Heya playa, do you have a crush on someone that only sees you as a friend?
On the outside, you're playing buddy-buddy but deep inside you have huge romantic feelings for
them that you're afraid to let out because you don't want to lose them from your life.
Don't worry in this video I'm going to walk you through exactly what you
need to do to get them to see you as more than just a friend.
When you think about the relationship that you and
your crush have where do you place it along the connection spectrum?
Do you feel like you're leaning more towards the friend zone or
more towards a potential date with them?
It's important to know where you're first starting out with them because that's going
to help dictate what you need to do more of and maybe what you need to do less of.
So, diving into what you need to do,
the first tip I want to share here is that you need to be more outspoken.
This is going to allow your crush to see that you have your own voice,
you're confident in sharing that, and you're not afraid to kind of put
your perspective out there without fear or judgment from other people.
Openly sharing your thoughts and your feelings is what's gonna help you stand
out from all the other guys out there.
It's gonna allow your crush to look at you and realize that you're someone that stands
on their own two feet and is not afraid to put themselves out there when they want something.
Think about it like this, you saw your crush and you hesitated to
start a conversation with them because you didn't really know what to talk to
them about or you didn't want to interrupt them because they were with their friends.
It's those actions that are going to
show your crush that you're not someone that's being proactive.
Their only interactions with you are going to happen when they start the conversation
and if that's the case they're not gonna see you as more than
just a friend because you're not giving them a reason to.
"Okay, there she is. She's all by herself. This is my chance to go talk to her. I'm gonna go do
it. Let's just do... wait a second, she's with their friends. No, I can't do it. I can't do it"
Now look, there's nothing wrong with feeling shy sometimes.
It happens to all of us and that's okay.
What I want you to actively start doing is taking those small steps.
If you see your crush in the hallway or at class, say hi to them.
Introduce yourself.
Start a conversation with them.
If you see them around their friends, insert yourself into the equation.
Talk to everyone that's there.
The more face time you have, the more you approach your crush,
the more easily it's going to be for them to start to see you in a
potentially different light because you're more involved in their life.
What if the two of you are already buddy-buddy?
You can talk to them and open up to them,
ask them to hang out, but you're missing that romantic relationship piece?
Well, that's going to bring in the second thing you need
to do which is to be clear about what you want.
It's easy to make the decision to settle for a friendship because it
means that that person is going to be in your life in some capacity.
If you weren't friends then you probably would never talk to them so,
you'll take what you can get.
But the problem here is that what you get and what you want are vastly different things
so you need to start changing how you interact with them.
That might mean start openly flirting with them more, joking around with them,
teasing them, let them see that you view them in a different capacity than you do other friends.
One thing I always recommend to people is to set that transition point.
That means from that moment on you're always going to interact with them
in a way that's going to lead towards you building a relationship with them.
You're no longer going to fall back into the friend zone ways,
you're going to start to speak and act towards them differently.
"All right, I missed the chance to talk to them before. Now it's
time to set my transition. Okay, here they come."
"Hey, how's it going dude? You know I haven't seen you in so long. What are you been up to?"
"Hey not much just focus on playing guitar and working on my hobbies.
You know how I do. But there's something different about you,
I don't know what it is but I really like it. You look really cute today."
"Really? Thanks! I never heard you say something like that before."
"I don't know, there's something different about you and I really like it so keep it up."
It's only when you start actively interacting with your crush in a
way that's going to show them that you want to develop something more
that you're going to start believing in and they may potentially start believing it too.
And don't get me wrong, making that transition can be kind of scary if you say something flirty
and they just brush it off or don't really pay attention it might discourage you it might make
you feel like this is the wrong approach to take but you need to keep it up you need to
show them what you actively want or else you're gonna stay in that friend position forever.
And here's the big part that you need to be 100 prepared for.
Let's say you're flirting with them, you're talking to them more, you even ask them out
but at the end of the day they say something like we should just be friends, what do you do?
Tip number three, don't settle for the friend zone.
This is gonna undo all the work you've put in building up your
own confidence in talking to them the way that you have.
So what I want you to do instead is to establish what it is that you want.
If they just want to maintain a friendship with you and that's not really what you want,
you need to openly tell them that.
"Hey I don't know if I gave off the wrong impression before but I want you to know
that I just see you as a friend and like that's probably all we're ever gonna be."
"Oh all right well look I'll be honest with you, I don't think I can maintain a friendship
with someone that I have such deep feelings for so honestly, the best thing is probably
for us to give each other a little bit of space. I need some time to kind of just
focus my thoughts and do my own thing, is that cool?"
"Oh okay, well I mean I really like having you as a friend though and I
don't want to lose you so can we still talk and hang out maybe?"
"I really want to say yes right now but I don't think it'll be fair to either of us.
I don't think I could just be your friend because I have these feelings
so space is probably the best thing for both of us."
Now that's how you prepare for a worst-case scenario but let's say everything is going well.
You're flirting with them, you're talking more often, you're hanging out more,
how do you now make the transition out of friendship into an actual relationship?
Well, this is the piece a lot of people linger in and it means asking them out on an actual date.
Because you guys were just friends before and then you started to add in all this romantic chemistry
the lines may be completely blurred so be as clear as possible here.
Be open, direct, and honest.
Show them how you feel.
You might even want to tell them how you feel at this point
once you feel like the two of you are really building that relationship.
And fair warning though, the longer you've known that person and have taken the time
to cement that friendship the harder it's going to be for you to climb out of it.
You got to understand, they've known you and seen you in this light for so many years
so if you want to change their perspective it's going to require a lot of work.
And look, if you really like this person don't give up.
Give yourself the best chance possible by doing
everything that's within your power to potentially be with them.
That means stepping outside of your comfort zone and that means embracing the awkward.
And the thing is, I know you have what it takes to be somebody great so don't sell yourself short.
Put yourself out there and do what you can.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.