hey guy welcome back to the inside of
george lopez
i'm your host george lopez i've said it
once i've said it a million times 2001
was a great year to be
eight the first kidz bop was released
there was no global pandemic
and director robert rodriguez shocked
the world when he released his movie
spy kids up until that point he was
known pretty much exclusively for
producing
extremely violent crime movies so when
he came out with this colorful
family-friendly action movie about
children saving the world from a bunch
of fingers i think people were a little
surprised even more surprising though it
was a massive hit
personally i loved that movie when it
came out i loved that all the adults
were dumb and the kids were smart and
they got to use a bunch of cool gadgets
that i wished were real
that was 100 my childhood fantasy was to
be a spy
instead of the lame ass dork i actually
was anyway after the success of the
first one it was time to turn
spy kids into a franchise one year later
spy kids 2 came out
and it was a pretty good sequel steve
buscemi is here now so that's cool
another year later spy kids 3d came out
and that's when things started to go off
the rails in 2003
3d was a super gimmicky and always
underwhelming addition to movies that
really just meant that tickets would be
more expensive
and the characters would lean towards
the camera a lot whoa
so after three movies in three years it
was time for a new approach to the spy
kids cinematic universe and in 2005
robert rodriguez would strike gold with
the release of
shark boy and lava girl which truly
might be
the greatest bad movie ever made mr
electric send him to the principal's
office and have him expelled
somehow with four more years of
technological advancements and a
significantly higher budget robert
rodriguez managed to make a movie that
looked worse
than the first spy kids i can only
assume all of that extra money went
solely to paying george lopez who plays
a teacher a villain and a human computer
all at once that's the dumbest idea i've
ever heard the rest of the cast is
pretty bad all around the titular lava
girl is played by taylor dooley who you
may know from this movie
and only this movie future werewolf
taylor lautner plays a brooding sharkboy
who may have a bad temper but
still has a few tricks up his sleeve
it's working keep it up sharkboy
just relax lay about or my face will put
you out
dream dream dream dream dream dream
take your time buffy there's darkness in
the air
i think what really sets the tone for
this movie is the quote
they show right before the opening
credits oh interesting was that like
steve jobs or copernicus no
lava girl said that remember remember
when lava girl said that i'm not gonna
go too in depth here because plenty of
people already have on this website but
i will say that every time you think the
plot is starting to make sense
it takes an insane left turn you
couldn't have possibly seen coming
they're singing at a frequency
my highly trainers fight disturbance
[Music]
and no matter what it is it always looks
terrible i cannot stress enough to you
that this is the ugliest movie i've ever
seen in my entire life some of the
visuals are so hideous
it's actually disturbing and on top of
that whenever one of the characters
needs to move the story along they do so
by simply
falling asleep go to sleep so most of
the time they're either sleeping
or screaming at each other how about a
knuckle sandwich max is a good boy he
ruined my dream journal
they're behind you and i think the
director must have told taylor dooley at
some point that if she stops smiling for
even
one second she'll get fired
not much else to see here let's go ahead
and just skip to the end
tell him i love him don't leave me
i thought you wanted me to leave no i
don't
you're my best friend
holy i can't believe people didn't
like this i'm not going anywhere
considering that sharkboy and lavagirl
is a terrible movie from 15 years ago
that almost everybody hated it was
really only a matter of time until
netflix used their infinite supply of
money
to fund a sequel and that's what they
did we can be heroes is the name of this
movie it does not star taylor lautner
but it does have
yaya goslin who you may recognize from
being on the fbi's most wanted list
really disappointing that they let her
act in this movie instead of just
arresting her on the spot but
no one listens to me thankfully the
other taylor does come back to reprise
her beloved role as lava girl i gotta
say this actress has not had the best
luck throughout her career
she's only been in a handful of movies
and believe it or not according to imdb
ratings
the best one is this movie so i think
we're in for a treat basically we can be
heroes is sharkboy and lava girl
for the new generation hit me sorry not
sorry it's like spy kids
with a bit of a modern twist just a
quick selfie for my socials while i stop
this thing
i do that too shark boy and lava girl
are all grown up now so naturally
they're married and have a kid
my mommy is lava girl but my dad is
choked boy am i crazy for thinking that
maybe it's time to start calling him
shark man at this point it just seems a
little degrading to be like oh hey
there goes shark boy i just turned 30.
the premise of this movie is actually
pretty funny all of these kids are
children of the heroes so they all have
like
weird underdeveloped offshoots of their
parents
superpowers like this kid's dad is super
fast
but he's super slow this one girl can
just
sing really well that's cool
and this kid makes funny faces i can
even change my face look like
you
but then disaster strikes while they're
all locked inside spy kids headquarters
where they have to watch their parents
get taken down by aliens on tv
it's pretty emotional um i actually
cried for about 20 minutes ladies and
gentlemen
the heroics have fallen i hope the news
studio gives their graphic designer a
raise he made that entire logo in like
three seconds
we're getting word that the president
would like to address the nation
people of america hold on i'm like 99
sure that that guy was also president in
the spy kids movies which means
he's been in power for like 19 years is
the spy kids president
a dictator this movie's dystopian as
hell
[Music]
hopelessly bad how did this guy ever get
to be president
he can't even put two sentences together
nice i see what they did there
political commentary always hits the
hardest in children's movies
so don't ask us how we know this but
aliens are about to attack
and we're no longer safe here this place
is a fortress
nothing's getting in and i'm afraid no
one's getting out either sorry kids but
you can't leave this room it's too
dangerous out there
and if we gotta kick your ass to keep
you safe
then that's what we're gonna
[Music]
oh do
she's got shark strength you know that
thing in video games when an npc is
following you around
and they get stuck on like a wall or
something but then you turn the camera
and they've teleported right next to you
that's what this character does because
i looked and he is nowhere to be found
during all of these chase scenes and
then the doors to the train close
and there he is never should have come
here
why don't you cheer us up by singing one
of those little songs you sing so well
sharkboy
dream dream calm down sharkboy
do these two not have regular names
imagine not only being married to
sharkboy
but you also have to call him sharkboy
can you just go by like steve i like how
super early on in the movie they realize
that this one girl can
draw the future and they can use that to
get out of whatever predicament they're
in but then
every time they get stuck they still
have to have that same epiphany oh
that's really smart
oh ho drew us a clue oh i got it we
should just look at her drawing
that's a great idea and a brand new one
too but make sure we forget about this
so there's still tension next time i
need a pair of pliers and a heat source
my teeth are strong because my dad's a
shook you don't have to explain that
every time we understand the genetic and
i have a fin on my back
because my dad is shark oh my god we get
it guppy quick guys all the tears
[Music]
what are you making making a key
[Music]
little miss guppy you just saved us
god melted can you make another one i
didn't get over here fast enough
shocking twist the one girl turns out to
be evil oh it was an alien spy so then
she starts drawing monsters to kill them
with
i'm running out of water hey what if
instead of
fighting the monsters every time you
know the ones she's bringing to life
with her ipad
we just take her ipad not so fast
see this wouldn't have happened if you
had just taken the ipad
why am i not in charge these kids are
kind of dumb
that's the name of the movie okay big
spoiler alert here
which i'm sure you care about if you're
watching this but the big twist at the
end of the movie was that
a lot of these people are actually
aliens including the president he's just
like a
lizard monster but then after the kids
save the day
by literally one second because it's a
movie all of the aliens are like
surprise we're actually good this was
all a test
and there were actually no stakes
because we always knew
that you would do it so basically the
whole movie leads up to the bad guys
being like
just kidding and that's awesome as we
each head off to face the challenges of
the universe
can we count on you to not just help
save your planet
but the entire galaxy
hell no we can be so if i'm being 100
honest this movie is not terrible it
would be really easy for me
to do the cynical thing where i'm like
uh the garbage store called
they want their trash bag but it really
wasn't as bad as i
expected it to be and i think it would
be disingenuous for me to be like well
spy kids is good
because i saw it when i was a kid and
this movie sucks
because i was 27 when i watched it i
think this has just as much
charm and fun action as the original spy
kids
as long as you're within the target
demographic maybe this is just me but i
think a lot of people my age come to
expect
more out of movies like this
specifically because of what pixar has
done i was the perfect age to enjoy
monsters inc
when that movie came out and then when i
was old enough to go to college but
accidentally chose not to
they released monsters university a
movie about college i also grew up
loving toy story 1 and 2
and then the third one comes out when
i'm nearing the end of high school
and it's a movie about moving on from
your childhood which is what i was
trying to do in recent years they've
started coming out with these
brilliantly conceptualized movies about
the spectrum of human emotion and
what it means to be alive literally the
meaning of life these super heady
concepts that actually make you engaged
and
feel something as an adult while still
being animated well enough to hold the
attention of a child and i feel like no
matter what movie pixar releases
besides cars 2 i've always been a member
of the film's target audience we can be
heroes
is not like that and that's okay it's a
movie made for kids
featuring a bunch of characters that no
well-adjusted child should have any
business knowing about and if you go
into it expecting it to be anything more
than that
you're gonna be seriously disappointed i
give sharkboy and lava girl two
three shark boys and lava girls out of
five well i had a lot of fun but our
date's almost over now so let me make
sure we did everything looks like i can
cross
a movie off the list i forgot about
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dark streak