Okay guys, you know it. We do our best every day to be the great husband, right?
But it's time for some new training. How to be that great husband? Coming right at
you. You know being married, it's quite a challenge to you know, really be a good
husband because you're, you're new at this. You know and every day is a new day
that you've never experienced before. But what does it really take to be a better
husband? What can you do? Well, this is a picture of my mom and dad and and my dad
taught me some great lessons. Some of them he said, but some of them he lived
through an example and I want to share with you some things here that
I've observed from my own father that has helped me. And I got to keep checking
back in on this advice that my dad gave me because it really has made a
difference because I have those days where I make my mistakes, right? You know
what I'm talking about. We try to do our best every single day but for some
reason, something falls through the cracks. So there's a checklist or a a
go-to list that I look at to be able to hold myself in a good place so that I
can be really a good husband and be a great husband. Well my dad taught me. He
says, "You know, love her no matter what. No matter what happens. No matter if she's
upset or if she's scared or the dishwasher just broke or the dog ran
away. Just no matter what happens you got to love her,
Kirk. You just got to love her." And my dad and I were riding horses that day when
he gave me this advice because I was asking him questions, "Dad, what do I do
when this happens or when this happens?" And he kept giving me the same answer.
And this is it. Love her no matter what. And I had to take and kind of ponder on
that one for a little bit and it really makes sense no matter what happens, I can
still hold the thoughts and feelings that I love her. The next one he gave me
is the, "Okay Kirk, the other one is to say I'm sorry really is manly." And I grew up
thinking you know, if you say you're sorry then that means you're admitting
fault, which means you're weak, which means you're worthless. And I had some
really twisted thinking about this until my dad straightened me out on him. He's
like, "No, you'll probably be saying I'm sorry. Probably three or five or three or
four or five or ten times the day." And at first I thought, "Dad, this is going to be
weird for me to... Am I going to really make that many mistakes?" And he goes, "Yeah. Some
of them would be mistakes. But some of them will be mistakes that she thinks
you made but it was just a misunderstanding or a miscommunication."
And so, I really have taken this on and if I get through the day and I have not
apologized for something, that's a rare day, right? Because apologies and saying
I'm sorry means that you want to realign yourself with your wife. It means you
want to get back on the same path. Be balanced with her. It doesn't mean you're
broken or wrong or you're doing everything wrong. It means you want to
keep adjusting or calibrating. You know, just like a an airline pilot and a jet.
It doesn't always stay on course. It has to keep course-correcting. And so to say
I'm sorry or apologizing is a course correction in a relationship. And I'll
tell you this, more men I meet who don't say I'm sorry or don't apologize, they
have problems. Because they think it's not manly. Number 3. My dad also
showed by an example to kiss your wife often. Not just at the end of the day
when you're saying, "Love you, good night." And not just in the morning what it's
like, "Good morning, have a good day." But to surprise her in different moments which
is little kisses. Girls love... Little girls? Ladies, wives love those little kisses.
They just love it when it's just randomly through the day. Not just one,
not just two. But as many times as you can without her finally going, "Okay,
that's enough, that's enough." You know, don't become obnoxious or
anything but kiss her. And do something nice. There's always something you can do
to help. And when we help our wives, they interpret it that they're important.
We can tell them that they're important all day long. We can say it all week long,
all month long but they actually would come back and say, "You know, I don't know
if you think I'm important or not." And it's like wait, "I told you all the time."
Women measure relationship by the duties and services and the actions that happen
not by the words that are said. And when you do something nice for her, it means
more than if you would have said it 20 times. That one took me a while to figure
that out. And so, what I do is I got to... I look what can I do that could be a nice
little gesture today? Well, what can I create? You know, carry some bags in for
her. Could I help straighten up her office? Could I help her with this or
that? Like one time, I walked in the kitchen and I said, "Hey, can I chop up the
carrots for you?" And you would have thought I just bought her a thousand
dollar gift from the jewelry store. She was just elated. And I'm thinking, "Wow,
this is not as hard as it is I'm ranking it out to be. Just to look for those nice
moments to send the big message that she's important. And the last one, tell
her when she does good. Women sometimes are pretty tough on themselves. They're
really, really tough on if they're doing good or not. And to hear from you
that they did something good, "Wow, that helps them see that you notice their
good things, you notice their actions and even if it's small things, it doesn't
have to be big things. But anything you notice that she's doing good at give her
a compliment that way. But to be specific and saying, "Wow, it's really cool how you
did this in this particular way." The more detail you share in that compliment, the
deeper that meaning goes into your wife. It makes a big difference and then, what
happens is you look like an amazing husband because you are paying such good
close attention to her. It's awesome. So, these that I'm sharing with you here
that really helped me in being a better husband. Now, you and I both know, you and
I both know that it's not a guarantee that you're going to make it through the
day be a great husband. But what it does do
is it gives us a path or a track or something to look to. And for me, if I can
keep pointing myself in the direction of following these particular steps here,
it's going to turn out well. No matter what's going on around us. No matter
what's going on. Especially number 1. Love her no matter what and really hold
on to that one no matter what. You know here at 3 key elements, my wife and I,
Kim and I. We really cherish our relationship and we really do a lot of
extras to help maintain and balance and calibrate our marriage. So, we're in a
good place and it really has paid off. Meaning that we have good relationship
with each other where our hearts are open to each other and our minds are
open to each other. But if we didn't work on it, I know we would have more
challenges. And I know we would have more difficulties but because we're so
balanced with each other, it makes a big difference. So that we can face the life
challenges together not individually but we face them together. And if you want to
learn more about what you can do to be in great relationships and how to get on
the same page, go check out our website and look up our class called Royalty and
Romance. And if you can get to Salt Lake City, it's a great event. A 3-day
event here in Salt Lake City. You can get to the event. Well, subscribe to our
YouTube channel here because we got a lot of great videos here and training
for you about relationships. Great content that's real and doable. I mean
that, that is so doable, right? And that makes a big difference. Your relationship
matters. It really does. Do something about it today.