Well hello and happy Valentine's Day everybody.
Today I'm going to be helping Kwaku pick up the ladies for Valentine's Day.
I have some scientifically verified, Book of Mormon pickup lines.
Yeah
That I'm going to shoot past to Rachel here.
Alright Kwaku, now I have some B.O.M.
and I mean B.O.M. pickup lines for ya.
As in B.O.M. Book of Mormon. -- Oh it already started.
If you're like me and you haven't had a Valentine's date since George Bush was president,
you must be pretty desperate to get a date this upcoming Valentine's Day.
I've already lost it!
This is the first time I'm testing them with anybody
Alright, I promise these are, these are super, super effective
and they will work and you will get some dates.
Like this one for example.
So you know, we swipe, we match on mutual then I text her this,
"Hey girl are you the land bountiful cause you look like my honey"
OH NO!
That's a surefire pickup line.
"Hey girl I think we would make goodly parents."
All right, a little, coming on strong you know.
You think that's too strong?
It's fine it, it works for some people
Hey I'm married man.
It worked for you -- you should trust my advice
How about this one Rachel,
"Are you a Gadianton Robber, -- Oh no, I know where this one is going. -- "Because you've unlocked the secret combination to my heart"
That's a good one -- YEAH!
YES!
Nailed it, Nailed it!
Alright.
"Like Laman and Lemuel, my heart murmurs for you".
You ever you ever have a little heart murmur?
When you see a really really beautiful girl?
No?
That was a double pun.
That was a medical pun and a scriptural pun, which is hard to come up with.
That's right!
"Rachel are you the Isaiah chapters in Second Nephi?
"Cuz I'm totally stuck on you. '
Here's one, how about this one?
"Abinadi to meet you my whole life."
All right, okay
That's a winner right there, that's a winner, that's a winner
"So Rachel, you must be the Liahona because your workmanship is exceeding fine."
No it doesn't work? You sure?
It's funny, it's a little creepy.
Just a little
Borderline creepy,
OH!
Or how about this,
"Hey girl you could Helaman with your love."
Stupid.
Helaman with your love, okay, alright.
Maybe we should talk about like
at what point you should read these to someone
are we talking first date
Yeah, I'm thinking icebreakers on the first date, I'm thinking you know I match with a girl on mutual
and this is the first text I send her or the first message I send her.
"Don't worry I'm not Ammoron."
Am-moron
Is that it, that's the whole thing?
You see you're going to need that one after you've tried a few of these.
I think, I think these,
maybe, maybe if you want to have a date by Valentines
Maybe I'll just have these for now
No well, so fun fact Neal, I've actually read these online before
Oh really?
And actually have used them and they all failed
Just forget about it
you know
I put all that work into it, but
I don't want this to be awkward but, can be hug or shake hands what's, what's the best way to
This is the most awkward hug I've ever had
Alright, thanks Kwaku for joining us for these excellent pickup lines
I'm sure you'll use them this Valentine's Day and forever
I should probably mention that, are you saying,
are you saying I'm not going to ever get married, is that what you're saying?
There's, there's a good chance
If I use these maybe