As you know, we celebrate all kinds of people on this show.
Young people, old people, amazing people,
even average people.
And there's no one more average than my executive producer
Andy.
Andy has been with the show from the beginning 16 years ago.
I mean, he's very funny.
He's not just a tremendous talent.
I'm sorry, I read that wrong.
He's just not a tremendous talent.
But Andy is as important part of this show as anything.
He really is.
A few years ago, we had an idea to give Andy his own segment
called Average Andy.
It features people who are the best in the world of what they
are teaching and doing, and then they teach Andy how to do it.
And he's learned almost nothing.
But it has been fun to watch.
And today I thought we would take a look at Andy's most
average moments.
One of the first things that we did
was we had some dancers from Magic Mike Live teach Andy
how to be a stripper, and it went as well
as you would expect in your mind right now.
This is the Dolphin Dive.
Yeah.
It's easy.
Do it one more time.
Oh, kick up first.
Oh, OK.
Then just roll down like that.
Right.
Kick it, baby!
[APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHING]
It just doesn't bend that way.
He was stiff as a board, just doing push-ups basically.
They were holding him.
Obviously it wasn't fair to make Andy compete with Magic Mike
dancers, so we had Andy train with someone
who didn't have washboard abs.
Here's Andy learning how to be a sumo wrestler.
So now you will dress me in the tradition of your people.
Yeah.
That seems like a lot there.
[INAUDIBLE]
It seems like a fire hose-worth.
OK.
What?
Wait, you laughing at my body?
[INAUDIBLE]
I'm sucking it in.
We both have dad bods.
It's OK.
It's hilarious that this is happening in Van Nuys
because it's, like, the porn capital of the world.
[INAUDIBLE]
Oh!
This is unbelieva-- oh.
OK.
Squat down.
Squat.
OK.
Oh, boy.
OK.
Balls!
OK.
Yeah, that's-- it's out!
What What happened?
My junk.
Hang on.
It popped out.
[INAUDIBLE]
Yeah.
OK.
Right on, bro.
Nice.
Yeah.
So since sumo wrestling wasn't Andy's thing,
we had him get in the ring with some Mexican wrestlers.
And that was when he-- well, we almost broke him.
Whose first with signature moves.
What do you got for a signature move?
Ugh!
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Wow.
Since I'm the tiny guy, I take advantage of my opponent's.
I normally punish them by carrying them and doing
crazy stuff.
OK.
Right.
Wait, we're just practicing.
Yeah, we're just practicing.
Just something easy, right?
OK.
Right.
Does it hurt?
No.
It's just easy.
Simple.
Wow.
I'm just waiting for things to stop spinning a bit,
and then we're going to continue.
OK.
I prefer the head-in-the-ass thing,
just if we're going to be honest as we review what we've done.
Now look.
There's another thing Andy has no business being a part of.
It's Cirque de Soleil.
Of course, Cirque Du Soleil is French for horny mimes.
Here's what happened when Andy joined them.
Alexey is our contortionist in the show
and he's the most flexible man in the world.
In the world?
The simplest thing is the split.
And then you can go this way.
OK.
Here.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
The fold.
[INAUDIBLE]
Someone should-- I'm sure the first time
someone helped you fold.
What I'm saying is maybe you can help me fold.
You're a little bit self-centered, Alexey.
OK.
Go.
OK.
Is it enough?
Is that as far as you were?
OK.
I thought that was your back!
I'm sorry.
I thought that was your ass.
I'm sorry.
I thought I was slapping his--
It's an honest mistake, Alexey.
I lost track exactly what was front and back.
It was an honest mistake, Andy, it was.
He may be average, but you're very entertaining.
And today, Andy, I'm going to give you
a chance to do something that you've never done before.
You're going to do tWitch's job.
No, no.
Yes.
No.
You know what?
No.
You have to.
I'll do it with--
No.
I can't dance.
We're going to play your favorite band.
I can't dance!
We're going to-- yes you can.
Stop!
Come here.
We're going to play Duran Duran.
You just danced through the audience.
Let's go!
Dance!
[MUSIC - DURAN DURAN, "HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF"]
(SINGING) In touch with the ground.
I'm on the hunt.
I'm after you.
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd,
and I'm hungry like the wolf.
Straddle the line in discord and rhyme, I'm on the hunt,
I'm after you.
Mouth is alive with juices like wine,
and I'm hungry like the wolf.
Stalked in the forest, too close to hide.
That wasn't the dance aisle, Andy.
You went through the wrong row.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer, and also some videos of Ellen
and other celebrities if you're into that sort of thing.
Ah!
[BLEEP] God [BLEEP].