- LOOK, MY NAME'S SAFAREE.
I DON'T DRIVE A BM.
I DON'T WANNA BE THEM.
I DON'T WANNA SEE THEM.
BUT IT'S GOING DOWN IN THE DMS.
STRAIGHT!
- MY DMS ARE IN SHAMBLES.
I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH ANOTHER NAME FOR MY DMS
BECAUSE THIS IS WAY MORE THAN A DIRECT MESSAGE.
I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M BEING NUDELY THRASHED
BY PEOPLE'S EYES.
I FEEL LIKE WHEN I WALK IN A ROOM,
NO ONE'S LOOKIN' AT ME IN MY FORM RIGHT NOW.
FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT.
IS THIS WHAT GIRLS HAVE TO GO THROUGH?
SO I POSTED THAT I LOST MY PHONE.
SOMEONE SAID I FOUND A BLACK IPHONE LAST NIGHT.
IF THIS IS YOURS,
IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME YOU MAY HAVE IT BACK.
MY FAVORITE NUMBER IS 69.
WE SHOULD DO THAT TOGETHER.
I CAME TO SEE YOU LAST NIGHT.
I WANTED TWO THINGS.
A PICTURE
AND SEX.
WHAT THE.
THIS IS A MAN.
I'M A BOY.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SAYIN THIS TYPE OF STUFF TO ME.
YOU'RE BIG, I'M BIG TOO.
LET'S SEE WHO'S BIGGER.
YOU ARE SICK.
I WISH I PEEPED YOU WOULD BE HERE.
I WOULD PULL UP ANYWHERE YOU WERE
AND YOU.
HELL NO.
WHAT?
YOU WISH YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS SO YOU COULD WHAT?
GO SUCK YOUR MOTHER.
I DEFINITELY DID NOT LEAK MY NUDES.
I REALLY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM.
IT WASN'T ME SO IT HAD TO HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE.
BUT I HOPE THAT'S THE END OF IT.
I HOPE THERE'S NO MORE.
I HAVE TWO PHONES.
LIKE THIS IS A PHONE BUT THEN MY OTHER PHONE
IS MY MAIN MAIN PHONE THAT I HAVE HAD FOR YEARS
AND I HAVEN'T BACKED IT UP
AND THE PHONE DISAPPEARED.
I TRIED TO DO THE FIND MY IPHONE THING.
SO WHEN I DID THAT THE PHONE WAS OFF.
I'M LIKE DAMN SOMEBODY REALLY TOOK IT.
AND THEN WHEN I LANDED HERE JUST NOW THE THING BEEPED.
I'M LIKE OH THE PHONE'S ON.
SO I LOOK IT UP AND IT LOOKS LIKE
IT'S ON THE SIDE OF A HIGHWAY.
I'M LIKE OH MY GOODNESS.
THEN I GET A CALL AND SOMEBODY WAS LIKE
HEY I FOUND YOUR PHONE.
SO I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
I FOUND THE PHONE.
AND IF THIS PHONE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE WRONG HANDS,
THE THINGS THAT COULD HAVE GOTTEN LEAKED.
OH MY GOODNESS.
I'D HAVE BEEN IN SOME STUFF.
I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING THAT EVER CAME
FROM ME SLIDIN' INTO A DM,
NOTHING GOOD EVER REALLY CAME FROM IT.
SO I SAID YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME JUST STOP.
AND STOP BEING FOOLED BY THESE FACE TUNING APPS
AND THESE FILTERS
AND THINGS THAT HIDE THESE MUSTACHES
AND GOATEES THAT ARE BEIN' SMOTHERED UNDERNEATH
THINGS THAT ARE ON SOME OF THESE PEOPLE.
I WAS TALKIN' TO SOMEONE AND I'M LIKE
YO WHY YOU CAN'T FACETIME?
OH I DON'T GOT A IPHONE.
BUT THEN WHEN I SEE THEM POST PICTURES
LIKE THIS IN THE MIRROR, IT'S WITH A IPHONE.
SO I'M LIKE
YOU LYIN' SON OF A BITCH.
MY TIPS FOR SLIDIN' IN DMS ARE,
YOU JUST GOTTA BE YOURSELF.
DON'T THROW NO BALL IN THERE
AND THEN SAY HEY I LOST MY BALL IN HERE.
OR LOST MY PHONE IN HERE.
DON'T DO THAT.
YOU JUST GOTTA SAY HEY WHAT'S UP?
HOW YOU DOIN'?
I THINK YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU IF POSSIBLE.
DO YOU LOOK LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE?
WHAT NOT TO DO IN THE DMS.
DON'T THROW YOUR NUMBER OUT THERE FIRST.
DON'T ASK FOR THE NUMBER FIRST.
SOMETIMES THAT'S A LITTLE TOO PERSONAL.
YOU GOTTA CARRY A LITTLE CONVO IN THE DM.
THEN IF THEY WANT TO TAKE IT TO THAT NEXT LEVEL
YOU CAN TAKE A NUMBER AND CALL THEM
(SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
OR JUST DON'T SEEM THIRSTY.
YEAH I'VE HAD SOME PEOPLE
FROM OTHER LOVE & HIP HOPS HIT ME UP
THAT I DON'T KNOW, I NEVER REALLY KNEW LIKE THAT.
AND I KINDA SEE WHERE THEY WOULD BE YOU KNOW,
WHAT THEY WOULD WANT OR WHERE THEY WERE GOIN'.
WHAT THEY TRYING TO DO.
JUST DON'T EVEN DO IT.
DON'T EVEN WASTE YOUR TIME.
THIS DM IS
THE DEVIL.
IT REALLY IS.
IT RUINS HAPPY HOMES.
IT STARTS ARGUMENTS THAT AREN'T EVEN REAL ARGUMENTS.