[Music]
i've been
got it john i've been stripped of every
morsel of pleasure i
earned in this life
action
[Music]
oh hello you i'm filming television's
moira rose
won't you join me for a little stroll
through the slice of paradise
i like to call the town where i
currently
am children keep an eye on these bags
apparently in hell there's no
bellman what the hell happened here
we've been robbed
right now some local is pawning my
earrings for crank
moira oh no i just finally cried myself
to sleep the bed's soaking wet
is it blood no there's a there's a leak
in the ceiling there's a brown
disgusting drip i shall bathe
and if i bang my head and slip beneath
the surface
so be it mr rose
good riddance is what they said
uh who said that sweetheart i don't know
they're no name commenters
tormentors are we having a bad day honey
that'd be fine
thank you i'm afraid i don't have a
gratuity right now
moira alexis i don't know which david i
want
i need to speak with our daughter good
luck
oh my god where did you hear that
what is it do you not know my middle
name of course i do
i blessed you with it okay so um then
what name should i put down then
something rose i don't care what others
say that's today's mantra
that's awesome oh john go find a towel
now please or i will strip
out of this robe and i will air dry
in the street we understand you have
found
some local friends with whom to spend
time oh my god a po dunk baby out of
wedlock is not
something your father and i can afford
to negotiate at this moment
moira i have to ask you are those weeks
real hair
i just want to reach out please don't no
maureen does not like to be manhandled
are you drunk grass too much grass
a little bit hey track that cycle missy
okay my bag it's gone what bag
a brown bag what brown bear you had a
room full of brown bags back home which
brown bag
crocodile back to what my mother gave me
it's in the closet next to my briefcase
that's an ostrich bag
okay calm down oh next step is to fold
in the
cheese what does that mean what does
fold in the cheese mean
he folds it in i i understand that but
how how do you fold it do you fold it in
half like a piece of paper and drop it
in the pot or what do you do
david i cannot show you everything okay
well can you show me one thing
alexis please dear alexis hasn't been
here for a week and a half she's at
mutts
well that's simply not true i had
breakfast with her
just yesterday that was me we had a
lengthy conversation about hosiery and
menopause
again that was me
chef
[Music]
david i have an urgent campaign related
question
i am approachable
is that a question yes the question is
i am approachable well i'm sorry
i felt very conflicted about the whole
thing of course you were
now will you be a doll and fetch mommy a
knife
a knife oh i'm sorry i think you'll find
one lodged in the middle of my back
the top 11 photographs of moira rose
with future
murder suspects well that's not what i'm
looking for
you don't understand we must find them
so we can get rid of them
honestly can no one find nude photos of
me on the internet
john john john do you have any idea what
a terrible night's sleep does to one's
face we've we've struggled with penury
for quite some time now just two years
ago we were practically ownerless
where are you two from you know i've
been wondering
that myself i'm from london i was one of
two identical twins
tragically i was snatched from my crib
at birth
by russian mobsters you can't put a
price on dignity
uh tell that to your outfit this is your
outfit
what i was served by an intimidating
woman at the front desk
with an unrecognizable accent
and scary-looking attire
and what might this have to do with me
do i have a fever though i don't know
can you see
i think you have to do without the
tissue i'm sorry david
i know where else to turn it's probably
nothing but i think i've killed a man
okay why don't then you guess stay in
your room it'll take a day just to
re-box your mother's wigs
oh my god can you imagine not one of you
is trained you know what i'd love
a tea we don't sell tea
um you know i was gonna go uh make a run
to the cafe i could get you a tea if you
want no that's not necessary how
serendipitous
thank you peter it's patrick i wasn't
gossiping
it was just that you brought it up so i
just wanted to clarify those
gossip is the devil's telephone best you
just hang up
if lunch is cancelled i suppose i'll
show up on time for jazzagal's rehearsal
isn't that something you should be doing
anyway well there's so much time wasted
off touch on yeah yeah yeah don't read
me and lip buzzing till i'm blue in the
face
hey can i talk to you for a sec oh
always
just not now i'm afraid you have to
secure us another venue okay well can't
you do it
no alas your co-chair will be busy
getting herself out of jury duty today
hi where are you i'm on my way we've
just encountered a bit of a roadblock
a hold up a minor issue can you just
like please try to hurry up because the
last thing we want to do is stand up a
room full of symbols
oh look jocelyn's pulling up to the
hospital right now wait jocelyn's
driving
yes alex says she insisted my nerves are
fried
jocelyn moyrak you're back
did you just let yourself in i have been
knocking on your door
since the beginning of time although now
that i'm standing here it's equally
possible i didn't knock at all
suppose we'll never know will win do you
think it might be too much of an
imposition to ask the chef to whip me up
but kefla there's a little piece of
press
you might want to read oh if i've died
again i swear to god
3 700 what designer gave you that kind
of discount
sadly it's not custom this time around
alexis mommy had to shop off the rack
the barrel here i think that we should
bring alexis in jabberwocky there are
still stones left unturned
view but this production will mark my
directorial debut
hmm
[Applause]
i'm just telling you right now because i
know that none of you can keep a secret
oh at 9am it's a little early for
character assassination
there's a good reason i've avoided these
conventions in the past
showing up taking your picture with a
motley crew of pale
dewy face salamander people i haven't
hit rock bottom quite yet
stevie either a flock of poultry is
delivered it's over mid-flight upon our
car
or i've become the victim of a
vandalization
i could give you this bucket of soap no
you never tamper with the crime scene
there is a dark side to mommy's industry
and i've tried to protect you from it
your whole life
you took me to the playboy mansion when
i was seven and you had a wonderful time
in the children's grotto
well don't look at me i'm pretty sure
she already knows it's a mistake no i'll
talk to her
yes i'll tell her she has no right to
lay this financial and
psychological burden on us well
maybe i'll talk to her now she has to
move into one of those homes for
unwed mothers oh my god imagine moira
that's not gonna happen oh i'm sure
there are plenty of them on this side of
the tracks
so why wait book your vacation now to
this humble little oasis
if heaven had a creek it would be this
[Music]
one
women aren't funny your wife must have a
sense of humor
she's seen you naked oh
drop my cucumber do i call you or do i
just commit a crime
probably committing a crime would get me
to you quicker this is me my most
inviting
thank you and good night