You can't quite get yourself to sleep one night and decide to go for a jog.
The city is quiet, and it's kind of nice to be out here when nobody is around- it feels
like you have the whole city to yourself.
As you jog past the rear of your local bank though, you can't help but notice several
men loading what look like canvas bags into a truck through a rear door.
An icy chill of realization strikes you when you realize you've accidentally stumbled onto
a bank robbery- and that icy chill turns to actual ice when you hear a maniacal laughter
coming from the darkness behind you!
Slowly you turn around and there he is, in signature purple topcoat and white makeup,
it's the clown prince of crime- the Joker himself.
And now you're just another loose end he needs to clean up.
So you decided you'd try and be healthy and work your insomnia off with a nice late-night
jog, but stumbled straight into a criminal plot by one of the most dangerous super villains
in the world- how are you going to defeat The Joker?
As always to defeat your enemy, you must know your enemy.
And with The Joker, well it can be hard to know what's real and what's not.
As he has famously said himself, he prefers that his past and origins be multiple choice,
and thus nobody is quite sure where the Joker came from.
What is known about the Joker is that he was once diagnosed with every major psychological
disorder, and is believed to be incurably insane.
If you've seen our Who Would Win episode, Pennywise vs The Joker, then you already know
that The Joker easily defeated Pennywise while barely breaking a sweat.
That's because Pennywise's primary weapon- the ability to cause fear- was completely
ineffective on the Joker, given that the Joker is simply too insane for Pennywise to read
his mind and figure out what he is afraid of.
That wasn't just our opinion by the way, once the superhero The Atom shrunk himself down
and entered into the Joker's brain and witnessed the Joker's memories for himself.
Unable to tell what was real and what wasn't, the Atom nearly went insane himself from the
experience.
Joker's insanity makes him completely unpredictable, and in a weird way that is one of his greatest
strengths.
Numerous super heroes have failed to defeat the Joker because of his unpredictability.
A skilled hand-to-hand fighter, the Joker's insanity makes him a completely unpredictable
opponent and super heroes who rely on reading minds or body movements to defeat their opponents
in hand-to-hand combat find it impossible to do so.
Other superheroes who find themselves caught up in his villainous plots often find it impossible
to out think the clown prince of crime- either the Joker's plan is simply too unpredictable,
or he's so insane that he thinks about things in a way that nobody else possibly could.
This unique way of tackling problems has seen the Joker defeat nearly every major superhero
at least once who's ever gone up against him.
He famously shamed Aquaman by turning his own people against him, and tricked Mr. Mxyzptlk
into giving him a portion of his reality warping powers only to create a 'backwards' version
of the world and torment Superman.
He's basically run circles around Batman for the majority of their shared existence, and
even turned former Robins against him.
One of the Joker's signature weapons is Joker Venom, a powerful gas with lethal side effects.
The venom comes in two forms, and can be turned into an aerosol which can be sprayed, or remain
in its natural liquid form which has no taste and no smell, making it nearly undetectable.
In either form it comes in two varieties, the lethal and non-lethal.
The non-lethal variety is believed to incapacitate a victim by hyperstimulation of the laughter
parts of the brain.
A mild dose can leave a victim laughing hilariously, while a concentrated dose can lead to a victim
being nearly paralyzed from the effects of the poison.
Prolonged exposure to the gas in even its non-lethal form however can have serious side-effects,
ranging from insanity to paralysis, and eventually death.
The lethal form of the poison acts much in the same way as the non-lethal form, only
it is delivered in a much more concentrated dose.
This leads to over stimulation of the laughter parts of the brain, sending a victim into
laughing spasms.
The spasms make it impossible for the victim to control their body, and the spasm muscles
also prevent the victim from being able to physically breathe.
Victims often also experience lockjaw, sometimes even biting down so hard that they shatter
teeth or bite their own tongues off, and the muscles tense so violently that they are left
with a large frozen grin similar to the Joker's own.
The Joker is completely insane, unpredictable, and a criminal genius, so how in the world
can you the average joe hope to succeed where super heroes have failed.
Well, first things first, you need precautions against the Joker's venom.
That means picking up a gas mask from your local surplus store and keeping it handy at
all times.
Also purchase a field water purification system while you're at it, because there's just no
telling what the Joker may have tainted around you.
Food should be safe enough as long as it is relatively dry items, the Joker venom is only
effective in liquid or gaseous forms.
The thing about facing off against the Joker though is that he’s probably not the only
threat you’re going to have to be watching out for.
Harlequin is almost certainly going to be part of the picture- wether the Joker himself
wants her to be or not.
She has a habit of showing up where she pleases, being both wildly independent and yet strangely
subservient to the Joker.
As the Joker’s foe though, you can be that Harlequin is going to be out for your blood
as well.
So we recommend you keep your head on a swivel, and if any attractive blondes start becoming
really flirty with you, it’s time to run the other way before you get a giant mallet
to the head.
Half of your winning your fight against the Joker is going to simply be avoiding Harlequin
herself, who’s sure to interject herself as frequently as possible.
Now you might be thinking that Harlequin could perhaps be used against the Joker, she is
after all his de facto girlfriend.
Maybe if you captured her and tied her up, threatened her life or just tried to use her
as a bargaining chip.
That’s likely not going to work though, as the Joker has shown many times that when
it comes to old Harle, he really couldn’t care less about her.
It’s a tragic story, but then again that’s madness for you.
To defeat the Joker himself though is going to require some real out of the box thinking.
Forget about trying to go toe-to-toe with him, other heroes have tried and he's beaten
most of them.
The Joker is in surprisingly good shape, although laughing does burn a great deal of calories
so perhaps that's no big surprise.
He's also a good hand-to-hand fighter though, so it doesn't really matter what fancy martial
arts moves you think you know, you're just not going to get the upper hand against a
skilled, and completely unpredictable Joker.
Plus, if he thinks he can't take you down physically, the Joker simply won't try to.
He'll get you another way- you'll hardly be the first big dumb brute the Joker has run
circles around.
The only real way to defeat the Joker is, well, to get him to quit fighting.
The Joker's motivations are completely unpredictable, and he is rich enough to not need to commit
crimes- yet he is routinely involved in the most petty aspects of his criminal empire's
operations.
He could be masterminding the greatest jewel heist in history one day, and acting as a
getaway driver for a convenience store robbery the next.
For the Joker, the fun is in the crime, and it doesn't much matter what role he plays.
He can however completely quit in the middle of his schemes.
He once quit in the middle of some bonafide Joker-villainy because he simply wasn't getting
the credit he felt he deserved for his crimes, and another time he quit in the middle of
a complex criminal plot with the Red Skull when he realized that the Red Skull was a
for-real Nazi.
Even the Joker doesn't like Nazis, and who can blame him really?
So maybe it's time to turn the tables on the Joker.
If he has a weakness, and it's difficult to call it that, it's definitely that he hates
when other people take the credit for his crimes.
Therefore to defeat the Joker, you're going to have to become the Joker.
And we actually mean this literally.
You are going to adopt your very own Joker persona, only make sure that you make it just
different enough to annoy the real Joker.
Perhaps wear his traditional color scheme of green hair and purple topcoat backwards-
give yourself purple hair and a green topcoat.
Or you could just try being Jared Leto.
Then, start doing crimes.
Only don't do normal crimes, you need to do insane crimes that really get the media's
attention.
Start a criminal ring that steals insulin from diabetic patients in one city, and sells
it to diabetics in an adjacent city.
Plan a heist to steal the Mona Lisa and other great works of art, and then take those works
of art and donate them to charity.
Get your gang of criminals to steal all the money in every tip jar in the city.
You need to get crazy, and then when you've got the media questioning who the real joker
is, you need to score your ultimate victory over the real Joker: get Batman to become
your archnemesis.
See, there's nothing the Joker hates more than having the spotlight stolen from him-
unless that's having the spotlight stolen by someone that is treading on his signature
style.
In the DC universe nobody's been crazy enough to pretend to be the Joker, which is why he'll
never see it coming.
And once you convince Batman that you're the real Joker and the Joker is the impostor,
it's going to emotionally devastate the real Joker.
He may not have much of an identity, but what little identity he does have is completely
tied up with Batman as his archnemesis.
If anybody took that away from him, there's no telling what the Joker might do- but given
his massive ego, we're willing to bet he'd be willing to call it quits on his whole feud
thing if you just agree to go back to being your regular dumb self and leave his life
alone.
Or, he might just squirt you in the face with a lapel flower that shoots acid when you meet
up to talk peace terms.
In all honesty, we're not really sure how to defeat the Joker, because if every major
DC superhero has failed at it, we don't see how we'd do much better.
But stealing his identity is probably a really good way to make him murderously mad.
How would you defeat the Joker?
What other villain or hero do you want to see us put you up against?
Let us know on our website and the comments, and if you enjoyed this video then check out
Pennywise vs Joker- who would win!
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