybody knows what this is.
- Oh shit!
Okay, all right. Okay.
- [Kwesi] It's show time.
- That's oil.
Sake vodka.
(flame ignites)
(spatula tapping)
Choo-choo! Choo-choo!
- [Kwesi] A little Bob the Builder on that ass.
- Once every one hundred years,
the pressure gets too much to bear.
- Are you gonna put oil first?
- Okay. Oh, it's over here.
- Yes.
- How much oil?
- Let's put these down first.
- Okay.
- [Jimmy] Good amount.
- [Kwesi] Crazy.
- That's good.
- Okay.
- And then-
- Sake?
- Lighter.
And you're gonna hear it "sss"
and then you're gonna light it.
(sake sizzles)
There it is.
Get into there.
- Woo! - Hey!
Fire in the hole.
- It gets too much.
Oh no!
- You gotta add more now.
- I gotta add more.
Okay.
Guys, sometimes volcanoes have a little bit of a misfire.
I'm not using enough, huh?
(Jimmy laughs)
- There you go.
- [Kwesi] And try...
- [Jimmy] There you go! - Yeah!
Choo-choo-choo!
We smokin', baby!
Let's go!
- [Jimmy] Earthquake. Ow.
- Wow!
You ever do this?
Sometimes you wanna show something slow motion.
(Kwesi and Jimmy laugh)
And then you go normal speed again.
What would you say that I'm doing the best at, so far?
- Talking.
(crew laughs)
- [Keith] I think that tracks.
(upbeat music)
- Egg rolls. Hey.
(crew laughs)
- [Keith] Egg rolls! Dad joke!
(upbeat music continues)
More of a egg wobble, but you get it.
- [Kwesi] What?
- [Keith] Wow.
- [Kwesi] What? - [Keith] Wow!
- There you go.
- [Keith And Kwesi] Hey!
- I can't get it.
How do you keep that from sliding all over the place?
(both laugh)
Come back here, boy!
Get back here, boy!
(Jimmy laughs)
- [Jimmy] There you go.
- Hey!
(everyone laughs)
- We're gonna try this one.
This one's hit or miss, guys.
(exciting music)
Oh!
(crew cheers)
Yolk's on me.
(tense music)
- Woo, baby!
Let's go, baby!
Oh, my god! I'm so happy!
(Kwesi laughs)
- [Keith] Gonna mix this up.
(spatula taps)
(exciting music)
(spatula rattles)
(Jimmy laughs)
Phew!
- Now put everything all together.
- Everything together!
Everybody in the pot!
Everybody at the party!
(Jimmy chuckles)
How loud are you allowed to be?
- As loud as you want.
- All right.
Everybody at the party!
You want every other table to be jealous
that they don't have you, right?
- Yeah, of course.
- Bowl time.
- [Kwesi] How about I flip it?
- Okay.
- You think it'll stay?
- Yeah, go ahead.
(Jimmy laughs)
(bowl clatters)
(everyone laughs)
- Dammit!
(Kwesi groans)
(hibachi hisses)
- [Jimmy] You wanna put the steak down first.
(Jimmy laughs)
- What's your favorite trick to do?
- Throwing the shrimp at people in their mouths.
Right there in your mouth!
Two, three...
(everyone laughs)
- And if it lands on their face, whose fault is it?
The catcher or the thrower?
- The catcher.
Yeah, I just throw it in the air.
You do what you want with it.
(Jimmy laughs)
Two, three...
(everyone laughs)
Oh!
Two, three...
There it is.
(Kwesi screams)
- [Keith] I got some of it.
- [Kwesi] One more time. One more time.
- There is hibachi for your ass.
Compared to your normal first training sessions,
how did that go?
- Actually went really well.
- Okay. - I'm impressed.
- Do you think I could have a career in this?
- No.
- Okay.
Well, thank you so much.
Appreciate it.
Now it's time to do the real show, without any help.
(guests cheering)
Okay, guys.
How are we feeling?
Welcome to "Hibachi for Your Ass".
(spatulas clang)
- Everybody ready for some hibachi,
everybody say yeah!
- [Guests] Yeah!
- All right.
(dramatic music)
(hibachi sizzles)
(guests cheer)
- [Keith] Woo! All right!
- Wide open.
(guests cheer)
- You okay, sweetie?
All right, you're gonna have a free meal today.
You guys like a little volcano action?
Huh? Wanna see a little volcano?
(guests cheering)
(Keith and Kwesi scream)
- We gonna throw it up?
(guests groan)
- [Keith] Hey, that's okay, that's all right.
- [Kwesi] That's okay!
- [Keith] We're gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
(uplifting music)
(guests cheering)
Well, I've got news for you.
That's it.
(guests applaud)
- How about a round of applause for our chefs?
- [Both] Yeah!
(peaceful tones)
- I am sweating my ass off in here!
(Jimmy laughs)
Gosh!