- Dude, this is just when this movie starts getting good.
So I've been talking to a lot of people
who interestingly are dealing with a lot of the same issues.
Basically what it is, is people get stuck.
People have stuff they wanna do
and then they get stuck and they don't do it.
And it's like, what's going on?
I think a lot of it comes down to vision.
I think a lot of it comes down to being able
to articulate what it is exactly they wanna do.
And a lot of it comes from people who are intuitive.
The intuitive types, INFJs, INFPs, et cetera,
they have this issue where it's like,
they get something lost in the translation
between brain and world.
So we're gonna talk about that.
A little bit of a heart to heart today
on this Wild Card Wednesday.
So before we get into that,
this month, later this month, October 24-25,
is NF Connect LIVE,
which is a live event, a live workshop.
So the workshops I'm gonna be leading during this event,
it's all about connection, NF Connect.
How can the NF types connect with these different things?
So connect with your ideal partner.
At first it's about connecting with yourself,
figuring out what am I all about,
and what do I need in a partner,
and then how do I make that happen?
That's one workshop I'm doing.
Then, one is connecting with your message
that you have for the world.
So, through me doing YouTube I've discovered,
it was something I didn't even really realize
even though I was doing it,
I was like, "I have a message to get out to people."
And everyone has some kind of message
and you need to be able to express it
and get it out into the world because the world needs it.
The other workshop I'm doing is connecting with your vision.
And that's the thing I see people struggling with the most.
It's like they have a vision, an intuitive vision,
what they want for their life,
but then it's like connecting with it, making it a reality,
that's the stumbling block.
So NF Connect LIVE,
if you go to infj.me/event you can sign up for it.
Get your ticket.
The early bird pricing ends Friday.
infj.me/event.
But I just see so many people where it's like,
they know what they wanna do.
And it might not even be fully articulated,
but they're like,
"I know I'm supposed to be doing something like this,
"but I just get tripped up."
And sometimes when I hear people articulating it,
like they explain it to me,
and then they explain sort of why
they can't do it in the same sentence,
and I'm like, "I don't really follow what's going on here."
It takes a lot of decoding to see what's happening.
A lot of times it's fear.
A lot of times it's just not having put
step-by-step in the real world,
what we're talking about,
what they wanna do.
A lot of it is just getting bogged down by other stuff
and not thinking that they really have the time or ability.
A lot of it is self doubt.
When it comes to NF types in general,
the way that they communicate
is really difficult to understand.
I mean, if you're an NF type
it's easier to understand other NF types
but still you, like when you hear it,
it's like, what?
Whenever you hear someone talking and you're sort of like,
I sort of get what they meant
but if I really think about it,
I don't know what they meant.
(chuckles)
You're probably listening to an NF type
because it's all about the intuition,
which is like intuition if you really dumb it down,
it's just guessing.
Just guessing at stuff,
guessing at the connections between things, you know.
Looking at things in this more fuzzy abstract way
that it's all kind of like this, you know?
And then you add the feeling with it
and then it doesn't even make sense.
It's all about like how stuff feels,
what people feel about it,
is it good, do people like it,
at least the NT types,
even though they're talking intuitively
and it's like, "What?"
At least there's some logic to it.
It's like, "Oh, okay. I kind of follow you."
With the NFs, it's like, no logic, no reality.
Just like what are we talking about?
So that's why the NF type struggle
so much to articulate their vision
because it's just like they see it so clearly in their mind
but that thing that they see is this intuitive vision
that is not really based in concrete reality.
And it is reality, but it's not concrete reality.
It's behind the concrete reality.
It's sort of like filling in the blanks
of where the concrete reality in the real world should be.
Which is why it kind of makes sense
but when you really think about it, it doesn't.
Sort of like this video.
All right, now I know it's Wild Card Wednesday,
but let's stop briefly and see if YouTube
would like to show a commercial.
Thank you for sitting through that.
Let's get back to our fireside chat.
But the NF types,
the issue is that to make your vision happen,
to make it a reality, to have these things in your mind,
that, you know, you want your life to actually be.
There's a few steps,
first of all, you have to learn to articulate
what your vision is.
Write it down,
get it out into the real world.
A lot of times, I think when people
are explaining to me what their vision is,
it's like the first time that they've ever really tried
to explain it to someone else.
And it's good to try to do that
because it forces you to bring some objective reality to it.
If you force yourself to have to make sense to someone else
then you're gonna get a little bit closer
to making it a reality.
And I know what it feels like
when you're explaining things to other people,
because the first there's like the fear
that they're gonna shoot it down.
And then there's just the fear
that they're going to make you clarify yourself,
which is then like,
"Oh, I don't wanna clarify myself."
I don't wanna take...
'Cause it's like,
"I have this lofty vision and whatever."
And now you want me to...
For example, it's like,
"Oh, I have this lofty vision for this novel I wanna write
"but now you're gonna ask me about like
"how the plot twist works?
"Come on. I don't wanna have to do that."
But if you want it to be reality, you have to do that.
Oh, I have this vision about me living in, you know,
Alaska in the wilderness.
But then this person's gonna ask me detailed questions
about like, "How are you gonna get there?
"How are you gonna afford a plane ticket?
"You don't have a job."
Don't rain on my parade, man.
Like those are kind of obvious stupid examples
but just bringing up these sensory like real examples
that will put a stumbling block in your way,
because it's like,
"I didn't think about that."
Because intuition is always skipping over stuff.
Intuition is looking at the finished novel
and like what it means,
before it's even thinking about like,
"How am I gonna write the sentence, you know,
"What characters do I need?"
This is not really concerned with that.
It's like skipping over things.
It may have the highlights but that's about it.
So articulating it and articulating it to someone else.
That's very important.
And it's gonna feel bad.
'Cause they're gonna ask you questions
and they're gonna ask...
They're gonna say stuff.
Don't make sense.
Don't make no sense.
Why do you think that's a good idea?
And they could be right.
That's the worst part is that you...
And that's why people don't wanna talk
to other people about what they really want,
what their vision truly is.
It's because they're like someone else is gonna ruin it.
And rather than try to move past that
when someone knocks a leg out from their vision,
their dream, what they wanna do,
no matter how big or how small it is.
Once someone knocks out a leg from it
the initial instinct is to retreat and be like,
"Okay, I'm bringing that idea back inside me
"and I'm not going to let it out again."
Or "I've got to really think over this a lot
"before I let anyone else hear about it again."
Rather than continuing to move forward
and try to work through it and be like,
"Okay, how can I keep this in reality?"
So once you articulate it to someone else,
then you have to take the small,
stupid, detailed steps towards it.
And I think sometimes
people are in a way afraid of success.
Like the NF types.
They're so idealistic that they are afraid
of succeeding because they think that even if they succeed,
it won't be as good as what they think in their mind.
If you have an idea for a novel,
you don't wanna write it
because you know once you finish it,
even if you sold it to a publisher
it's not gonna be this awesome thing in your mind
when it's in reality.
Like it takes some courage to put it out there.
It takes some courage to let your vision be torn apart
and to become reality, to become ugly,
awful, you know, imperfect reality.
The reason that intuitive visions are so perfect
is because they skip over so much crap.
They skip over all the imperfections.
It's easy to be perfect
when it's just like this cloud kind of thing, you know.
It's easy to be perfect when it's this nebulous idea
that doesn't have any real, shape or form
and only has a few bullet points.
So all the NF types are gonna have this difficulty
of bringing their vision to reality
but it's something you gotta do
because I see so many people
who just seem like they're right on the other side of it.
Like, it's just like a piece of glass in between them
and their vision, their dream.
And they're just like,
"I just can't figure out how to make it work."
And it's like,
Yeah, I know. I know that feeling.
It feels impossible because you can't make the dream work
as it is in your mind as this perfect thing.
You've got to birth it and in doing so,
it becomes this less than perfect thing.
It's like when you first have a baby
or before the baby is born,
it's like this perfect idea of a human.
Then once the baby's born and starts to become a human being
and turns into, you know, ding-dong adult like me,
then it's like, "Oh, I'm not so perfect anymore."
That's tough.
It's gotta be tough as a parent to watch,
you know, this perfect thing,
that's all potential become reality but you have to
because a baby, as cute as it is, is useless, you know?
Not to be harsh,
but babies become useful and meaningful
and you know, can have impact on the world
once they become adults who are imperfect,
who have gone through some stuff.
Same way your vision is like,
yeah, it's perfect up here.
Once you birth it, it's not gonna be as good, as good,
but it will then be real.
And it will have potential for impact on others.
And other people will think
it's a lot better than you think it is
because they didn't see it when it was up here.
They see it when your vision has come to fruition.
But yeah, your vision, you've got one.
Find it.
Till next time.
Stay cool and attractive.