- Hi, Jimmy.
- How you doing? - I'm good.
I secretly-- when Terry started with the pets,
I tried to do it, too, just kind of quietly--
- Yeah. - --within my body.
But-- - It hurts a little bit.
--nothing moved. Yeah, it just kind of--
I pulled something.
It's no good. How are you doing?
You haven't been here in a-- - I'm good, man.
- --very long time. - I know.
The door didn't used to go up like that.
Have you been avoiding me?
Is-- what's going on?
I've been, you know, making babies, paternity leave.
JIMMY KIMMEL: That's right. You have.
Did you get paternity leave? - I did.
I got paternity leave for about eight years.
JIMMY KIMMEL: How do you get paternity leave-- oh, I see.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Your oldest son, Jake, is how old now?
The last time I was here, Ozzy Osbourne was the other guest.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Wow.
And Jake, my 23-year-old now, was--
who still is into heavy metal-- couldn't believe--
JIMMY KIMMEL: That Ozzy was here.
--Ozzy was here.
And I remember, he wrote him a song.
And I sang it for Ozzy here.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, and did Ozzy--
And Ozzy-- yeah, he signed a thing for me.
He didn't record the song, though?
He didn't record the song.
Oh, that's a shame. [LAUGHS]
But yeah, that's the last time I was here, yeah.
Yeah.
And how old are your little ones now?
So Rocco is 2 and 1/2.
And Rafa just turned eight months.
JIMMY KIMMEL: We're in the same boat, because I have,
you know, two older-- I have a--
I just met your boy.
- Yeah, yeah, my son, Kevin. - Is that his only job?
Has he got another job?
- No, that's his only job. - That's his only job, huh?
[LAUGHTER]
Good.
It's a good job.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah, no, he's-- yeah,
he works here at the show. - Yeah, cool.
All of my relatives work here.
If this-- if this ship goes down,
we're in a lot of trouble.
He looks just like you, man.
He looks just like you.
It's amazing.
Well, how do you find the diff--
do you find it easier, more difficult, or just
different with the new set?
Well, I mean, if I have to be honest,
I find it easier, because I'm not broke.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Right.
Like, I was broke when I had Rocco--
JIMMY KIMMEL: Same here, yeah. - --I mean, uh, Jake.
I don't get their names right.
[LAUGHTER]
I always get their names wrong.
So I find that easier.
And it's funny.
Like, some things I find it to be harder because I'm older.
But then there are other things, like reading, for instance,
like, the same books, you know?
I must have read "The Grinch" 1,000 times.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Is that the biggest one?
Yeah, it's back.
Like, it's back, better than ever.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Do you only read it at Christmas time,
or do you read it--
No, no, I read it this morning.
I read it twice. [LAUGHTER]
And now the little one is getting super into it.
And I can tell, he can't wait to be Cindy Lou Who.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Do you go-- do you act it out?
Is it like a whole thing? - Oh, I act it out.
Yeah, of course I act it out. JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, you do?
OK, yeah.
Yeah, it's the only place where I can be British,
you know?
Because I do the whole, you know,
(BRITISH ACCENT) every Who down in Whoville
liked Christmas a lot.
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not.
And they're like-- they're so into the voices.
You have to have voices. You can't do the story--
JIMMY KIMMEL: You have to.
And your voices-- it sounds like you're basing them
on the TV special, are you?
From the '60s.
JIMMY KIMMEL: From the '60s, yeah.
Right, the Boris Karloff thing.
So I do that.
And then I read a little--
Shel Silverstein's very big in our house.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, is he? Yeah.
That, you need a lot of voices for Shel Silverstein,
because there's like 50 poems in "Where the Sidewalk Ends."
So you got to do all the different voices, and--
JIMMY KIMMEL: And they like the voices?
They love the voices.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh yeah, the kids like the voices.
All about the voices. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah, of course.
And now, the little one--
you know, the other day I was FaceTiming with Jake.
He's 23 now.
And I was like, dude, I'm reading "Grinch."
They love it just like you did!
And he was like, show me, show me.
And he stuck for the whole story.
He was like--
[LAUGHTER]
23 years old and so into it.
JIMMY KIMMEL: It's a classic.
And I could tell-- and he wanted
to do the Cindy Lou Who part.
And I was like, ergh--
Rocco does Cindy Lou Who now.
So Rocco gets to do--
JIMMY KIMMEL: You're going to have to have your own kids.
But Dr. Seuss, he-- that guy-- he knew what he was doing.
He was onto something. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
I think you're right.
Shel Silverstein, I'm not sure about,
because that book, "The Giving Tree--" have you read that one?
It's awesome. Oh, it's the best.
I think it's the worst.
What do you mean?
Oh, the guy wants money, right? How about that?
Well, listen, this kid abuses this tree.
- I know. - He eats all the apples.
He chops it down.
He sits on the stump.
Eventually, he just drops dead on the thing.
- I know. - It's a terrible story.
I know.
JIMMY KIMMEL: It's a story that should not be read to children.
Really? JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
Read it again and think about me when you do.
I love it. I love it.
I love it when he--
I love it when he's just a stump.
And the old man just wants a place to sit.
And the tree is, like, so excited,
because he can do something.
And so the tree straightens himself up as much as he could.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
And Rocco likes when I straighten myself up.
JIMMY KIMMEL: It's an analogy, I think,
about the way children consume their parents.
They take our lives from us.
[LAUGHTER] And I think--
Man. You're just ruining it for me.
Yeah.
That's why I'm here.
But it's the voices, man.
It's all about the voices. - The voices, yeah.
Kids love the voices.
Do you do any, like, impersonations
when you're reading?
Well, I do the British thing, because you know,
no one's ever going to hire me to be on "The Crown."
JIMMY KIMMEL: OK, yeah. Right.
So I do--
I do a lot of British voices in the house.
And he's not going to criticize me.
Like-- [JIMMY LAUGHING]
So I do that.
And if it's like a shady character--
- Would you like to-- - Would I like to do--
yeah, I would love to do "The Crown."
JIMMY KIMMEL: --a British thing? Really?
Yeah. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah, interesting.
Yeah, you get cast as, you know, largely, and Italian, right?
I mean, almost-- - Yeah, largely.
Yeah, right.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah. Yeah.
- Why do you think that is? - I don't know.
I mean, I'm about to go do a play on Broadway.
And I'm going to play a writer.
And I'm so excited, because my-- - Really?
He must have gone to college. JIMMY KIMMEL: Uh-huh.
[LAUGHTER]
So I'm very excited about that.
But I do, like--
yeah, I do my voices.
You know, I do my Nick Nolte for them whenever I'm playing,
like, a shady character. JIMMY KIMMEL: For the kids?
Really?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Do a little of that.
It's just a sound. JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, really?
Yeah. JIMMY KIMMEL: OK.
Aw, hell.
[LAUGHTER]
So I throw that in whenever I'm playing, like, a--
[APPLAUSE]
--like, a questionable character.
I make him Nick Nolte.
She doesn't know who Nick Nolte is.
JIMMY KIMMEL: No, no, it's-- kids don't--
It's all about amusing ourselves.
- Yeah, right. - Do you know what I mean?
Yes, for sure.
Because we got to kill the time.
Yeah, if you are amusing yourself,
the kids will be amused.
Well, go back and look at "The Giving
Tree," because it's no good.
I will.
Thanks for watching.
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