- You know what the best way to solve disappointment is?
- [M Shoaib] What is that?
- Success.
The reality is is this.
There is a couple themes in there that excited me.
A, I have a very big thesis that if you are
a Jordan and Lebron fan, you also highly
are likely to be lazy.
Which you admitted in there.
- Oh my god. - Which excites the
shit out of me.
I think you need to fall in love
with the process of the grind,
versus the anxiousness of getting there.
Like the celebrating is not the fun part,
the process of getting there is.
You don't love the process.
I'm about to fuck with everybody's heads really quick here.
The reason I love people who stick with their town's teams
is the journey to finally get good
is so much more intoxicating than being good
the reality is, you've got to fall in love with the shit.
The people who never get lazy sometimes
are obsessed with the process of what they're up to.
I have never, ever gotten lazy sometimes,
because I've been addicted to everything
I've done post school.
I got lazy all the time in school, 'cause I hated it.
- So you got two major decisions, you know this.
As children of immigrants we have two major decisions,
who we love and what we choose to do.
I'll say that again, who we love, i.e. how you marry,
that's a big deal in our community, and what you do.
At 18, the majority of my American friends,
- [Gary] Yes.
- you're free to do whatever.
You're literally forced
to move out of the house. - I see, I understand.
- So those two choices - Right.
- are yours. - I understand, I understand.
- Okay? - I understand.
- We are property of our fathers.
I am property of (speaks foreign name).
You know what I mean?
It was a big fight
to be like, - Right.
- this is who I'm marrying, and this is what
I'm choosing to do.
It was a fight.
Because immigrant parents are like, no, no no,
I own you, what the fuck you talking about, you're choosing?
I own you, so you do what I want.
- I totally understand. - So this is my thing.
Your two big battles are those two battles.
Don't worry about the money, don't worry about
all that stuff, you have to do those two things
on your own terms.
And you got to air mattress it, if you really love it.
Otherwise you're a fair weather phone fan.
That's the way it's gonna, or, or actually by the way,
or it might be like that wasn't your destiny.
It wasn't really what you wanted to do anyways.
But don't get into some risk that you don't want to do.
And don't, um, pursue
engineering or whatever, because they're forcing you to.
Make all those decisions on your own terms.
Neither are better or worse.
- You know what the best way to solve disappointment is?
- [M Shoaib] What is that?
- Success.
- Right. - Like I have a funny thing,
yeah so like, but here's the funny part.
You're in the first quarter.
And you think the game's over.
It was not fun for me every time my parents disagreed.
I lived the same life!
It's the same game, just a different skin tone.
I get it.
But the reality is is like, fuck you, Dad.
Like that's real.
Now.
I highly recommend you say, "Dad, I love you
"with all my heart and I know for fact
"everything coming out of your mouth
"is what you want for me, and it's how you see it.
"But Pops, you did your shit, let me do mine.
"Let's post game this in 30 years,
"then we can judge."
You can literally win at 42 and then be like, "Told you."
You're gonna go to the wedding
and grandma and great aunt are shitting on you.
And you either hear that and say, "I can't wait
"to stick it down your fucking throat in 2029."
Or you say, "Woe is me, this blows."
I like the first one.
And I think it's an interesting debate
of how they're actually the same
and how you train yourself to think,
is an interesting thing.
28's a funny year to me.
27, 28, like I'm reading a lot of content.
This 28, 27, 29, and 30,
like this kind of interesting age group
where like people make this funny switch
when they turn 27, and think they're old,
when they're obnoxiously young.
- Right. - And I'm fascinated about--
- You want to know where that comes from?
- [Gary] Sure.
- So at 18 you leave, you have independence.
From 18 to 30, right around 30 people are getting
married and having kids. - Yeah, yeah.
- So you're entering that
window of your life, - Yeah, I get it.
- and you're like, what am I doing?
- [Gary] Yeah I get it.
- No, no. - Right.
- I'm aware. - So the seeds that I planted,
have they manifested themselves?
- [Gary] I get it.
- This is just my advice for artists.
The thing with artists is,
you do this the rest of your life.
- 100%. - That's the crazy part.
Dick Gregory was doing comedy until he died.
- [Gary] Yup!
- In his '80s. - That's right.
- That's the gift, same with film makers.
- Same with entrepreneurs. - Film, yeah.
- It's why I feel bad for athletes.
- [Co-Host] Right, right, right.
- I used to think it was the best.
Like James Harden's gonna be done at 36,
forever, the thing he was - That's true.
- meant to do.
What we don't talk about, go show me
all the brown kids, all the Russian kids
that are 60 and 80 with their parents.
I know the 60 and 80 year old relationships.
They're broken, 'cause the 60 year old
followed the 80 year old and they've got
35 years of shit relationship,
because they didn't marry that girl.
Right? - Right, right, right.
- Because they didn't try that thing.
And so I think the short-term pain of a band-aid rip,
- Yeah, yeah.
- verus cancer, that happens in the back half
of every one of these people's lives,
is an important conversation
that isn't being debated enough.
(light piano music)