- Welcome to the Brown Bar.
(whimsical music)
- So I recently starting dating a brown girl
and her parents asked what I do for a living,
I'm a teacher, but they want me to form my answer
in terms of doctor, lawyer, engineer.
- Just tell them you're an engineer.
- But I'm not.
- Are you not an engineer of education?
- Uh, okay, I also have a summer job at Best Buy.
- Oh, so you're a computer engineer.
- No, I just sell them.
- So you're a computer engineer.
- My phone isn't working properly.
It keeps glitching.
- Oh no, let's take a look.
Mmm, yeah, I see what's going on.
Gimme a second.
Kanwer, can you help me with this?
(rubbing hands together)
Hi-nee.
There, should be good as new.
Somebody probably just cast an evil eye over it.
- Uber driver?
- Transportation engineer.
- How do I know if my brown friends celebrate Christmas?
- Just ask them.
- Okay, Hannah, do you celebrate Christmas?
- Tony, buddy, listen to me.
I already told you I'll accept a gift from you
because I respect your religion.
I just won't buy anything for you
because I don't really celebrate Christmas.
- So that's a no, then?
- I didn't say that.
- Then what are you saying?
- I'm saying I'm a size eight
and I really love Balenciaga's,
because I really respect your religion.
- House cleaner?
- Sanitary engineer.
- My boyfriend Dave got really upset
that I don't like cricket.
- People are allowed to have different preferences, I guess.
- So isn't it just a boring version of baseball?
- Security.
- Cashier?
- Finance engineer.
- So I'm working on a film,
and I'm told it needs to be a little more diverse.
- Sounds like a good idea.
- Yeah, but there aren't any roles
for doctors or cab drivers or anything.
- Well, what other roles are there?
- Uh, let's see, there's a love interest.
- Brown people can love.
- There's a student.
- Brown people do go to school.
- There's the best friend.
- As a brown person,
I have personally experienced friendship.
- Really?
- Yes, brown people can play all of those roles.
What else is there?
- Whoa, one's enough for now, all right?
I still want people to be able to relate,
but thank you.
- Okay, Hank Azaria.
- Gardener?
- Photosynthesis engineer, huh?
- I failed my math test and my parents are gonna kill me.
- Here's what you want to do.
You go into your parents' room,
you tell 'em you made a mistake.
Tell 'em you're pregnant.
You're on meth, and it was your boyfriend Kevin.
Jerome, even better, and then tell 'em,
actually, you know what, I'm not sure who the father is.
That's why I'm going on Maury
to publicly find out who the father is,
and then hit 'em with the, just kidding!
I only failed my math test,
but you see how much worse things could be?
- I came to this country to give better life to my kids
and now, my son is making TikToks.
- And eating beef.
Yes, you know, a lot of people come here
to complain about their kids.
Why don't you take one of these brochures?
You'll see that most kids are actually worse than yours.
- This boy has tattoos on his face!
- My mom really wants me to be a vegetarian,
but I really like KFC.
- Ah, that's okay.
That's not real meat anyways.
- Every time I go to my health clinic,
Dr. Raghupathi's just prescribing me turmeric with water.
- And what's the problem?
- It's not fixing anything.
- Have you tried ginger?
- No, I need real medicine.
- Okay, here's what you need.
You're gonna get some brandy, you're gonna warm it up,
and you're gonna take shots of that.
You'll be as good as new.
You're welcome.
- My school doesn't have any colored people there
except me and (sighs) I can't relate to anyone.
- What do they talk about?
- This one guy always talks about
how Carol's annoying and cheap.
- What did Carol do?
- She's lame and tells him what to do.
I mean, I heard them fighting on the phone this one time
and he told her to, shut the F up and then he hung up.
- How long they been dating?
- Carol's his mom.
- Oh.
- Anyway, I gotta go.
My mom's waiting in the car.
I really gotta go, I'm sorry.
- So I'm a huge fan of the Simpsons,
but I watched this documentary recently
that said Apu is problematic now.
How should I feel?
- I feel like you should watch Family Guy.
- I'm dating a brown guy, but I'm Hindu and he's Christian.
- Your parents will come around.
- I'm Hindu, but he's Buddhist.
- Your parents will come around.
- I'm Hindu, but he's white.
- Run away from home.
- Hi, so I'm dating this brown girl
and she grew up kinda suppressed, you know,
and I want to get it on but I want to be sensitive
about sex and stuff, so what do you think I should do?
- All right, let me tell you what not to do.
Don't read the Kama Sutra.
As it is an Indian text, we're not too fond
of sharing that information with other people.
Matter of fact, I don't think we do it with each other.
It's kind of like yoga.
You ever see an Indian person doing yoga?
Not very much.
- My little boy is growing up too fast.
He wants to start making his own decisions.
He's talking to girls, which are bad influences.
- Have you tried grounding him?
- Yes, but he talks back to me, says I can't do that.
- Maybe try taking away his toys.
- I tried.
- Ma, can I have my phone back, please?
My wife is probably calling me.
- See what I mean?
- Yeah.
- Hi!
Thank you so much for watching this video.
I appreciate you taking the time,
of all the other things you could be doing,
to watch this video.
Give it a thumbs up if you liked it.
Check out all the people in the video.
Shout out to them.
The links are in the description.
My last video over there.
My vlog channel there,
and yo, make sure you subscribe
because we're making videos on here.
One love, Lilly, that is a wrap, and zoop.
I have, one hand is holding the camera, so.