Hey guys!
I can't believe we're done with January already.
Where is my life going?!
So last week I told you guys some stories about my secondary school life,
and I asked at the end of the video: "Does anyone wanna see any more school stories?"
And all of you said yes, so this is part 2 of school stories.
I figured this week we'd talk about my primary school life.
(Elementary school.)
So my primary school life -
(Elementary school life)
was actually a lot more eventful than my secondary school life.
And the first story that I'm gonna tell you guys is actually the reason that I build my life upon
honesty and trust.
So this is gonna be fun reliving that.
Now back when I was in primary school, we used to have weekly swimming lessons.
Bottom line, there were 6 weekly sessions and you had to pay for all 6 in one go.
Well my family didn't have the money for 6, so we only paid for 5.
I meant 5!
(Laughs)
So after my parents gave me the money for these 5 swimming lessons, my dad says to me:
"Emma, make sure you find out that if we can only pay for 5 and pay for the other one later,
we can still go for 6 lessons."
To which I said: "Ok!" And then I went to school, and forgot to ask my teacher about it.
I come home, my dad says: "Did you ask your teacher?"
And I go:
"Oh, no I didn't".
Actually, I probably said: "Shit, no I didn't!".
Quite rightfully I guess my dad's got a bit grumpy, so my dad says:
"Right, tomorrow you ask, and if you don't you are in serious trouble".
So I go to school the next day, with my mind filled with:
"I've got to ask my teacher about this, I've got to ask my teacher about this"
Do I actually need to say I forgot or do you just know me by now?
So I come home from school, once again having forgotten to ask my teacher
about this stupid little swimming thing.
My dad says:
"Did you ask her?"
And I thought to myself: "Oh my God my dad's gonna kill me, what do I do?"
I know!
I'll lie to him!
Because if you lie to your parents, you won't get in trouble at all!
Dickhead!
So for some really stupid reason, I say to my dad:
"Uh yeah, she - she said if you pay for 5 - then you go for 5".
My dad believed me,
and he emailed my teacher with some really nasty stuff.
I didn't know about the email at this point, so I go to school the next day.
My teacher seems a bit off and weird with me and then,
I come out of school, my dad's waiting outside the school, which is weird because at the age of 10 or 11
I was usually walking myself home
at that point, you know I'm not a complete fuckin' ninny.
Is that offensive? I am so so- I don't even know what that means
Define 'ninny'.
(Siri) Ok Emma, here you go
(Emma) A stupid, foolish person, ok I'm not offensive, good.
Thank fuck for that.
I walked up to my dad and he's giving me this look as if to say:
(Evil, deep voice) You are in serious trouble for something you don't know about yet,
come over here and face your fate and find out-"
(Normal) WHY are you ringing the house now!?
Uhh
(Sighs)
I don't even know if you heard that phone ring, but I promise it did.
My dad says to me: "She didn't say if you pay for 5 you go for 5, did she Emma?"
I'm now looking at him as if I've just been completely busted, I've got watery eyes,
and I'm standing there just crapping myself.
Probably not literally, I can't remember.
My dad goes on to explain that he sent an email to my teacher saying
that it was a really vague answer, and it didn't really say anything and that she was, like,
pretty much like she was incompetent and -
oh.
It made my teacher ring up my dad in tears, explaining the situation.
Making your teacher cry at the age of 10.
Sass.
I'm such a bad person.
My 2nd story happened the year after the 1st story and I -
agh, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Basically at my primary school, (elementary school)
basically you had the school buildings and then you had a library that was a separate building.
We'd visit the library during our classes, teacher would use a little combination to get in,
and it was off limits to anybody at lunchtimes.
You know where this is going
I thought: "Hey, imagine if I could get into that library".
So next time we had a class where we went to the library, I looked over my teacher's shoulder -
different teacher, I think the first one was too traumatized to ever teach me again.
That following lunchtime, for reasons fuckin' unknown, I take my friend Sharon,
who is 2 years younger than me, to the library and we use the combination and we sneak in.
This was before I read Harry Potter, by the way, before breaking into libraries was considered 'cool'.
What kind of fucking kid breaks into a school library and thinks:
"YES! All of these books are mine for 10 minutes!"
Really?!
We're walking around this small library, and this library's like the size of my room,
it's not very big.
And we hear someone typing in the code on the door.
Now lucky for us, this library had toilets so me and Sharon ran into these toilets.
We run into a cubicle and just say to each other: "Shit, what the hell do we do?"
All this time Sharon is pretty much crying she's like 8 years old, and I've just got her in so much trouble.
So I think back to this whole 'being honest' thing and 'if you tell the truth you can't get in trouble'.
Why?!
So I say to my friend Sharon: "Look we'll be ok, we'll just go out there and tell the truth,
and if we tell the truth they can't be mad at us, let's just be honest and say that we wanted to have a look in the library".
We walk out into the main area of the library, and the teacher that was really - how do I put it?
The bitch teacher, was right there.
Never in my life and never since have I seen someone's face go from white to red to purple
in such a quick time.
Mrs P, the teacher that doesn't like anybody, is standing there looking at us both,
and then situation sort of dawned on me and Sharon, just how much, like, doom
was about to hit us.
Now she has just absolutely exploded at us.
We get marched from the library to the headmistress, we get in even more trouble.
Fortunately, and thank God for this, they didn't tell our parents but-
(Sighs)
You think that if you're honest then you don't get in trouble,
that's bullshit ecause if we'd stayed in those toilets, Mrs P, this fuckin' asshole
would of just walked straight back out, she wouldn't have gone into the kid's toilets.
We would of got away with it scot-free if we just stayed there and continued our hiding, lying espionage,
whatever you wanna fuckin' call it.
Anyway that's enough story telling forever, I will catch you guys next week.
Bye!
I think I'm gonna keep the pink, even though I need to redo my roots.
Be daring and have the same hair colour for 2 months.
That is really bad, look at that.
(Sighs)
Ahh damn it!