Quit your toxic job and you'll be fine, right? The
truth is toxic jobs have aftermaths and simply
carrying on after you leave your toxic job so
nothing ever happened to you is setting yourself
up to suffer and maybe even to find yourself in
toxic company after toxic company after toxic
company. Well, you see where I'm going here Hello
my career bestie and if you're new here, welcome
to my channel for videos about toxic workplace
survival and recovery and success. After a toxic
workplace. Tap the subscription button and the
notification bell I release at least one new video
each week grab your tea because it is toxic
workplace storytime. After surviving a toxic
workplace myself and working with countless people
who have done just the same, I realized the
lasting impacts that they have. And while
awareness and conversation about toxic workplaces
is increasing in awareness, like in BuzzFeed
articles and stuff like that, what isn't being
discussed is the aftermath of a toxic workplace
and how they can hurt your well being your career
and your bank account. In today's video, I'm going
to break down the common problems that I see of
toxic workplace escapees, and how you can work
around those obstacles. If that all sounds good to
you, if you are ready to tap that like button, and
let's just jump straight into it. The first toxic
workplace side effect is that it can raise false
alarms. Essentially, what happens when you are
surviving in or have survived a toxic workplace is
your toxic workplace detector gets totally out of
whack our brains spot patterns. That means when we
see action consequence, our brain is going to draw
an inference about what's going to happen next.
What this means is that if any even surface level
toxic behavior exists, alarm bells rang, for
example, have you ever gotten a meeting booking
from your boss where the reason for the meaning
wasn't clear? If you're like most people panic
immediately ensues? Why is that because at some
point in your career, that meaning that you didn't
know what the purpose was, was because you were
going to get in trouble you were being laid off,
some bad event occurred. And now when your brain
sees that meeting from your boss with no topic, it
automatically equates back to that bad event. And
that sends us into a stress response. The same
thing happens with really any adverse event in our
life. Like a few months ago, when it hits note in
New York City, the sidewalks in my area were
really icy and I fell. And after that happened, I
was really nervous to go out because I thought if
there was ice I would fall your brain connects has
information for you. However, just because your
brain has connected that event with a pattern, it
doesn't mean that it's valid. And this is where we
need to get into perceived versus real danger.
Just because your brain senses potential danger
doesn't mean that any actual danger exists. I've
seen this one recently with someone that I was
working with, she had been in a toxic work
environment where discrimination was just running
rampant. And while she is in process of landing
her next opportunity, she's very, very sensitive
to any potential gender discrimination. her brain
is now hyper aware of the warning signs because
she has experienced the negative effects. Is it
valid? Maybe sometimes it is. But one of the
things that we have been working on together is to
help identify and assess where those dangerous
signals are being fired off to see if the threat
is real. Is it an actual red flag? Or is it a
perceived threat in those instances where our
brain is going into protection mode and activating
the good news is is that recalibration is
completely possible. And I'll tell you the process
that I've been going through with this client
because I think that it might help you in
situations where she has detected a perceived
threat. The red flakes are there. The first thing
that we do is we bring awareness to the situation
and we name it as a perceived threat. Then we
objective Lee talked through the situation to
determine the actual threat level, is it really a
sign of a toxic workplace? Or is it just someone's
quirky personality? Simply having awareness to the
sensitivity is actually going to bring you a long
way in terms of recalibrating your brain and not
detecting danger everywhere or when you see those
same toxic workplace behaviors. And actually, I'd
love to hear from you. Have you ever noticed
yourself really quickly picking up on certain
toxic behaviors or toxic workplace patterns after
you have left a toxic workplace? Let me know in
the comments down below. And with that I would
like to actually move into the next aftermath of a
toxic workplace. And that is an impact to your
confidence. I do not care if you think you're the
most confident person in the world. In fact,
I thought I was the most confident person in the
world. I thought I was completely unshakable by
any external influence or opinions and I was
wrong. most toxic workplaces are going to include
things like narcissistic bosses, malicious gossip,
unfair criticism, and other malicious behaviors.
And while any of these things as a one off media
to off even if Five off, might not matter existing
for a sustained period of time in that toxic work
environment is going to have an implication in
your confidence and maybe even your self worth.
And I'm not saying that as a professional, you're
just going to have no confidence and think you're
totally worthless and that no one's who would ever
hire you again. I mean, you might have those
worries. But you also might not how this actually
translated for me in the aftermath of my toxic
work experience was that I was insecure in very
specific work situations. In my toxic work
situation, my toxic boss exploited the fact that I
overthought, every single decision that I made
would really make me question that and what this
did was this created insecurity about the quality
of the decisions that I was making was I think he
learned enough was I taking the full picture into
consideration and well, logically speaking, the
answer was absolutely yes, there was never at any
point any valid reason to question my decision
making I had an impeccable track record. However,
after leaving the toxic work environment, this
pattern did continue into my next job. And when
discussing decisions with my new manager, I
brought a lot of insecurities, and even started
deferring decision making to him in some capacity
that did not do me any favors and making a good
first impression at my new job. Here's the thing
toxic workplaces by their very structure, and
concepts are going to have implications in your
confidence, they will make you doubt yourself and
your awesomeness. If they didn't, they wouldn't be
toxic. And here's the scary thing that really is a
double edged sword for those of you that are in a
toxic work environment, or have recently escaped a
toxic work environment, and are looking for your
next opportunity. If you don't address this impact
to confidence, it can have disastrous results for
your career and your bank account. So let's dig
into that toxic workplace side effect. And the
fact that a toxic workplace can impact your next
opportunity and your income. Yes, even when you
quit your toxic job. I have spoken with so many
people who've been in a toxic workplace, my
friends over on LinkedIn, and a ton of you hear in
the comments. And there's something that I
consistently hear when people are leaving a toxic
workplace, I'll have to take a pay cut, or I'll
take what I can get. And when you're in a toxic
workplace, this honestly is such an awful catch 22
because toxic workplaces decrease your confidence,
as we just discussed, but you need confidence in
your job search to learn the right opportunity.
And to get paid for the value that you bring to
that next opportunity. The lower your confidence
is, the bigger the struggle is going to be to get
both of those things in order. And so many times
just out of desperation in the job search or just
to get out of their toxic workplace as quickly as
possible. I have seen people who have taken jobs
that they were overqualified for, or where they
were being underpaid, because they didn't feel
valuable. And I am going to come back to that one
in just a minute. So stay with me, whether it is
finding your next opportunity being paid a top
salary in order to do that job, or even succeeding
in the new job that you have, once you leave your
toxic workplace. Confidence is absolutely crucial.
It bends reality. I've said it before. And I'll
say it again, confidence is contagious. And when
you have a high level of self confidence, other
people are going to feel confident in you. And
this will actually change their entire perception
of you at work. This is such a big problem that
I'm actually going to release a new program called
toxic job detox. And it's really designed to help
you rebuild your confidence process what happened
to you in the toxic workplace, and break the
patterns so that you don't just survive in your
next job, so that you can establish a thriving
career. After a toxic workplace to celebrate its
launch, I am going to be having a free event. And
there's going to be some special early bird
offers. If you want to be the first to know about
this exciting new program and to get some
exclusive offers in your inbox, go to toxic job
comm and sign up for the waitlist. And actually,
that brings me directly into my next point about
the aftermath of a toxic workplace. And that is
toxic patterns. And this is a really important
part of the new program. But I don't want to lock
it away. I want you guys working on it right now.
So let's start here. When you're in a toxic work
environment, you develop you acquire coping
mechanisms in order to survive those coping
mechanisms are going to be behaviors that help you
minimize conflict with your boss, avoid drama with
your co workers and things along those lines. For
me, one of those toxic habits was actually over
communicating. As I share the manager that I was
working with had a tendency to over critique in
order to make me feel less secure and maybe even
portray me as being less competent
at my job. The coping mechanism that I acquired
was to communicate the reason and the logic behind
the decisions I was making before he even asked
and because this was a subconscious coping
mechanism that I developed when I went into my
next job, that behavior continued occurring and
what ended up happening my new boss now
established this as the baseline of communication.
So when I realized I don't really need to be doing
this anymore. It had actually created this toxic
pattern of over communication. And we needed to
course correct the most common toxic behavior that
I see. And I also fell prey to when I was in a
toxic work environment is complaining, whether
it's complaining to your co workers, your coffee,
bitching to your friends after work, or like me a
nightly rant session to your spouse about how
miserable you are at work. Complaining is a bad
habit. And because complaining can become a habit,
as you use it as a coping mechanism in a toxic
workplace, you might end up continuing to spot all
those bad things and complaining, even when you
exit the toxic work environment. And that negative
focus negative lens and culture of complaining can
actually again, frame a toxic work environment for
you, where a toxic work environment would not
exist otherwise, and even if it doesn't
complaining, it's just gonna make you miserable.
So what can you do with these toxic habits that
you've acquired? Well, first of all, you need to
spot the toxic patterns. This might be easy, like
you might be like, yeah, I'm probably complaining
a little bit too much these days. Or it might be
harder to spot like my over communication with my
boss, however, you need to do the work here to
find it. And then it's a matter of adjusting those
habits. So there's two different things that you
can do here, you can stop the habit, so habits
zation, just like I'm just not going to complain
anymore. But what is typically most effective is
going to be habit swapping. This is actually my
favorite way to integrate better habits. And the
more that you can actually integrate success
habits in the place of those toxic habits, the
better off you're going to be. I have a whole
video on success habits. But just for example, if
we look at complaining instead of complaining
every day after work, why not express things that
were awesome about the day or something that you
learned not only are these things going to make
you happier at work which you deserve, especially
when you have survived a toxic workplace, these
are going to be things that elevate your career.
And that actually brings me now to the half a
million dollar mistake you might be making in the
aftermath of a toxic workplace, many toxic
workplace survivors scale back their ambition,
because you've been in the survival stress mode.
It's like I just want to have a job I go to and
leave at the end of the day and isn't problematic.
They stopped wanting to excel in their career or
they stopped wanting to get promotions, they
stopped wanting to grow as a professional. And
this can be a direct result of trauma experienced
in a toxic workplace. And look, if climbing the
corporate ladder and having the American Dream is
in for you. Totally cool. You need to define
success on your own terms and live it. But if you
are someone who had career ambitions, it might
just be that you're not giving yourself permission
to what these things are. They might feel
unattainable, or it might just be another coping
mechanism designed to help protect you from a
potentially toxic work environment. And if that's
the case, you need to work through it to release
it. This doesn't just impact your job title, it
actually impacts your bank account with one of my
clients, we actually future tracked her earning
potential and promotion path over the course of 10
years. Option one, she did nothing and just kind
of skated along option two, she rebuilt her
confidence found a job that paid her better than
her toxic job and got her onto the promotion path.
And the difference in her earning potential just
over those 10 years was $500,000. No, I'm not
saying that's what it is going to be for you. It
might be higher, it might be lower. But even if
you are settling and the next job that you take
after you escape a toxic workplace, and you're
taking that pay hit because you don't feel very
good about yourself that is showing up in your
bank account and it compacts over time. Once
you've escaped a toxic workplace. We need to get
you out of survival mode in your career and into
survival mode. So if you haven't already, I
definitely recommend that you check out the
resources that are going to be coming out with my
new program, or even the program itself that if
there's one thing that you do today that can
actually immediately have an impact and is a great
success habit for you to start forming. That is to
practice daily gratitude. A gratitude practice is
not only going to help you be positive at work,
increase your confidence, it's even going to make
you more resilient if you are still in a toxic
workplace. If you don't have a gratitude practice
and you don't know where to start, go and check
out this video right now where I break it all down
for you. But before you go If this video helps you
if it helps you figure out where you need to kind
of deal with after leaving a toxic workplace. Give
this video a thumbs up it really helps my channel
and it makes you my favorite career bestie if you
haven't already consider subscribing and I will
see you in the next video my friend. Bye for now.