>> Stephen: I'M SO EXCITED.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD JULIE ANDREWS IS
GOING TO BE HERE ON THE STAGE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOT EVEN A NATIONAL TREASURE,
SHE'S A GLOBAL TREASURE.
>> Jon: LEGEND.
>> Stephen: YOU FEEL A LITTLE BETTER WHEN YOU'RE JUST NEAR
HER.
>> Jon: YES.
>> Stephen: IT'S RADIOACTIVE GOODNESS THAT COMES OFF HER.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET SOME OF THAT.
>> Stephen: AND A TOTAL PRO.
TOTAL PRO.
JON, DID YOU HAVE A NICE WEEK OFF?
>> Jon: YEAH.
I KNEW YOU WERE IN NEW ZEALAND, I WAS IN VERMONT.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE VERY SIMILAR.
THE THING ABOUT NEW ZEALAND IS IT'S 17 HOURS AHEAD.
IT'S TOMORROW THERE.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
YOU MUST BE TIRED.
>> Stephen: I'M A LITTLE BIT NOT HERE.
I'M A LITTLE BIT TOMORROW.
I'M ALREADY WATCHING THE SHOW ON THE D.V.R.
IT WENT GREAT, BY THE WAY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: LET ME TELL YOU, SPEAKING OF GREAT, BUT SPEAK OF
GREAT, WE DIDN'T GO JUST FOR FUN.
WE WERE SHOOTING SOME PIECES DON'T THERE.
HOW LONG DO THEY HAVE TO WAIT TO SHOW?
TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OR MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE THAT BEFORE WE
SHOW.
WE'LL HAVE A WEEK OF PIECES ON NEW ZEALAND.
LET ME GIVE YOU A TASTE.
THIS IS A PHOTO ON ME RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS ME 9,000 FEET UP ON A GLACIER DRINKING MAKERS MARK OUT
OF A GLASS AND THE ICE IN THE GLASS IS FROM THE GLACIER I'M
STANDING ON RIGHT NOW AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS LIKE
THE SIXTH MOST EXCITING THING I DID WHEN I WAS DOWN THERE.
( LAUGHTER ) EXTRAORDINARY PLACE.
EXTRAORDINARY PLACE.
CAN WE DO THE SHOW FROM DOWN THERE?
CAN WE JUST MOVE THE SHOW THERE?
>> (INAUDIBLE).
>> Stephen: YOU ARE LYING TO ME.
OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE BEEN HEARING MORE FROM ONE
OF TRUMP'S MOST VOCAL CRITICS, UTAH SENATOR MITT ROMNEY, SEEN
HERE INDICATING THE NUMBER OF BLACK PEOPLE HE'S MET IN HIS
LIFE.
OVER THE WEEKEND, ROMNEY WAS PROFILED IN AN "ATLANTIC"
ARTICLE TITLED, "THE LIBERATION OF MITT ROMNEY."
WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS LIKE A MID-SEVENTIES EROTIC NOVELLA,
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT ROMNEY'S ROLE AS A CRITIC OF TRUMP-- WITH
ONE BIG REVEAL, THAT HE USES A SECRET TWITTER ACCOUNT, SAYING,
"I WON'T GIVE YOU THE NAME OF IT, BUT I'M FOLLOWING 668
PEOPLE."
HE RECITED SOME OF THE ACCOUNTS HE FOLLOWS, INCLUDING LATE-NIGHT
COMEDIANS, "WHAT'S HIS NAME, THE BIG REDHEAD FROM BOSTON?"
( LAUGHTER ) BIG REDHEAD FROM BOSTON?
HE HAS A NAME, SIR.
IT'S GINGER O'PALE-BODY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND HE'S A FRIEND!
HE'S A FRIEND!
USING THESE CLUES, A JOURNALIST FROM "SLATE" GOT THE SCOOP OF
THE LATE-AFTERNOON WHEN SHE DISCOVERED ROMNEY'S SECRET
TWITTER HANDLE "PIERRE DELECTO."
( LAUGHTER ) YES!
PIERRE DELECTO!
IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING FROM FRENCH-CANADIAN SOFT-CORE PORN.
(AS WOMAN) "BUT DR. DELECTO, I DON'T HAVE
ANY WAY TO PAY FOR THIS CHECK-UP!"
(AS DELECTO, FRENCH) "THAT'S OKAY.
WE HAVE THE SOCIALIZED MEDICINE.
NOW, WE MAKE THE SEX, OUI?" ( LAUGHTER )
MY APOLOGIES TO OUR NEIGHBORS TO THE NORTH.
THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING REVEAL SINCE WE FOUND OUT
LINDSEY GRAHAM'S SECRET TWITTER NAME IS "WOLFGANG SCRUMPTIOUS."
( LAUGHTER ) AND WE KNOW THIS IS ALL TRUE
BECAUSE ROMNEY CONFIRMED IT.
WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE DELECTO ACCOUNT, HE RESPONDED, "C'EST
MOI."
( LAUGHTER ) YES!
"C'EST MOI," HE SAID, SWIRLING A SNIFTER OF
VINTAGE 2009 RICE PUDDING.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH
PIERRE, BECAUSE TURNS OUT, CONAN'S NOT THE ONLY LATE NIGHT
HOST HE FOLLOWS-- HE ALSO LIKES JIMMY KIMMEL, AND JIMMY FALLON.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GET IT.
AND I'M PROUD TO LAUNCH OUR NEW AD CAMPAIGN: "JIMMY KIMMEL AND
JIMMY FALLON: THE CHOICE OF MITT ROMNEY.
WATCH 'THE LATE SHOW,' ONLY CBS!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JULIE
ANDREWS!