- Well hi babes! Some of you probably already know
that I have a 16 year old brother.
This is him, he's basically my favorite person on the planet
he's up there on the list for reasons why
feminism is important to me.
Boys face a number of pressures related to their gender.
For example, pressure to be physically tall
and muscular, to push down feelings,
especially fear and pain,
to never cry or be vulnerable.
Pressure to be into sports or to have manly hobbies.
To prove yourself using violence
or intimidation to solve problems.
To prove your manhood by having lots of sex.
Learning to see women as sex objects
and struggling to have meaningful relationships with them.
Pressure to be one of the guys, to make harmless jabs
at each other meant to establish dominance.
Pressure to be the protector in a relationship,
never the protected.
To be the breadwinner, the handyman, the money manager.
To pursue physically demanding,
dangerous, or even violent jobs.
Pressure to be the leader and to always have the answers.
Is this sexism against men?
Sexism is about exclusion and unequal power in society.
It's about discrimination between individuals
that bleeds into the workplace and into the law.
It's about shaming, belittling, and devaluating the feminine.
Notice how many of the pressures that boys face
come down to defining themselves against women.
"I'm a man because I'm not emotional! Like women."
"I'm not physically small. Like women."
"I know how to throw a ball or even a punch.
"Unlike women."
So much of the pressures that boys face in the world
come down to the expectation that they not be like girls.
These gender specific pressures are a side effect of sexism.
It's one version of masculinity.
One way to be a real man that we oppose on boys
in a million subtle ways all throughout their lives.
And the effects of that are serious.
From men who are told to oppress their emotion so long
that they can't physically cry anymore.
To men who are left emotionally
stunted in their relationships.
Caring fathers who can't get custody because
nurturing is a girl thing.
Men who are raped and not believed.
A real man? A real man wants sex all the time!
He must have liked it.
Version of masculinity is also connected to homophobia.
Gay men are demonized because their stereotyped as feminine.
They like to take care of their appearance,
they like to dance, they sleep with men.
Too much like women!
It's also uncomfortable when men date men
or women date women.
Who's the "woman" in the relationship?
Who's the "man?"
How do relationships without gender roles
and gender powered dynamics even exist?!
(screams)
And, wanna go a step deeper.
it's connected to transphobia as well.
Transphobia stems from fear and insecurity
about people violating gendered norms and hierarchies.
Violence against trans women is especially common
because she's seen as a man who's lowering himself
to the level of a woman.
And all that is why feminism is like,
"Oh, hey! So this is kind of BS."
And it's actually terrible for society,
There's more than one way to be a man or a woman.
We all have a combination of feminine and masculine traits.
It's part of being human!
Let's teach boys and girls to value
equality, respect, non-violence.
Instead of power, dominance, and aggression.
Let's build a world where boys and girls
can feel, can cry when they're sad...
When we accept that emotions are part of being a human being
we teach boys and girls to manage them in healthy ways.
Where anyone can be the stay-at-home parent
and it's no thing,
Where you could choose to wear a dress or a tux
and no one cares because it's just clothes!
Where women and men can be nurturers and protectors,
nurtured and protected.
Where girls and boys can be leaders.
Where you can be strong sometimes
and weak other times, a full dynamic human--
they can't be shoved into a box and told who to be.
Obviously, the fact that women and girls face inequalities
is reason enough to stand up against sexism.
But let's not forget, that sexism also affects men and boys.
It affects gay men, lesbian women, trans folk,
everyone in between!
Understanding how these inequalities and attitudes
permeate our society and working to correct them,
is in the best interest of everyone.
Thanks for listening, babes. I'll see you next time.