- Okay, so I know that there have been a lot of um,
heated emotions between you two lately,
so I would like you each to, one at a time,
please tell me how you're feeling.
- Everything I do, - He's obsessed with me.
I do for him and he does never not say thank you.
- Okay, okay, okay.
I did say one at a time, but okay.
I would classify this as a textbook toxic relationship.
So Rick and Morty, why don't you tell me,
in your own words, how you think it got to this point.
- I have no idea, I can't get rid of him
I tried to break it off but he won't leave me alone.
- 'Cause you're mine babe,
and nobody else gets you like I do.
- You don't own me.
(laughing)
- That's so funny, that's the classic kind of joke.
- Okay, all right, okay, that's enough.
Hey, let's separate.
Just remember our I feel statements.
Okay, now I want you both to think back
to when this relationship started.
Were you ever happy?
What made you happy?
- I mean, I had never met anyone as passionate as him.
You know, nonstop praise and affection 24/7,
but eventually, it just got to be too much.
- That's bologna, it's honestly your bitch friends
who are always trying to pull us apart
because they're jealous of what we have.
They don't get you, nobody but me gets you.
- No one wants to be around me anymore because of him.
He scares them all away.
The first thing everything things about
when they think of me, is him.
- That's a good thing, babe!
(laughing)
- Oh my, what do you even like about me?
- I'm like Rick.
- You enjoy being around Rick and Morty
because you see a reflection
of yourself in Rick, is that it?
- Rick is a piece of shit.
You are hero worshiping a character
that's meant to be mocked.
- He's super smart, he badass, he do science, he's burping.
- It sounds to me like you've placed your identity
into the hands of Rick and Morty,
and he doesn't want that, okay?
You see how that's unfair to him?
- I guess tell that to Pickle Rick friggin rules.
- I don't want to talk to your tattoo, I wanna talk to you.
- Everything I do is for you.
Remember, we went to Mcdonalds
and the Mcdonalds guy came out
and he didn't have the szechuan sauce from the episode?
And I punched the Mcdonalds guy in the head
and you never said thank you.
- Why would I say thank you for that?
- I care about you so much, and other people say they do
but they don't, like they don't even
know what a schmeckle is
like you, like do you even know what a schmekle is?
- Yes, it's a form of currency I think.
(yelling)
- Stop it, don't tell him to shut up, you shut up.
- Sorry, shut up!
- Stop, you can't talk to me like that, okay?
Stop, stop. - shut up!
- Maybe we can all shut the fuck up
for just a couple moments here.
I don't often recommend this, but I think maybe you two
don't belong together, I think you should find new
fan base, and I think that maybe you should just
be alone for a little while, you know, discover yourself.
Because it seems like you're hurting the very things
that you care about, you know,
I myself like Rick and Morty quite a bit.
- What the fuck did you just say to me?
(mumbling)
You're a fucking dead man.
- Okay, stop.
- I'm gonna beat your ass.
- Okay.
- Nobody loves Rick and Morty more than me!
- Okay, what I'm trying to say is that I empathize with you.
- Nobody!
- I also like the show, I find it very funny.
It's a good mix of high brow and low brow.
Jesus!
- All high brow!
- I have a character named Mr. Poopy Butthole, I'm low brow.
- You just don't get it!
- I am it!
- Fuck you.
(yelling)
(crying)
- I'm so sorry about that.
- It's okay.
You know, I really do like you a lot, it's just, you know,
sometimes I'm embarrassed to admit it
because I don't want to be associated with that.
- Hey, I get it, I get it.
- [Man] Lick, lick, lick my balls!
- So what I'm hearing from you is that you're confused
about where this relationship is going?
- To be honest, I don't know what I'm still doing here.