-Got a piece of fuzz.
-Can I have a fry?
-Why did you order a salad if you wanted all my fries.
-Whoa look over there!
Fries before guys.
-Where’s a guy?
-Oh wait no. Oh my god -What?
It’s not a guy, it's a girl.
That’s my ex-boyfriends girlfriend.
-Yeah that was…that was her.
Brad’s dating this new girl named Rebecca,
they say she only shops at Rag and Bone
and buys exclusively from heels.
-Who’s they? -People.
-Okay, okay first of all why do you care?
And second of all, I bet you have a lot in common.
-I want her ensemble.
-The f*ck?
-Next person in line please step down.
-Absolutely no way.
-She’s following me.
-Okay, and then I went to the gym, and then…
-Oh my god Kristy! She probably just lives in your neighborhood!
-Exactly, exactly! That’s why she moved there, because she’s stalking me.
I think I need to confront her the next time I see her.
-What?
-Who are you waiting on besides Ted?
-Just…
-Hi!
-What?
-Um...this is my new coworker I was telling you about?
Okay...
-Oh, I get it, you’re joking!
Ted always said you were the funniest of all his friends.
Well I’m gonna run to the rest room I’ll be right back.
-Listen up; you need to chill, got it?
You’re acting like a straight up insecure, women-hating child.
Clearly she’s a nice person otherwise why would Ted be friends with her?
This is not homeland!
-She’s wearing the same coat.
-Oh my god, Kristy.
-Okay.
But what if she’s single, white femaling me?
-Okay you know you sound like a character written by a man
in an 80’s film, right?
-I loved fatal attraction.
-Why is this place so empty? God d*mn Oscar board?
-So good! So good. -That was great! I liked it.
-I always thought that Maura Tierney was like the actress of her generation.
-Ooooh. -Yeah.
-Bold assertion, bold.
-Yeah, I love her. -I do too.
-I think they have beer, -Yeah
-do you guys want one?
-I think I’m good for now.
-Okay. Okay, yeah! -I’ll join you.
-Hey.
I have to be honest; I know you used to date Brad too.
-So that’s why you’re following me.
-No, I just moved to the East Village.
And you know I’m not dating Brad anymore, right?
-Wait what?
-Yeah. He turned out to be a little odd.
Like, stop me if I’m saying too much or if you don’t want to talk about it,
but, did he always have to light candles before you had sex?
-Oh my God, yes!
-I got burnt!
-Me too
-Ohh the worst! --Yeah, it’s crazy right!
That’s not a thing!
-Right? -What?
Wait, absolutely, no way…Brad!
-Hi! -Yeah, bye!
[Laughing]
-Wow, cannot believe that. -Damn!
-Well this seems like,
the beginnings of a beautiful friendship, doesn’t it?
-Yeah
-Looks like you two are getting along. Called it!
-To Maura Tierney.
-The voice of our generation.