- (dude) My favorite part was when the attractive drunk people
yelled at each other.
- (Ian) SHUT UP!!!
- (on TV) Next up on Married at First Sight,
we see if Carl and Jenny can fall in love
after only meeting for 42 seconds
in the middle of a hailstorm.
- (sighs) These people are so inspiring.
The way they just throw caution into the wind
and follow their passions, it's so brave.
- Are you kidding me?
No one would actually get married that quickly in real life.
They have to heighten everything
so people will actually watch this garbage.
Can you imagine how boring it would be
if reality TV was actually realistic?
♪ (chipper music) ♪
(silence)
- So you wanna get some coffee?
- Sure.
(silence)
♪ (chipper music) ♪
- I have a real medical problem and I need help!
Stop trying to profit off my disability!!!
- Uh, yeah, can you say that last line a little louder next time?
We couldn't hear you behind your disgusting pile of garbage.
Thaaaaanks.
♪ (chipper music) ♪
- Do you know what day it is?
- One of our annivers--?
Birth...days?
- Which one?
- The pretty one.
- (giggling)
- (all) Thanks, babe!
- Wait! Which one of us is the pretty one?
- (gasps)
- Sorry, I gotta get to another marriage. Bye!
♪ (chipper music) ♪
- You're a catfish?!
But online you said you were a salmon!
YOU LIAR!!!
(splash)
♪ (chipper music) ♪
- (all) ♪ Now watch me wife ♪
♪ Now watch me no-no ♪
♪ (chipper music) ♪
♪ (muzak) ♪
♪ (dramatic chord) ♪
♪ (chipper music) ♪
(texting)
(phone bloops)
(texting)
(phone bloops)
(texting)
- Okay, people.
The token black gay guy
called the token white party girl a bitch. Go!
- No, I didn't.
(texting)
- F*ck you guys.
♪ (chipper music) ♪
- Downsizing was such a great idea.
We're saving $2,000 a month.
- Yeah, it's just so cozy.
Hey, Jack, can you hand me the toilet paper, please?
- Sure thing, sweetheart. - Thank you.
(thump) - Ow!
- Watch out. - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
♪ (chipper music) ♪
Hey, Gwen-- I was thinking,
what if we made a new rule where the judges
have to divorce their respective spouses,
and then secretly start dating each other,
and then not-so-secretly become a couple?
- Absolutely.
- All right!
- Pharrell, Maroon 5 guy?
What about you? - I'm down.
- Mother f*cker!
- We're gonna make the cutest babies. - (scoffs)
- They're gonna have my tattoos and his hat.
♪ (chipper music) ♪
- Hey, uh, sweetie...
what do you say we make another one--
- NO!
Do you have any fricking idea how my vagina looks
after 19 kids?!
♪ (horror music) ♪
- WAAAAAH!!!!
- WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
If reality television were real, it would be less than ideal.
- I am very happy that all of the examples
that we've just viewed on the television
have conveniently illustrated the point that I'm talking about
and have changed your thoughts on the subject
of reality television, Ian Hecox.
What are you doing?
- (to himself) Follow your passions, Ian.
Or you'll forever be alone.
Be. Brave.
Hi! My name's Ian.
I know we just met and I have no idea who you are,
but I saw a show where strangers get married
and even though I don't know anything about you,
or if we're even compatible besides this bit.
Well, dah! Hell.
Will you marry me?
♪ (touching music) ♪
(both scream)
(shrieking in pain)
- OH GOD!!!
OH! LOVE SUCKS!!!!
- (Anthony) Hey, guys, thanks so much for subscribing.
Click the video on the left to watch bloopers and this:
- It happens to the best of us!
(laughter)
- (Anthony) And click the video on the right
to watch the newest Smosh Winter Games episode.
(girls screams)
(all ooh and ahh)
- (Anthony) YEAH!!!
And if you're on a fancy touchscreen device,
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