This video is about "What to Do When You Get Stood Up for a Date" I'll explain what to do
when you get stood up for a date by someone and this applies to both men and to women too
To find out more please stay tuned to this video! Welcome to The SCG Show! The SCG Show
is officially sponsored by BetterHelp! The link to better help is in the description just down below
A few months ago when I was single and I went out on a lot of dates I matched with one particular
girl I had great chemistry with off a dating app. We spoke every day, texts constantly, we were attracted
to each other... I asked her out immediately and she said yes and we agreed to meet one Friday evening
for a drink. I thought to myself I'd drive as I was going to meet her at a particular bar which was
around 30 minutes away from my home. So I came home after working and got showered, dressed quite fancy
then was in my car to go meet her! "See you there!" I texted her to which she replied "I'm on my way too"
I cannot wait to meet her! On the drive there I was really excited and frankly I was a little nervous
as well. So I decided to listen to some music and enjoy the journey and try to calm myself down
it can be quite nerve-wracking meeting someone that you get on with so well
My timing was impeccable I was there 8pm on the dot and I parked outside the bar and then I walked
straight in! I reserved a table for two on a busy Friday night for drinks at this bar
and I sat there eagerly waiting my date to arrive! "I'm here" I texted her! She came online, read it
and never replied... and so I waited... and I waited and waited... then I ordered myself an espresso
and then I continued to wait some more and some more... I called her, she didn't pick up... I text her
again and she read it was online and didn't reply... The waiter kept coming over asking if i'd needed
anything, rubbing it in my face that the inevitable was happening... I was angry, i'd been clearly stood
up... there went my evening after a busy working week ....what an embarrassing way to start my weekend
Being stood up absolutely sucks, it happens to all sorts of people, men, women of all ages backgrounds
Here is what to do however when it unfortunately happens...
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So something that most people do after they get stood up is launch a terrain of abuse and
obscenities at their flaker = "You wasted my time... i came all this way... do you have any idea how far
i traveled... what the hell is wrong with you... why didn't you tell me this before i left home...!" You
have every right to feel angry and upset for being stood up. I know one woman who's a single parent
and had to move heaven and earth to get a babysitter, time off her second job etc
to go on a date with a guy who stood her up for no reason at all. Times precious to all of
us and stories like this and circumstances like being stood up can really knock your confidence
In fact it can put you off dating whatsoever but you need to despite it being easier said than done
Have a level of composure in this scenario and you must not contact them any further! Once I called
and didn't get my answer and texts were ignored as well, I pretty much knew that girl was not going
to turn up on that Friday date...I never heard from her again, no apology, no reason or excuse
was straight up ignored and flaked... I sat in that bar on my own on a Friday night for up to one hour
I had that espresso coffee and then got in my car and left! I really wanted to lay into her,
read her the riot act... show how upset I was, instead I remember telling myself the following
"This is inexcusable! Even if she came back with a reasonable answer as to why she stood me up
I cannot stand for this, i'm walking away!" and with that I deleted her number and I never
contacted her again, I never heard from her again and she never reached out... it was over
it was done... i tried... it wasn't meant to be... Guess what? Life goes on and so on and so forth....
Please do not bombard them once you know they're not meeting up with you
I like to think if someone's not contacted me in half an hour and not shown up in one
hour maximum that's a good threshold to know that they're not going to show up
Some negative dating experiences can really affect our mental health which is why i'd like
to tell you about my official sponsor BetterHelp! I've personally used BetterHelp and found it so
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I'm going to massively generalize here - let's explore the mindset of the flaker
the person who stood you up... they're very selfish with no compassion or empathy... they believe they're
the most important person on earth and will happily and willfully take advantage of everyone
they probably don't just flake on dates... they flake on friends
their work and even family! They've just concluded in their mind "I'm not going to show up and that's
it" they don't care about the repercussions... Modern society hide behind their phones as well
it's easier to reject someone over texts then face to face! My conclusion was the woman who stood me
up was immature, she agreed to me up, we got on but decided "well if i just ignore him, he'll go away!!"
It's a sad way to be & childish, but if i'm gonna cancel someone, i'm gonna say i'm cancelling
if i'm rejecting same thing... i know it's gonna hurt that other person maybe but it's better than being
a flaker! It's easier for the flaker to be immature than be an adult... people are very fickle these days
hence why they flake... One woman stood me up because she got invited to a club with friends
One woman turned up to a date so early so she can go clubbing afterwards... the flaker may have
had a better offer for them... i'm not saying a date with you would not be wonderful but a better offer
for their own selfish, entitled immature needs... You have dodged a bullet by getting stood up trust me
especially if your dating needs are mature worthwhile and genuine... if they were not going
to stand you up on this date, they would have done so later down the line... suddenly and dramatically
it's worse when you're way more invested, there's feelings involved. you've got plans etc
The mindset of the flaker is well they're just a big fat flaker, it's unfortunately what they do...
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I know that when you get stood up by anybody on any circumstance it's like a massive blow to the
ego... you'll want to turn inwardly "was it something i said... something i did... where did i go wrong"
You'll catastrophize and over analyze every conversation, text, call and behavior... this is
not healthy because you're dealing with a time waster, a flaker, a childish immature person
You did nothing wrong and even if you assume you did then this person was never
worth it or good enough for you and you'll never be good enough for the wrong person
Here's what i did after being stood up when i got into my car angry... friends had texted me to tell
me they were nearby going for drinks... I decided to join them, i assumed it would take my mind off
things... it didn't. I had one drink, I was driving and I felt sad... i tried not to think about the flaker...I
tried just to part my emotions and it didn't work... my friends were in a good mood, it was Friday night
the bar was buzzing, internally i was upset, fed up and just did not want to be there or feel present
"I'm going home" I said. I drove home got in my pjs, put on some Netflix and just chilled whilst
eating a packet of Doritos. You might say that's quite sad but it worked! The next day I got up
refreshed, still a bit upset but at the same time ready to move on with my life... Go home
maybe you do want to get drunk with friends but drunk can lead to bad decisions
some stuff you'll probably regret... I advise to just go home, get into comfortable clothes, throw
a mini pity party for yourself, unwind, put on your favorite tv show or a comfort movie, read a book
play some video games or just watch YouTube and just chill out! Basically unwind rather than trying
to paint the town red and ignore your emotions and feelings of rejection and not feeling good enough
I have a specific policy with dating at the beginning stage - one strike, you're out! If i see
any sign of a red flag, toxic behavior, disrespect I will not speak to or pursue a woman any further
I remember one girl flaked on me once but she told me she was sick
and decided to meet me a week late...r we agreed but it was a terrible date
so i think if a person flakes and without a legit reason aka a plan b, my suggestion is to move on
Here's the truth = there are good, genuine, healthy people out there people who will reply will
communicate with you, people who make an effort who want to meet someone, they want to meet you, they
want to date you, they want to give you a chance and get to know you... unfortunately if you have
been stood up it was just the wrong person and you'll never be good enough for the wrong person
That next day following being stood up , her number was deleted from my phone
and I was on the apps ready to meet someone new. One door closes another one opens... never beg
a person to meet you who's a flaker...never ask for closure or a reason... just conclude that they
are what they are a complete time waster and move on to find someone who acts in the opposite way
This is the healthiest easiest and most effective approach to getting stood up and what to do after!