Heya playas, when we think of romance, we always act like it's so hard to emulate. And
some of us tend to view romance as purely sexual which poses a problem because it creates
a very linear way to look at it. Well today I'm gonna share with you 5 ways to be romantic
and sexual without having to have full on sex with your partner. This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks. Some people view this conversation as being a little too
controversial for younger people but I'd rather them be prepared than be very misguided and
confused later on growing up. Number 1, learn how to give a good massage. multiple studies
show that couples that engage in touching one another more usually end up happy. You
don't need to be an expert on how to configure every single muscle but simply putting your
hands on your partners body, or putting your arms around their shoulder or even grabbing
their hand will trigger those endorphins that will make them feel a lot more connected to
you. I recently received this water-based intimate lubricant from Hello Cheri, if you
guys don't know who they're a company focused on building a more sexual and sensual atmosphere
for you and your partner in the bed. They sell plenty of stones, candles and oils which
are perfect for giving a massage to your partner so check their link out in the description
below. Number 2, surprise your partner with a simple romantic settings. I think where
most people trip up is not that they don't want to do it, it's that they don't know what
to do. You can always set up a warm bath and sprinkle some flower petals in there, or you
can just play some soft gentle music, and light some candles while the two of you have
dinner. Creating a mood is sometimes more about effort than it is about execution. By
making a normal event special, your partner is going to recognize that you've gone out
of your way just to do it for them. Another technique that I've used a lot is leaving
little pieces of paper all over the house with little messages that say "I love you"
or "I miss you". Realistically, how much time does it take to rip off a piece of paper,
write a message and just stick it somewhere? Trust me, when your partner finds it, it's
gonna make their day. Number 3, be a good listener. We all work hard each and every
day and sometimes you just want to have someone that you can talk to. Having a partner that
can understand your craziness and bring you back to a soft state of calm being is invaluable.
For some guys, that may mean sacrificing this idea that you need to find a logical solution
for everything that your partner says. And for some girls, that may mean recognizing
that he's tired and nagging him over things is only going to put more pressure on him.
Good listening is knowing when to step in and asking questions that will allow your
partner to open up. But, complaining to your partner all the time can make them feel like
they have to walk on eggshells, so that they never piss you off or do anything wrong. Being
a good listener requires you to stand by your partners side even when they're broadcasting
their anger at you. Number 4, be a leader and make decisions because there's nothing
less romantic than when a person says "I don't know, what do you want to do?". When it comes
to you planning something, your partner wants to know that they can take a step back and
relax because you have it all under control. There will be plenty of times where the two
of you have to work together to decide something, but having your partner step up and take leadership
can be very comforting. And it's when the leadership role becomes expected that the
romance begins to die. Take for example a case where a girl wants a guy to always pick
where they eat or a guy wants a girl to always cook for him. It's a really good habit to
get into when you can switch things up and surprise your partner sometimes. And Number
5, I know I said these weren't about sex but gain a strong understanding of what your partner
likes sexually. Some people don't like going down on others, some don't like to have the
lights on, hell, some people even like to wear costumes. Whatever you and your partner
are into, make sure both of you are open about that type of communication. Plus you'll gain
plenty of romance points if you're willing to experiment and find out what truly pleases
your partner. There an amazing book on this topic called She Comes First by Ian Kerner.
Basically what it talks about is how a guy can learn to focus his initial sexual tension
on a girl so he can bring her to the same heightened sexual desire state that he's in.
I got this book as well from Hello Cheri, they're really have an amazing selection of
books on sexual compatibility for partners, so you should definitely check it out.I'll
put the link in the description below. What do you guys think though, what are some of
things that you've done to try and add romance into your relationship? Leave your comments
below so we can talk about it. Romance is more than just being sexual, there's a real
deep component of love, tenderness and care that truly makes it work. If you want your
partner to be more loving, then don't think you just have to be more sexual for them to
act that way. Sometimes all it takes is leading by example, be romantic and pretty soon, they
will be too. As always guys, love and peace. Hey thanks for watching. If you're new to
the channel make sure to hit the subscribe button below. I make a new video every Tuesday
on a range of different topics including self help, dating, philosophy and more. Plus, if
you want exclusive tips that I don't share in my videos, make sure to sign up for The
Josh Speaks newsletter. The link will be in the description below. Huge shoutout to Hello
Cheri for this amazing bag of goodies and a shout out to IanAntonioBurke who traveled
to Spain and Portugal when he was 9 years old and has already been to 35 US states.
That's a lot of states.
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