So i've learned that these crystals were kind of foundational to country music.
Test test test. Let's go. So i've always had a dream
project. It's kind of a tv show.
I don't know how to do that. So this is actually just a quick
pit stop. The life of an instagram influencer never stops. I have more than 50 followers.
You know all those shows like Storage Wars, American Pickers,
Pawn Stars? I want to do something like that something centered around a specific object.
So for a while i wanted to be a spin on Antique Roadshow. I was going to call it
Antique Trap House or Antique Dubstep.
Neither of those worked out. But what i want to do is i want to
go to an antique shop and I want to find an object that tells a story about American History, world
history, technological history, whatever, but it tells a story about history, all in that object.
And i do have a name for it. And i've got uh got an intro too.
He's searching the country for an object that tells a story. He's the collector.
It's a tale. A promise. A victory.
The trophy.
All right we are here at the West End Antiques Mall. It's pretty awesome. I guess i have to
put on this now. Is it just me, or
does it seem unfair that none of them are wearing masks?
Wow this hummel is 245 dollars, that is insane.
How much are the crazy crystals? Oh i really want the crazy crystals. Oh yeah.
We're here. All right I'm back, it's a little bit later. I've done all my research.
Crazy Crystals a mineral water product
on the front you see the Crazy Water Hotel and plant and then the directions.
Yeah basically you took one of these crystals and mixed it with water as a mild laxative.
So i found a picture of what they actually look like
at the factory. I'm gonna spare you the Breaking Bad references here.
Well i might have to photoshop you know one guy in there or something. Now say my name.
Basically for much of its life it was marketed as this laxative. They came from Mineral Wells,
Texas which was a mineral springs that was huge starting around the early 1900s.
And mineral wells was the home of Crazy. I just love to imagine the city council
meeting where they say, yes let's put up a giant sign that says home of Crazy.
So mineral springs were huge everywhere. You've probably heard of Hot Springs, Arkansas,
but there were tons of them. Mineral Wells became one of those hot springs. You'd go there,
it's kind of like a resort experience to get healthy.
The dubious health claim behind Crazy Water is that a crazy woman — don't blame me that's
that's what they called her — she got less crazy after drinking from one of the wells.
Uh people try to say these days that there was lithium in the water. You know it could happen,
7-up used to have lithium in it, uh but i don't know i couldn't find proof of it.
The people who ended up owning Crazy Water thought that the Crazy hotel and Mineral
Wells would be this huge tourist attraction. That didn't pan out as much as they wanted and
so then they had to pivot. They ended up pivoting to selling their water everywhere and eventually
something that was even easier to send all around the country: Crazy Crystals.
They sold these crystals that were supposed to come from evaporated mineral well water.
Maybe Maybe. And in the beginning they said
that Crazy Crystals cured everything. They kind of settled on laxatives later on but in the early
days it fixed rheumatism, indigestion, insomnia, diabetes, kidney, liver troubles — this water has
an established reputation as being equal to if not superior to the famous waters of Carlsbad.
This water is very efficacious in the treatment of all female complaints. Okay. The merits of
Crazy well water is unquestioned for nervousness. That comes from this whole book about Crazy Water
by Gene Fowler. So what did the crazy people say was the reason that their Crazy water and
Crazy Crystals work? Mineral magic. This is possibly the best quote in the world:
you can analyze crazy water but you cannot tell why it does what grateful thousands say
it has done for them in a wide variety of ailments associated with faulty elimination. Elimination.
Crazy Water is not unique. This Gene Fowler book has
a ton of other Mineral Wells and mineral well products that came out at the time
not an unusual thing, but what makes Crazy water special is the music
Hello there friends once again it's time for the Crazy Water company to present the Crazy gang
and they invite you to enjoy the next few minutes of their guests. We've got all the fellas on hand.
So that is a clip from the Crazy Water Crystals program.
This was country music kind of before country music was really a thing,
and they included enthusiastic pitches for Crazy Water Crystals.
Every home needs Crazy Crystals because they help remove waste and impurities from the system
and these waste matters and impurities friends often contribute to the cause
of the so-called chronic ailments. In Texas, this country music was
unique and further afield it was really really unique. Um it wasn't just in Texas.
This historian Pamela Grundy, I found a paper by her about how Crazy Crystals opened offices
in the American Southeast. They promoted and featured hillbilly music, which had all the
music that came from the region of the Southeast. This is different instruments, different lyrics,
different subject matter than you would have seen anywhere else. And the only reason that
it got on the air is because it was sponsored by the people at Crazy Water. Radio's like this new
medium at the time, and they're desperate for sponsors, desperate for content too honestly.
And so all these hillbillies who were in the area were suddenly on the radio
cementing a new genre of music. The best way to give the system the
water it needs is to keep a glass handy constantly. Sip it, but sip lots of it
and that's the way to drink Crazy Water. Tons of bands it got Crazy stuck in front of
their name because Crazy Water asked them to. All of this is happening in the 1920s,
so it's creating this new type of music when country music didn't exist yet and when the
Grand Ole Opry opened to ads radio ads in 1934, Crazy Crystals bought the very first segment.
They were always more than a little bit sketchy. This article right here discusses
when Crazy Water got in trouble because some of their water contained a filthy decomposed
and putrid animal substance. That's never good. And in 1940 the Federal Trade Commission lays down
the law after sketchy ads like this on the box. The American Medical Association hated Crazy Water
and Crazy Water Crystals. They analyzed it they found out that Crazy Water Crystals was primarily
made up of Glauber's salt. Let's uh let's go ahead and google that. It's used for a horse laxative.
You're goddamn right. So what does this all mean?
There are so many ways you could go with this. You could talk about Lithium in the water,
you could talk about mineral water and scam medicine, but i was really struck by
the map in Pamela Grundy's paper. This is a poor area with music made by poor people
it breaks out because it is in this new medium that needs sponsors and it
needs content to fill up Crazy Crystals were a scam but their sponsorship supported this new
genre of music that is kind of still around today and if it hadn't been Crazy Crystals,
it would have been Sane Crystals, Sleepy Salts, or a million other imitators. I think this is
kind of a pattern. A new medium needs the most adventurous new advertisers to jump into it. It
was these Crazy Crystals that brought mountain people music to the world uh in a weird way,
and you know, maybe some relief in the bathroom, too. Buy crazy crystals right away
and start giving your family the benefit found in this fine mineral water.