Joe Goldberg, a handsome little bookstore clerk
who hails from Brooklyn, New York.
He'll recommend a well-worn book
and make your panties drop while doing it.
It's no secret that our sexy book clerk
is also an obsessive soccer psychopath,
who lives life according to his own moral code.
And yet, that doesn't stop the shes, theys,
and gays from posting thirsty tweets all over the internet,
begging for Joe Goldberg to kidnap me, daddy.
I'm not a maybe, I'm the one.
(mysterious music)
Hello singles.
I'm Cindy from the YouTube channel withcindy.
And this is "Flirting With the Enemy."
The show where Netflix pays me
to catfish unsuspecting daters.
Not to the point of hiding bodies, necessarily.
But you said you would help me hide my ex's body.
We're gonna talk about that later.
This week, I wanna see if people are so thirsty
that they'll actually try to get it on
with an obsessive serial killer.
This is "Flirting With the Enemy," Joe Goldberg.
For all of our villains in this series
I made male and female profiles.
When it comes to matters of the heart,
Joe is truly desperate.
First things first, all the basic info.
Joe is in LA.
He's a bookstore manager.
And he's looking for a reason to delete this app.
I feel like this is something he would say
because he hates social media,
and he's also a romantic.
Who needs dating apps
when you finally find the right person for you?
To stalk and obsess over.
You've got a stalker.
I wanna start dropping some subtle red flags here.
So I'm gonna go with this direct quote from "You."
Loving someone means you will do anything for them.
Aw, so sweet.
Not!
You don't want someone to do anything for you.
That's how you end up getting your panties sniffed
and your body trapped in a glass box.
Now that I've created a dating profile
chock full of red flags,
let's see who's about to be Joe's next victim.
Joe matched with three people.
And during all of our chats,
I spoke exclusively in direct quotes from "You."
Our first swipe right is Trinity,
a multi-disciplinary artist, new to the LA area.
Sounds like someone else we know.
Adventurous, creative, and spiritual,
Trinity is looking for a man with ambition
who shows true authenticity.
Our boy may not be authentic,
but my god is he ambitious, for murder.
(man grunting and gurgling)
Right off the bat, Joe, well me, was weirding her out.
Always note the ellipses, people.
It's not fair how easy it is to kill a spark.
It's a miracle love ever happens, if it's not a myth.
Right now, I'm reading "Don Quixote."
It's about a guy who believes in chivalry
so he decides to be an old-school knight.
What are you reading?
Interesting.
Right now I'm reading some vegan cookbook auto bio
in relation to health and wellness.
I'm vegan, what about you?
What's your diet like?
This is the classic girl response
whenever a dude says something
that she doesn't give a shit about.
She's like, interesting.
Anyway, in Los Angeles, grocery stores
aren't just where you buy carrots,
they're a pristine, non-GMO, Disneyland.
Come for the spring lettuce mix,
stay for the perfect life that could be yours.
Trinity, I am so sorry, girl.
I am full-body sweating, writing all of this right now.
But this is quite literally how Joe talks.
I have to ask, did you think I was an incel
when I was talking to you?
It gave a little bit of like insane.
It gave like I'm trying to hide you in my basement.
Like that. - Oh, perfect.
- Yeah.
- Not like a basement, but like a glass box really.
- Right, something of that nature.
- I was in love once, she broke my heart, Trinity.
She really did a number on me.
I should've seen the signs,
but we never do when we're in love.
The point, Trinity...
- Love is tricky.
- Aw, sorry to hear that.
Yup, everybody's heart has been broken
at some point in time.
It's more so about how we fix ourselves
and who we become after the fact.
You're right.
It's about how we fix the crime scene
and how we become a serial killer after the fact.
Totally aligned with you there, girl.
Anyways, yeah, it is tricky,.
But hey, it takes a team
of two individuals who know themselves.
At the end of the day,
it's more about business than so love.
The real tragedy will be not appreciating what you have.
Some people seem to function
to show you what isn't right for you,
and others show you exactly what is.
- We're a lot alike, Beck.
Last of the true romantics.
- So, why did you still keep on talking to me,
even though you weren't feeling it,
and you clearly knew that I was a creep?
- I felt like I had to keep the conversation going.
I wanted to dig something out of you.
Like I wanted to see if, okay,
maybe I could give him a chance.
- You wanna know me?
- But you know, the more that I talked to you,
the more like psycho you became.
- Hey Trinity, so do you think it's a match?
Over text I'd say no.
Doesn't seem like someone you could have
a genuine conversation with.
Kind of robotic, in a way.
And it's a turn off.
It's okay, Trinity,
you can just say he talks like an incel.
Needless to say, Trinity chose to ghost Joe
instead of becoming a ghost.
Good on you, Trinity.
Our next victim, dater, Bethlehem.
A super social, So-Cal native,
who loves everything from dancing, hiking,
music festivals, and vegan boba.
Did she say hiking?
Is Joe allowed to have a red flag?
Because I've seen him run and it's not a pretty sight.
The good news is,
Bethlehem seems to have a bit of a dark side.
She's a big fan of Elvira, loves Dracula,
and her favorite director is Guillermo del Toro.
So how do you feel about murder?
I guess we'll see.
What brings you to LA?
- When you're running from someone who thinks they know you,
the best place to hide is a city they think you hate.
- Oh, I see.
So you're here because you're running away from someone?
Um, red flag for the both of you.
Let's change things up here.
I believe in love at first sight.
How romantic.
Readers, she did not think that was romantic.
So what was going through your mind
when you were on a date with me?
'Cause clearly you were not into it.
- No, not at all.
- But like what vibes did I give off to you?
- Joe is weird as hell.
Like I really...
He ran these like, oh, I believe in love at first sight.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
Who is this guy?
- I'll show you exactly who I am.
- When we live together, your place won't be a pigsty.
I'll clean for us and you won't eat all this frozen shit.
I'll cook for you every day, I promise.
I'll even do your laundry
and take care of your favorite books.
I'll make our bed every morning.
That's all very nice to hear.
However, before even speaking about moving in,
we should probably go on a date first, LOL.
Do you cook vegan?
Girl, I just went on a whole creepy-ass monologue,
and the first thing that you asked me is if I cook vegan?
She's like, yeah, this guy is a creep,
and will probably kill me in my sleep,
but let me make sure if he can
at least make a good veggie stir fry.
Okay, you were so into like asking
whether I was vegan or not.
I had that whole monologue.
- That cracked me up. - And like, first of all,
what were you thinking when I wrote that whole monologue?
- It was flattering.
I don't think I've ever heard a guy say, oh,
I'll cook, I'll clean for you, yada, yada, yada.
I've never really heard a man say that.
- The bar is so low
that you were impressed by that monologue?
- I guess.
I just, I guess I've just been really bored lately.
I don't know.
- And, wouldn't you know it, against all odds,
and truly speaking out the mouth of a murderer,
we got our first date.
- Our first date.
It just feels right, right?
- I'll go on a date with him, then.
It's a sense of defeat here for me.
The bar for men is literally in Hell.
All right, I think Daddy Joe here needs a real win.
So let's look at Moses.
He's a New York ex-pat in LA.
Recently out of a breakup.
Hmm, where have I heard that before?
He's a Cancer with trust issues.
(gasps) Emotional and riddled with trauma.
The perfect recipe for Joe.
- I like that.
- Moses, let's chat.
Chatting with you reminded me of my breakup
with NYC and my so-and-so relationship with LA.
So guess we have that in common.
The things you do for love, right?
It's not fair how easy it is to kill a spark.
- It's a miracle love ever happens.
If it's not a myth.
- Absolutely.
The chase of that fleeting passion.
Once gone, it's over.
I think exists to be in love.
Looking back in retrospect, talking to you
is the only thing that perhaps makes sense these days.
Uh, what?
Love isn't a strong enough word.
Sometimes it scares me to love someone so completely
and not have them love you back.
My biggest nightmare ever, second to drowning.
It's like the true fueling is a super power in itself.
Thinking of you makes me smile hard,
makes everything else look that much brighter,
as if learning something I already thought I knew.
Hold on here!
I'm supposed to be the creep in this chat.
We can't have two weirdos in this chat.
That's just not sustainable.
We can't have all the panties in the world
to sniff for the both of us.
I just wanted to ask you,
were you playing a bit, or were you like for real?
- Um, I was like for real at one point.
And then I seen stuff kind of getting extreme,
so I kind of played a bit.
- Oh, you were just like matching my energy?
- Absolutely.
- I was doing the same thing.
'Cause every time you were pushing,
I was like, let's push harder.
And I think that we trying to like
out-creep each other then.
- Yes, I definitely, then it got kind of creepy.
I was like, ah is she joking, or?
But I was like, you know what?
I really like her.
She looks pretty.
I was like, let me just go with this.
- How does someone get rid of a body?
The things someone does for love.
Babe, I will help you get rid of your ex's body.
I love you.
Bro, I mean, cue first date idea, I guess.
You were all in when you were talking to me.
- Yes.
- To the point where like we were talking marriage,
we were talking our futures together.
Has your experiences with love typically been like this,
when you're talking with a girl for the first time?
- Yeah.
I like get caught up in the whole passionate thing
and like, you know, kind of forecasting our future.
I am a bit of a hopeless romantic.
So I kind of like to entertain the ideas
of what people are doing to the extreme.
I'll kind of go with the flow a little bit.
Not to the point of hiding bodies necessarily.
- But you said you would help me hide my ex's body.
- We're gonna talk about that later.
- Y'all already know, Moses picked date.
Honestly, if he didn't,
my feelings would have been pretty hurt.
And I'd have something I'd need to unpack with my therapist.
- A pretty decent therapist, she's lucky to have.
- You know, I think we learned a lot today.
One, I might be too good at this.
Two, do not come for vegans.
And three, Joe should really consider going for men,
that shit works.
(sighs) The things we do just for a single crumb of coochie,
or, as some of these men like to call it, love.
For all of you swiping right, remember to be careful.
You never know when you could be flirting with the enemy.
(dramatic music)