do you know want to talk about that one
thing that happened sure oops what
happened real quick
I was slipped Molly oh yeah but on a
podcast right
no no podcast and then I my kids were
there and so I was blown up and I don't
wanna hang all my kids and so I went to
the store and I ran into David Spade
well I'm like all Molly and I see David
Spade I'm like oh you were here story
stop rubbing my eye like this very
touchy-feely than normal alright I liked
it though I liked that whole story cuz
then you had to take a flight later oh I
got on a plane blowing up just like yeah
oh god is right I'm literally talking
the ear off on the boat all I hear is
someone complaining about free drugs
yeah yeah that's what Bill Cosby said
[Laughter]
over the weekend Elon Musk drove oh and
the new Tesla truck - no boo Malibu any
any tagged a parking cone the way out
making an illegal turn let's - let's
take
all right not exactly Mary Andretti but
I I think that I'm one of the few people
that I think those trucks are kind of
cool I wouldn't mind getting one I'd
have to see it out spannabis beautiful
about this truck this is a truck
designed by a man who's never needed or
used a truck yeah selling it to a man
who's never needed him over paying it
yeah I'll pay whatever it takes to get
that thing I like him I think you know
what it's like the guy's obviously very
smart he's very well-read but he's an
idiot and the same sense he like he does
he's like the relatable next door genius
that you have you just like oh this guy
is could build a spaceship that goes to
Mars but also will hit a cone just like
I do
I know I know a lot of time guys like
drive specific cars to get women I'm
like who is he picking up in this
vehicle
who is he attract I would hide the
comedian to me would go out with him
just for the bit right because that's
hilarious
but like where is he gonna take me on a
date to the Thunderdome like what it is
a bit mad Maxie he definitely wears a
Fitbit while he's having sex yeah the
new improved one oh I have like so many
of those flamethrowers he's so so great
see if I can do some sort of treatment
all right British woman was sick of her
husband spending late nights in his
local pub so she built him a bar for him
in their own backyard oh boy next up
she's gonna learn how to play golf
honey I have great news I get to do more
things with you I don't know if she's
getting what's going on here
she spent 25 grand on that bar yeah my
wife wouldn't spend $25,000 to have me
murdered the doghouse she caused the
doghouse cuz he's in the doghouse but I
don't even know if they can serve beer
and sell it I mean Britain I know if
there's any laws over there but I I
don't know I think she just has free
beer for him and his friends but it's a
little smothering I thought she was
gonna be uglier
see yes Karen this great hey spent 1200
bucks again an elliptical but she's not
like I don't because she spent so much
money to get her husband to stay home
you yeah I was like she's gotta be a pig
and then she's not my wife's like my was
like a solid six and I'm and I can't
imagine what she would have to build in
my backyard to get me she didn't tell me
she made it into a gay bar though no I
feel like if you have to build your
husband a bar then he's probably not
that into you right like just say he
could spend more time with you like let
me spend more time with my alcoholic
husband like yeah my husband yell to me
when I burn the meatloaf he's gonna
build a second little secret bar in the
other end of the yard and then sneak out
and go over there and escape we should
build him a little Stabbin cabin for his
mistress Savin Kevin start the t-shirts
women in Russia what's happening over
there I'll tell you they've been posting
pictures of a new plastic surgery crazy
lifts look nuts I love this I love we
have a word when this kind of surge in
America it's called botched no that's
beautiful you're gonna get surgery lean
into it no don't try to hide it for me
that's what I don't try yeah when I go
oh wait wait wait you're what's happen
your face it's falling apart no no no no
no I got plastic surgery to look at it
and that's what I like I do like it yeah
that's really owning it a little bit I
do it to mind if I go down now no those
lips are so ugly offset wouldn't them
[Applause]
you can't give anybody hickeys with that
cuz they'll know immediately it was you
they look like Christmas cookie cutters
like the item on your lip actually want
to get a crazy mistress like a crazy
mistress where she's like I wanna get
those lips but let's do it let's see
what that's like and then yeah you play
with them for a little bit that way your
wife can get upset she's completely
different than your wife
you can get these old-fashioned way by
breaking out with herpes
[Music]