our next guest is a very talented comedian we couldn't be happier to have him with us tonight
and by the way you can see him live saturday at catch a rising star in providence rhode island
now he's making his uh television
network television debut and we're very proud that it's here ladies and gentlemen michael che oh man
this is uh this is this is fantastic man i'm from new york i'm from low east side
manhattan which is a gentrified neighborhood and uh if you don't know what gentrify means
it's basically when a bunch of white people move to a messed up neighborhood
and then open up cupcake stores everywhere for some reason
i don't know
even in a recession too and i know it's a recession because i went to one of those
occupied wall street marches because i wanted to see some protesters get tased and i saw a white
lady there holding the sign that said damn the police i wanted to rob her on principal
but just to see how committed she was it's cool i mean you know i said new york's cool it's it's
a it's a very liberal town you know and i get i get afraid with liberal audiences because you know
liberal audiences are sometimes more conservative than conservative audiences you know because
liberal people only people that get offended on behalf of people that's not even at the show
i don't know
i think i think i think i'm liberal because i'm poor and i'm black but i also listen to
a lot of gangster rap which is probably the most conservative thing you could possibly do
i didn't give money to mitt romney's campaign but i did buy kanye west tickets and that's similar
i basically just gave somebody money to listen how irresponsibly he wanted to spend my money
i don't know
i don't know people keep talking about the recession you know
it's not that bad man we still got shows on tv like the biggest loser
we got so much food in this country we got to figure out contests of how not to eat it all
messed up countries don't have that there's no biggest loser ethiopia
i know
i do i do think the gay marriage i think that's a big i think that's a big issue you
know i'm for gay marriage because i can't think of a good reason to be against it i
heard this one guy on tv he goes come on man you can't let gay people get married
what's next people are going to want to marry animals and i was like yep
hey man i eat animals if you want to marry one that's your business
i'm pretty sure i'm doing the worst thing to it
if i was a goat and you asked me if he was like yo goat would you rather be chopped up in this
jamaican lady stew or marry this strange farmer it wouldn't be the toughest decision i made as a goat
i don't want to be in love anyway man i don't i don't want to be in love i'm a big fan of like
though i'll take like over love any day notice the difference obligation if i like somebody i
get to like them till i don't like them no more and then i can stop taking their calls as a way
out is the end of it if i love somebody you love them forever even if you don't like them no more
and there's nothing worse than being in love with somebody you can't stand
man there's no edgy strategy out of love that's why if you watch the news you'll
see people kill loved ones all the time nobody ever kills people they like though
everybody everybody's watching you sleep in your bedroom window cause you seem pretty cool
this is really cool to do man you know because i was never really a good student in school
you know i was always bad i used to cut class a lot you know i had a teacher tell me in the
seventh grade i'd never amount to nothing and i never forgot that as long as i lived
and i seen it recently too in a supermarket by herself buying like 40 cans of cat food
and i stopped her too i was like hey miss conroy remember you told me i'd never amount to nothing
and she was like yes i looked dead in the face and i was like lucky guests
you