- Nixon is like, "I never knew of this Watergate break in
to discover information about the Democrats."
And after that, he says, "I am not a crook."
Nixon knows he (bleep).
And he says;
"There's nothing I can do about it.
Nobody's gonna trust me at this point.
I gotta step down him.
Hand me some cookies."
(dramatic music)
- The constitutional convention.
This is the room where they're deciding
what the shape of our government should be.
They're hashing it out, and Hamilton speaks for six hours.
But some of the things he pitched
would haunt him the rest of his career.
He pitched, maybe president for life?
Oh, he's secretly a monarchist.
Maybe we inherit positions?
Bullshit, that's terrible.
This guy just wants to bring back the British.
Those whispers are from the perspectives
of people who don't like him.
But anyway, we adopt the system that we adopt
and Hamilton becomes its most ardent defender.
(bright upbeat music)
So, I'm trying to find the straightest line
through this story.
So Hamilton has an affair.
While he's a treasury secretary he carries on this affair
with a woman named Maria Reynolds.
Her husband shows up, he's like, "Yo, that's my wife.
I'm happy to like, keep it on the low
but you have to pay me."
And is basically extorted for about $1000.
James Reynolds, the husband who is extorting him,
gets arrested on some other bullshit.
While he's trying to weasel his way out of it
he says, "I've got dirt on Alexander Hamilton."
Everyone goes, "Really?"
Hamilton has been embezzling,
and he sort of says all this shit about Hamilton.
And so three guys go to confront Hamilton on these charges.
One of the dudes was future president, James Monroe.
And they're like, "Yo, Hamilton, we know what you did.
You know what you did,
check out these checks to James Reynolds, what's up?"
And they accuse him of embezzling funds.
And Hamilton goes, "No, no, no,
I was just (bleep) this lady
and her husband was hitting me up for money.
I didn't touch American money
and I have all kinds of proof."
And he like vomits information all over them.
Oh wow, that was more than we needed to hear.
And we are good, thanks.
The info about the affair
gets somehow miraculously printed in the paper.
Hamilton is not a great dude.
I know you think he's great
'cause he's a war vet and he's the treasury secretary
but you're gonna learn the truth real soon.
And Hamilton gets this and he goes to James Monroe.
What the (bleep), like I told you that in secret.
And then James Monroe's like, "It wasn't a secret.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't me who published it?"
Mother(bleep), I told three people about this
and you were the one who was taking notes.
So I know it came from you, like fess up you (bleep).
So Hamilton, over-sharer, writes the "Reynolds Pamphlet."
The whole thing reads like a "Dear Penthouse" letter.
Like, "Dear America,
I never thought this would happen to me.
But one day this ripped bodus woman
showed up at my door saying, "Oh my husband's beating me.
He left me alone and I need money, and I need help.
You are a man of honor.
Can you help me?"
Hamilton's like, "I could give her money
or I could (bleep) her and either one would be acceptable.
The "Reynolds Pamphlet" is like dick 101.
And by the way, he sent this to his friends
being like, "Hey I think I'm gonna publish this."
And everyone was like, "Hey bro,
I don't think this is a good idea to publish this.
Like maybe your wife and your seven children
would not love it if you published this."
And Hamilton's like,
"Well, like I got accused of embezzling.
Like I can't let that stand."
Maybe the like marital infidelity trumps that.
I know it doesn't in your head
but to everyone else in the world, it does.
And he is like, "No, I can't let that shit stand."
And Hamilton goes back to James Monroe,
and now Hamilton's like, "Well, it's all out in the open.
And if you still wanna settle this
because I know you're the one who leaked it."
Monroe's like, "Well, I didn't leak it.
But if you want to like fight, like let's do this."
(dramatic music)
And so they meet face to face.
And Monroe goes, "All right.
You're mad at me because of this, this and this."
And Hamilton goes, "Let's start at the beginning."
And lists like the first time they met,
he lists the details of the entire meeting.
As Monroe gets more and more impatient,
Monroe's like, "I know all this, I know all this.
I know all this."
Hamilton's like, "You interrupted me,
I have to start again."
And Monroe is getting angrier and angrier
until they're finally pulled apart,
'cause they're about to like punch each other in the face.
So Monroe goes to his homey, Aaron Burr,
and goes, "Yo, you know Hamilton, will you tell him."
This is so like high school gossip.
He goes, "Will you tell Hamilton
that if he's challenging me to a duel, I accept.
But if he's not, I wasn't challenging him to a duel."
And Burr goes over to Hamilton,
like, "James Monroe told me to tell you
that if you're challenging him, he accepts.
But if you weren't challenging him
he doesn't really want to go into a duel."
And Burr squashes the duel.
Burr is like, "Duels are stupid,
and you both should just like shut up, and it's over.
And Hamilton told everyone everything anyway.
So there's no point in you shooting at each other."
Sorry, I gotta put my phone on vibrate.
- [Derek] You're okay.
- Oh Questlove is...
- Questlove?
- Texting me.
"You did drunk history?"
What?
How did quest love find out?
- Oh.
- [Derek] Here we go.
- [Questlove] Yo!
- Questlove!
- Yo!
(Quest laughing)
(all laughing)
This is the best shit ever.
I cannot wait for this episode.
My girl and I got together
based on our love for "Drunk History."
- You see the effect you have?
- Well, I love you both.
♪ History has its eyes on you ♪
- Yes.
- This is awesome!
- [Derek] Cheers. - [Lin-Manuel] Bye Qeusto.
(dramatic music)
- Hello, my name is Matt Gourley.
And tonight we're gonna talk about Watergate.
Let's begin.
(dramatic music)
Washington DC, 1972.
Five Watergate burglars are arrested
in the Democratic National Committee headquarters.
What are they doing there?
Why are they breaking in?
The young upstart reporter, Robert Woodward,
goes to the hearing.
And one of them,
when the judge is asking these five burglars,
Who do you work for?
The CIA.
Excuse me?
Could you say that a little bit louder?
The CIA.
(dramatic music)
Robert Woodward is on to something.
Oh, look at the sweet little fat guy.
Where do you gotta be right now?
Okay, let's go back in time.
The year is 1970, a young Robert Woodward,
a Lieutenant in the Navy.
He's sitting next to this older distinguished man
saying, "I'm soon to be out of the Navy.
What am I gonna do with my life?
Am I gonna become a lawyer like my father wants?"
And this older man presents himself as a mentor
saying, "So listen to me,
you're working for truth.
Stay with it."
And young Robert Woodward takes away from this thing,
"I can depend on this man.
I can call on this man at some point
to give me information."
That man is Mark Felt, Deputy Director of the FBI.
Let's flash forward a little bit.
Robert Woodward and his partner, Carl Bernstein,
decide to call on his old buddy, Mark Felt,
for information about Watergate.
Felt says, "I can't talk to you on the phone about this.
I'm Mark Felt,
and I did spy times in World War II,
and I know how this works.
You'll get the New York Times every day at your door,
at page 20, I will draw a little clock
that says what hour I wanna meet you.
And here's the thing;
Anytime you wanna meet me,"
Mark Felt says, "I need something
that I could visually acknowledge."
Woodward says, "I do have this potted plant
that I keep out my balcony.
I could move that."
And Mark Felt is like, "And here's the thing;
I wanna meet you
at this underground parking garage in Virginia.
But anytime you wanna meet leave out the back stairs.
Walk a couple of blocks, get in the cab, take that cab,
get out of the cab, walk a couple blocks,
get in another cab.
Get in that cab, get out of that cab,
walk a couple blocks to the Virginia parking garage
that I previously talked about."
Woodward meets Felt.
And he says...
Hold on.
I think I'm gonna vomit.
(Mart burps)
(Matt vomiting)
- [Derek] Sorry, pal.
- Oh man.
I'm ready to tell the story.
Woodward meets with Mark Felt,
and he says, "Could you tell me a little bit
about why these guys might be connected?"
And he says, "Put the pieces together you dumb ass!
It's all in front of you, do the work.
Just be careful.
Watergate is the tip of the iceberg."
And when Robert Woodward took his secret source
to the Washington Post,
he said, "My source is deep background,
that means he cannot be identified."
Their editor at the Washington Post
said, "Yeah, you keep calling him deep background,
but I'm gonna call him deep throat,
based on the pornography film that was very popular
which dealt with natural ladies," you know?
And so Woodward and Bernstein figure out
that this money connected to these burglars
goes all the way to the Watergate administration,
to the Nixon administration.
Richard Nixon.
Let's talk about Richard Nixon.
Do you wanna talk about Richard Nixon?
- [Derek] I would love, yes please.
- Yeah, I thought you might.
Mark Felt says to Nixon,
"I'm the Deputy Director of the FBI.
I'm gonna look into this rascal deep throat,
and further I'm gonna set myself up
as head of the investigation."
So Nixon's top aid, Haldeman,
says, "I think Mark Felt is deep throat."
And Nixon says, "No, why would he do that?"
And when the Watergate hearings gets to a boiling point,
Nixon is like, "I never knew of this Watergate break in
to discover information about the Democrats.
And after that, he says, "I am not a crook."
Nixon knows he (bleep).
And he says, "There's nothing I can do about it.
Nobody's gonna trust me at this point.
I gotta step down."
Hand me some cookies.
All I know is I'm eating cookies and I don't know if you are
Do you guys want some cookies?
- [Derek] No, we like watching you eat cookies.
- You have no ambition.
The interesting thing about this tape we're taking on,
is all the stories we know of Watergate,
is who is Deep Throat?
But now we can tell this story knowing who Deep Throat is.
And in the end you can toss aside Richard Nixon
for all his cynicism,
you can toss aside Deep Throat for all his cynicism.
But you can't toss aside Robert Woodward,
and to a lesser extent, Carl Bernstein,
for the truth that they exposed for America.
(dramatic music)
Well, we told the story of Watergate.
There's no way I could possibly misconstrue
it as not the greatest journalistic endeavor ever told.
Robert Woodward would be proud.
(dramatic music)
- Hello, I'm Katie Nolan.
And this is the story of the black hawks.
Black hawks?
- You wanna do "Black Hawk Down."
- Maybe?
- I feel like we should do...
- Should we do the baseball thing instead,
and then maybe next (bleep) we'll do "Black Hawk Down?"
- God bless Josh Hartnett though.
- Hello, I'm Katie Nolan.
And this is the "Black Sox Scandal."
(calm music)
Our story begins in 1919, exactly 100 years ago.
The Chicago White Sox are in the middle of a winning season.
Their owner, Charles Comiskey, was a piece of shit.
He's making a bunch of money,
he doesn't even pay for their laundering of their uniforms.
The players are like, "This is bullshit."
We're playing good baseball,
and we should be paid more money
because we're people and we have families."
So the players are being (bleep) by ownership.
They were pissed,
So Chick Gandil, first baseman.
He's like, "Look, I'm towards the end of my career.
I wanna make a bunch of money
and I can't make a bunch of money
because I'm not getting paid it."
So Arnold Rothstein, who was a mob dude,
Arnold Rothstein approaches him.
And he says, "Hey kid.
I wanna make money, you wanna make money.
You play games for a living,
I will pay you monies and you will throw the World Series."
And he's like, "That's it?
That's so easy, I can lose."
And so Rothstein said, "Look, I'm glad you're on the team.
But one person is not enough to throw baseball game.
We're gonna need a lot of other people."
"Maybe like eight people?"
So he called a meeting with a bunch of players on the team.
Now that included Eddie Cicotte, Lefty Williams
and then Shoeless Joe Jackson.
And so Chick Gandil, he's like,
"Look everybody, I met this dude.
He will give us $100,000 if we lose the World Series.
And a lot of them were like, "Uh, what?
I love baseball,
all I've ever done is devoted my life to baseball."
And Chick's like, "Yeah, no, I get it.
But we can make more money losing
than we will earn notoriety winning."
So the guy is like, "I will compromise everything
for some cash."
So the players leave that meeting
and they recruited a bunch of dudes within the team.
So they have eight people.
I wanna bring the mic down to my face.
We get to the point where they get to the World Series
the Chicago White Sox versus Cincinnati Reds.
Game one, best of nine.
The White Sox heavily favored,
and Eddie Cicotte takes the mound.
So the signal between the players and the gambling guy
was that Eddie would hit the very first batter.
He winds up, he throws his first pitch
and it's a perfect strike.
He throws it right down the middle.
And everyone's like, "Wait, what the (bleep)?
I thought we were gonna throw the game."
Second pitch, winds up, throws it,
dunk, hits the batter.
And so everybody knows, oh, it's on.
So the game goes on and on and on,
Eddie throws terrible pitches.
They lose nine to one.
- [Derek] Holy shit.
- The papers come out the next day, Derek.
And they're like, what?
But we gotta go on to game two.
Throughout the series they keep losing.
Whoopsies, I should have probably caught that.
And then they were like,
"Oh, I wish I could throw that to the plate,
but I can only throw it to the pitcher."
"Oh, a line drive, ah, whoopsies."
And Chick Gandil was like,
"Oh, I'm gonna get this.
I got it.
I got it."
And he waved everybody off,
and then he just didn't got it.
I'm getting too drunk to be able to maintain...
- You're okay, we're just gonna have to finish that story.
- So the series is four to one,
Lefty Williams says,
"Hey, we have not received any payments.
We're not going to keep throwing our legacy for nothing.
Let's go up it on the baseball field.
Let's come from behind and win this World Series, yeah!"
So for the next few games they're like trying,
they're winning.
Then the night before the eighth game of the series,
Arnold Rothstein and his associates
visited Lefty Williams in his hotel room.
Rothstein says, "If by the first inning
it isn't obvious we're gonna lose.
I will murder your wife."
And Lefty Williams was like, "I'm shook."
So game eight, Lefty goes out.
He's the starting pitcher, and he sucks.
Roll bad, like on purpose bad.
And they end up losing 10 to five, and that's it.
The World Series is over and Cincinnati has won.
People were shocked.
And then there started to be these rumors.
People are like, "Ah, it felt fixed."
And the press labels the White Sox, the Black Sox.
- [Derek] Why?
- This black mark.
It's bad forever.
(Derek chuckles)
So there's a grand jury investigation,
and Eddie Cicotte and Shoeless Joe
both break down in front of the grand jury.
And he said, "Yep, I did it.
I have a family.
I didn't make enough money."
- Is your hand okay when you do that?
Ow, don't do that.
Hey, hey, hey.
- Shoeless Joe was like, "I am Shoeless Joe Jackson.
And I'm not wearing any shoes."
(Derek laughs)
This is what led to the very first commissioner of baseball.
He had the most first name ever, Kenesaw Mountain Landis.
He comes out and he's like,
"We won't stand for no cheaters,
and so all those eight men involved
in the Black Sox Scandal, banned from baseball for life."
And so now there's no more cheaters left
in major league baseball,
except all the cheaters that existed after that.
I have no shoes on.
Boop!
Do you get it?
It's black socks.
(dramatic music)