how to talk to a narcissist
narcissism and codependency
hi beautiful YouTube found at least a reminder to break through life coach and
today I want to talk
about I want to give you guys some tips on how to deal with and how to talk to a
narcissist because we need coping skills when it comes to people who are
narcissistic because they will run circles around our very kind and
pathetic co-dependent mines the first thing I want to do is acknowledge my
friend happy here acknowledge him 11 idea of the day
Cappy for those of you don't know cathy story we grew up together and happy she
was so white and in this picture we were on our trip to Puerto Rico and if it
wasn't for Kathy's light it wasn't for Kathy being so vivacious I would have
never ever taken a trip as a 9000 pro and college was too afraid now these
kids are they can't call it 16 or whatever but back then you know he
graduated 1983 you know kathy was way out ahead you know although she was
someone who struggle with feeling worthy she was overweight and validation was
terrible she actually passed away at 37 from an aneurysm and other night when I
was standing at Kathy's coffin I made a promise to her that I was going to live
for the both of us and I believe that I'm doing that and so I know Kathy would
be proud of me
and she would be very very proud of coping skills that have come up with
that helped you and your sis because certainly she had to struggle with a
narcissistic to in her life so you know what's this
let me just have a couple into the share with you so the old rules that we're
trying to break our that when we were around narcissist we were very
vulnerable so we lack boundaries and we cared about other people's reality of us
ok those the old rules we will deal writing here
ok they could we were unconscious that when we were in conversation with the
nurses we were actually seeking their approval but we're unconscious of it and
so I found a way that if I just tweaked the old rules and created new rules that
were in opposition to the old rules I could really do with the Northeast is
pretty effectively gonna share those those ideas with you so today I
absolutely have to discern first off that I'm actually dealing with the
Narcissus no that's not judgment calling someone a page a hole into the work
force on a table in the middle name is judging them but discerning what type of
vibration they have is just this place your compass that's all you're not
judging anyone so you're in a room full of people are you meet some new friends
or friends of friends and usually you know is that this one friend in the
group that is very careful about the way she loves and is trying to whatever else
is made
isn't she's so gorgeous and all this is she so she's so fine and she knows it
she's really not asking anybody else about their day it's all about what she
want where she wants to go far she wants to hang out in what guy is talking to
her or whatever so you getting the vibe that and my nose is running forgive me
so you're getting the vibe that this is someone who can't see you you're just
turning that deal when you're not saying she's a biatch is she this she's so this
is just discerning using your compass and every human being is born with a
compass and I mean how do you think you know birds and over migrated to the self
they have a compass and I think it's in there I am Not sure don't quote me on
that but I'm pretty sure that that birds that compass that they used to navigate
is in there I which is fabulous
could use more research on that to find out so I know that you have a compass ok
codependency and narcissism
narcissistic abuse
healing codependents
lisa a romano
healing from narcissistic abuse
because you came from a dysfunctional your ability to tune into that compass
has been corrupted because you've been talked to feel your feelings you've been
thought you can talk to fear turning within so this coaching this coach is
all about helping you learn hatch in back into yourself so I write my books
and my coaching program for those of you who want to invest in that you don't
have to but those of you who can and we should do so it will accelerate your bro
but this is really the promise of my coaching so when you're dealing with the
narcissism you decided onassis's dear ones you cannot be vulnerable you have
to know so know that when you're around the narcissist make the decision to not
go do you do not share your feelings the other thing that I do is I suggest that
you hold on to all personal information so narcissistic tasking you you know
information
is over the line that is outside the weather don't go there the other thing
that I suggest is that you protect your personal reality of them so you don't
want to tell them what you think of them the minute you tell a narcissist I think
it'd be a file in my batteries they will attack you they'd like piranhas and
because you think about you that's going to set your mind into a tizzy lot of
times we offer personal information to a narcissist because we're seeking their
approval and unconsciously they know it that is the dynamic that's the invisible
dancer do so it's really really important that you go knowing not given
the first call formation not allowing myself to be vulnerable and then let me
ask you how are you it's your job to one even if your life sucks and the moment
to say it lost five pounds you know I you know I hit a little bit on the
lottery and you know my kids are really doing great you know my daughter just
got a scholarship offer narcissists are so blown away when they're talking to
you and I expect you like to suck and you tell them everything is great now of
course you're like my not be great but in on that 601 out there might say all
this you're not being authentic well you can't be like that with a narcissist you
can be and you better learn how not to be because if your authentic with the
narcissist who is disingenuous didn't shop via so you need so you need some
coping skills and for those of you who disagree with me you have you're
entitled true but for those of you who are struggling every day you know to go
to the workplace and there's a girl thats a narcissistic she's pushing
around I can guarantee almost guarantee you work with me and it works of my
finds it difficult with 10 11 12 narcissus comes up to you and says hey
where'd you get those shoes I can remember hey where'd you get that dress
you know what it was a gift
hey I bet you didn't buy that pop up book because it's an expensive
pocketbook you say well actually no my boyfriend one for me and as a matter of
that he bought me 30303 Vuitton bags and all the nurses will know what to do the
North's is always trying to tweak UN gaslight you when you go with the shield
I'm not going to be vulnerable not giving their personal information not
care about what they think about me I'm gonna care about what I think about them
notices out here you're not allowed to come in here so you have to have a very
clearly defined boundaries and the gold the narcissistic keep them out here
ok we also have to maintain our focus on how we feel so I suggest also that if
you have to deal with the narcissist itself will hope people can but it works
even if it's just remember your brain believes you so if you go into a
situation and use within our services and you say I'm gonna wear a zip up and
that's going to protect my heart chakra from this narcissus your brain will
believe that you will feel stronger because your brain believes that carry
pistols in your pocket if your brain believes these crystals are gonna keep
me centered and balanced and the narcissist is going to be less able to
knock down and do it your brain will believe you and you will feel empowered
by that remember all the patterns of fear stored in the middle of just what I
call the child's brain to the war you act on ideas that empower you the more
you shifted the amygdala and into a higher mind if you who are empowered
analysis is basically a bully and when you learn how to protect yourself and
what you learn coping skills to protect yourself
narcissist can't play with so another thing I like to do when night creep like
to practice cuz I believe paula jones' and will break down how are you doing
are you doing great over there I mean I flooded the basement
you know the kids could be pulling my hair out they could be fighting on town
because if I open myself up and said well it could you give me a hard time
I'm gonna hear something negative like well you told you should have put them
in line
long time ago well maybe you should divorce her father so why not do it so
every time you talked with nurses remember to try to come off like
everything's fine because the minute you left them in their gonna find a way to
seeing you gotta find a way to Gaslight you another technique technique that I
do and for those of you out of the office of Queens thing or what but I
grew up in Queens we used to say I'm rubber and you're glue whatever you say
bounces off me and sticks are new and I use that with nurses so when a
narcissist throws an emotion at me what I do is I throw it right back so if I
ask this is an office assistant how are you doing and I said everything's great
and they and I see how are you doing are replayed a message back to them and they
say oh you know I hurt my ankle I go oh that sounds terrible that must be really
terrible well you must be really frustrated and I just keep the emotion I
keep the focus on the North assist because the narcissist is trying looking
for a crack to get the focus not to me and i dont give it to them so dear
brother really hope that this is a lie can you please let me know you can leave
the comments below the last thing I want to say though is keep in mind that you
know if you're not a huge co-dependent
attached for trauma and even though you're dealing with the Narcissus what
yall doin conversations unconsciously is open yourself up and be vulnerable and
hope maybe this time my mother will see me or maybe this time my dad will see me
or maybe this time my husband will see me it's because as a co-dependent were
looking to feel seen but when you're married to a narcissist or your mother's
a narcissist here follows North Sister Sister your co-worker your husband your
your your employer whatever when you're dealing with the true narcissus their
agenda is to not see you really have to come into line with that truth and
become resistant to that while you were in resistance to that fact you stop when
I was sure I was suffering the most when I was pissed off that I have a
conversation people in my face
family and they didn't hear me they replayed some message I didn't say what
I didn't say that that will happen and I was so I was so in resistance to the
idea that they were in here in the message it when I farm and moved into ok
I'm gonna stop resisting the fact that they can hear me I'm gonna stop
resisting that they see me as a bitch stop resisting their judgment of me I
have no control over the judgment of me and I'm choosing United co-dependent
because of a child of God child the creator and anyone and so I'm gonna
allow them and I talked about this in my coaching program also allow others to
stand in judgment of me I'm just going to allow it because I have nothing to
prove to myself and it is so if you're involved the narcissist yourself free
but you will suffer less when you become known resistant to the fact that you're
dealing with a narcissus and you learn the tools that you need to protect
yourself moving forward and that is my hope you won because if you can protect
yourself moving forward what's going to happen is you don't feel more energy
I'll be your gonna connect the light within you and then the world changes
and you can go out and say yeah whatever he's a narcissist don't pay attention to
ya ok well sorry feel that way you can grow in love like you keep spreading
your gonna be impossible for you not to share your love life and you teach your
children to look ahead to turn the cheek walkway and will go towards the light
towards the white so do you want I hope this isn't far do and please leave me
coaching for narcissistic abuse
some comments alone if you want to know more about what you program actual I
will have the link to my coaching in the child description so now say dear ones
healing codependency
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