we all get hurt at some time in our
lives at some time in our lives someone
hurts us disappoints us lets us down and
you know we also
disappoint someone hurt them let them
down it's part of being a human but i
want you to set yourself free from
holding onto grudges holding on to god
just doesn't help you
it doesn't right or wrong it just hurts
you all over again
[Music]
so here's how to give yourself the gift
of forgiveness
so how do god just hold you back well
first of all you will never find peace
or serenity when you're holding onto a
grudge because you're hanging on to
unhelpful emotions you're living in the
past
you're treating forgiveness as a
conditional state you know the most
important words in the world are let go
and the most unimportant words are hold
on
and you can't find new horizons while
clinging to the shore you can't let go
of grudges while holding on to them
and so you need to move into forgiveness
and to understand the most important
thing about forgiving
it's not for the other person it is for
you
you forgive other people because you are
not willing to hold on to resentment to
carry it around
it's like a backpack full of stones that
is weighing you down
so start from the understanding
forgiveness
is for you are you forgiving
so how do you forgive someone what are
the steps
well recognize that you may have somehow
contributed to that situation
and don't hold on to it don't go to bed
angry
try to see the other person's point of
view acknowledge
how the incident may just have helped
you grow
allow some time to pass
and see forgiveness as a gift to
yourself
let me tell you a story one of my
clients was incredibly wealthy and her
three sisters weren't and she didn't
have children and that was great sadness
to her
so on christmas were all her nieces and
nephews laptops
and the sisters took her to one side and
said don't you ever do that again how
dare you turn up here trying to show off
trying to humiliate us buying gifts for
our kids that we can't buy
and she was so hurt and so upset and
angry but eventually everyone said you
know
i kind of got to see their point of view
they really didn't think i was turning
up like ladybound for showing off it
wasn't my intention at first i was so
hurt so wounded it's like wow
how could you take something so nice and
turn it around but then later
i could look at their perspective and
see that they were just upset they don't
have the money i have i don't have the
children they have but i was able to let
it go i forgave them even though
i wasn't in the wrong i forgave them i
got over it because you know what
my sisters are the most important thing
and what she was saying is one of my
favorite things is it's not
important to be right it's important to
be kind this happened to me many many
years ago my friend came to spend the
day with me and we went to the gym we
worked out the next day i went to my car
and my passenger window was smashed
there's a big hole in it and i didn't
understand wow someone smashed my car
drove to work and then my friend went
hey
i left my aerobic kit on the passenger
seat of your car when oh
that's where my car got broken into it
was stolen she went stolen i said yes
but my shoes my training shoes cost like
a hundred dollars you have to pay for
them i'm like no i don't have to pay for
them because i've got to pay for my
window
because you left your things in my car
so we kind of fell out her take was
my stuff got stolen in your car it's
your fault you pay and my take was if
you hadn't left your stuff in my car in
plain sight my window wouldn't have been
smashed which i've got to pay for
we weren't friends anymore many years
past and i thought you know what
i lost my friend over 150 dollars i got
a check out i sent it to her and said
you know here's a check i should have
done this years ago
and i thought that's all lovely but she
wrote back and i'm so glad you finally
realized you were wrong
i'm so glad you got it and we did become
friends again but she never ever got it
that
she was just as couple as me
she left her stuff in my car
so it kind of i still think it was her
fault she still thinks it was my fault
but you know what
it doesn't matter i wasn't going to lose
my friend
that i've had since i was 11 for 150
and
i had more money than her so it was very
easy for me to pay i didn't have more
money then but i still had a bit more
money than she did and i'm very glad i
gave her the money because she's still
my friend i can talk to her
i can see her that isn't in the middle
of us do i hold a grudge no i just let
it go it's more important to be kind
than it is to be right it's not
important to be right
it's very important to do the right
thing paying for her nike shoes was the
right thing
because she let it go
and i let it go and you might think well
you haven't let it go you're telling me
the story now but i'm telling you the
story knowing that it's okay
and if i could change anything i would
have done it
a day later i would have given her the
money there and then because life is too
short to hold a grudge especially over
something you can fix
with a check
if you have the money to do that
and you know i could have even said look
let me give you half the money
i could have done something i shouldn't
have dug in my heels
but i dug my heels out now and you can
too
so overcome the emotional pain of
holding onto grudges
to overcome the emotional pain of
holding onto grudges click below
download my audio letting go of grudges
because letting go
means you're free and that's a great
place to be
check out my next video here anyone
notice that that day comes around
they're sick
because here's how the mind works you
say oh my god i volunteered to share
that meeting i must have been out of my
mind i die if i've got to go on stage i
don't want to do that and your brain's
like leave that with me
now next wednesday