The long-awaited sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy revisited everything fans loved about
the first film, while moving the story forward in a wild and imaginative way — and critics
and audiences alike agree that it was one of Marvel's most fun movies to date.
And yet, even in an altogether terrific followup, there are still some weird plot holes, quirky
easter eggs, and continuity questions that left us scratching our heads while the end
credits rolled.
Yeah, it's all small potatoes compared to the movie's winning qualities, but here are
all the dumb things from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 that left us feeling a little...
unsettled.
Star Lord's tracking device
From his outfit to his entertainment system, Star-Lord is all about the eighties — including
when it comes to the tech he whips out in this opening scene.
This vintage Mattel football video game has been rewired to work as a tracking device,
but where did it come from?
There are only two options: one, that Quill stumbled upon it during his travels around
the galaxy, which would be a weird coincidence to say the least.
Or two, maybe he had it on him when he was kidnapped from the earth as a kid — but
unlike his Walkman, he wasn't too sentimental about this toy to repurpose it into a useful
piece of tech.
Why are the Guardians doing the Sovereigns' dirty work?
This big action set piece pitting the Guardians against a space monster known as an Abelisk
was such an amazing scene, you can almost ignore the obvious question: why were the
Guardians there in the first place?
The Sovereign leader offers a reason —
"We could not risk the lives of our own Sovereign citizens."
— but they wouldn't have to; as we find out shortly, they own an entire fleet of remote-controlled
ships that seem perfectly equipped for a job like this.
What prompted them to punt this job to a shady group of misfits like the Guardians?
We may never know.
Ego's relationship with Mantis
Director James Gunn wanted his sequel to include some characters from the comics that didn't
make the cut the first time around, and Mantis, who has a long and storied history with the
Guardians, was an obvious choice.
But to fit her in, Gunn had to tweak her story — so in the movie, she's basically an indentured
adopted daughter to Ego, using her empathic powers to help him sleep at night.
Wait, what?
Ego is an ancient, powerful celestial being — and he needs an empath to sleep at night?
How did he sleep in the thousands and thousands of years before Mantis came along?
And why would he let her, the only person who knew his true intentions, hang out unchaperoned
with the Guardians where she could spill the beans at any time?
Well, whatever.
Maybe Ego can't just manifest a supply of Ambien the way he manifested an entire planet,
and maybe his god-like status made him a little overconfident about his nefarious plan.
But most importantly, maybe we're so psyched to have Mantis in this movie that her backstory
doesn't really need to hold up to scrutiny.
Who's your Hasselhoff?
In this film, we learn that Quill keeps a pic of Knight Rider-era David Hasselhoff in
his pocket, because as a fatherless kid, he used to tell people the Hoff was his real
dad — a subplot that leads to this crowd-pleasing cameo from Hasselhoff as one of Ego's various
avatars.
There's just one problem: this Hoff is a senior citizen, whereas Quill's aspirational dad
was the strapping young Hoff of the 1980s.
In the context of the story, and for maximum emotional impact on Quill, Ego should have
appeared as that version of Hasselhoff.
But if that was going to make the difference between working with the Hoff directly versus
recreating his younger self using CGI, it's not hard to see why the filmmakers preferred
the real thing.
The truth about Quill's mom
Ego is still making a hard pitch for Quill to join him when he also spills a horrifying
secret: he's the one who gave Quill's mom cancer, a fact he reveals to his son while
also trying to woo him over to the dark side.
But for some strange reason, learning that Ego is responsible for the worst trauma of
his life doesn't make Quill feel like teaming up with him — an outcome so predictable
that any celestial being worth his salt should've seen it coming.
And equally inexplicable is why Ego bothered to off Quill's mother at all.
What gives, dude?
"I returned to earth to see her three times.
And I knew, if I returned a fourth, I'd never leave."
That's his story, but we don't buy it.
Everything we know about Ego suggests he's a raging sociopath who doesn't care about
anyone — and since he planned all along to kidnap Quill from earth, taking mom out
of the equation seems pointless.
Plus, Ego has been alive for millions of years, so what's the big rush?
Why not just be happy for 40 or 50 years and then complete the masterplan once she dies
of old age or something?
Of course, this is still an important moment in terms of establishing Ego as a cut-and-dried
bad guy and giving Quill a good reason to want to destroy him, but it's one of a handful
that doesn't make narrative sense.
No continuity for old Marvel
The timeline of the Marvel Cinematic Universe has always been kind of fuzzy, but Guardians
of the Galaxy Volume 2 represents a real missed opportunity for MCU continuity.
Here's the deal: Ego's attempt to take control of the earth occurs around the same time as
films like Captain America: Civil War and the ABC series Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Surely the MCU's top crimefighters would have noticed the giant tide of alien goo engulfing
half of Missouri — and a crossover cameo in either direction would have really helped
to tie this universe together.
Sadly, Ego's incursion on earth never earned so much as a nod in these other Marvel properties,
and in Guardians 2, no other MCU characters ever showed up to investigate the goo situation.
The invincible Milano
We all know that Star-Lord has a very cool ship.
The Milano is fast, slick, comes loaded with a tape deck for all your soundtrack needs,
and makes a hell of a mobile man-cave.
"If I had a blacklight, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting."
But is the Milano literally indestructible?
The ship takes a pounding during this battle with the Sovereign's forces, in which dozens
and dozens of ships fire point blank on the Guardians.
Yet Star-Lord's ship weathers all that damage, when other ships have gone down with just
a shot or two.
How does the Milano survive this veritable onslaught of laser fire while still maintaining
enough integrity to stumble toward a crash landing?
In this case, the answer is simple: plot armor — the same reason why Stormtroopers have
such terrible aim and James Bond can somehow win a fistfight with a henchman twice his
size.
If one direct hit could knock the hero's ship out of the sky, there would be no movie.
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