- I'm going to share with you what I'm reading right now.
If you want some recommendations of fabulous books
that really help you feel amazing
keep watching and share my current favorites.
So this book, I love this book.
It was written by a doctor and, you know
I spend my entire life telling people
that thoughts become real, that your body
makes your thoughts.
People go, oh, that's just woo woo.
You're just one of those woo, woo therapists.
I love it when doctors write about what I believe
and this is a doctor and I love even the title,
"It's All In Your Head."
It's amazing stories of her life as a doctor
dealing with people with real physical illnesses
that were caused by their thinking.
Because every day we make our thoughts
real. If we're embarrassed, that thought becomes real.
We go bright red.
If we're sad, a thought can make our eyes fill up with tears.
If we're thinking about sex we can become physically aroused
by a thought.
Think about hunger and your tummy might rumble.
But she goes way further.
She shows you with real severe kinds of illnesses,
even epilepsy, and they all trackback
to how someone thought and she had incredible results.
And I have read this book.
I reread this book every year because I love it,
I love her. I think she's amazing.
I highly highly recommend it.
My next book, this is a favorite.
"The Body Keeps Score."
It's about how trauma stays in our body
and what can we do about it?
Now you might think, oh this is just for people like you
that are therapists, or maybe I'm talking
to the 13,000 therapists I've trained,
but I'm not talking to you.
Because way before, I was a therapist, I read books like this
and they educated me, they fascinated me,
they were compelling.
And he talks so much about trauma
and how individuals react and how,
he describes a terrible car accident.
One person was traumatized one wasn't
and he even goes back to explain how that is
and what you can do about it.
This is a great book.
It's been around forever.
"The Body Keeps Score," because the body really
does keep score.
The body doesn't lie.
The mind can lie, but the body never lies.
And our feelings are the most real thing we have.
And often, when we're feeling we got an angry headache,
a thumping headache, a screaming migraine
it's because we are feeling angry.
We get an upset stomach or an angry rash.
The body doesn't lie, "The Body Keeps Score."
Then here comes another one, and I love this book.
"Feelings Buried Alive Never Die."
I tell all my clients, look, I can only tell you the truth.
Your feelings are the most real thing you have
and you must feel your feelings
until they no longer require to be felt.
That means you can't Netflix your feelings,
eat your feelings, drink your feelings,
medicate your feelings or even shop your feelings
because "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die."
You can push your feelings down with cake or a beer,
but they come back, they actually regroup
and they come back stronger than ever.
And feelings are like a little classroom
of 10-year-old children going, hey, notice me I'm here.
Notice me, pay attention.
When you pay attention and go, oh, I'm feeling envy
or jealousy or rage or hurt or anger,
and I'm going to feel it and sit with it and even accept it
and it will go away really fast, yes.
But when you try and eat it, stuff it down,
distracts yourself, they just come back.
So I love this because it's all about your feelings,
the most real thing you ever have.
They are your friend; they're your confidant, your advisor.
Get used to feeling.
Your feelings going, hey, I feel this.
Years ago, I was talking to someone
about my little girl's father.
And I said, oh, he's so annoying
and she said, oh, he's a great guy.
You can't say that.
I said, listen, I can say whatever I want.
I'm telling you that I feel very, very disappointed
in the fact that he's not showing up for my daughter.
And you can tell me he's a great guy,
of course, he's a great guy, but I'm allowed
to feel what I feel, and you can't say don't feel that,
you shouldn't say that because I feel it.
And if I feel it, I have a choice.
Suppress it, and whatever you suppress
just comes back stronger or say it.
I feel hurt, I feel let down, I feel disappointed.
I had a great friendship with him
but I was allowed to say today I feel let down,
I feel disappointed.
And no one can tell you shouldn't feel that,
mustn't feel that, don't feel that.
You're allowed to feel what you feel,
you're allowed to say what you feel.
And if you don't, I promise you,
your body has to do it for you.
My favorite expression in the whole world is this,
the feeling that cannot find his expression
in tears will cause other organs to weep.
What does that mean?
It means you're not crying, your body's crying.
You're not expressing pain, so your body is in pain.
Your body is weeping and crying Because you are not feeling.
And many, many years ago my then partner had cancer
and he was very English, very stiff.
I said, don't, don't cry.
You mustn't cry.
You can come visit me but I don't want any crying.
I can't do crying.
I immediately got conjunctivus.
I thought, wow, my mind is so smart.
I don't want to cry in front of him
because he can't handle it but now
I've got conjunctivitis, I can cry all the time.
Oh, your eyes look so sore.
How is this smartness of the mind, not my mind,
everyone's mind, the innate intelligence of your body.
You don't express something, I will do it for you.
That's why irritable people tend to have irritable bowel.
It's why people who are angry tend to have angry rashes.
People are irritable, have itchy skin.
It's really fascinating.
Bulimic will always say that makes me sick,
and I'm so sick of that.
I love the fact that your feelings are real.
I just am totally in love with Bruce Lipton.
I think he's amazing.
I love the fact that he talks about our genes
that they are just a tiny, tiny percentage of us.
I love "The Biology of Belief,"
that your beliefs affect your biology.
I've been telling people that for years,
your beliefs affect your biology.
And if you change your beliefs, guess what?
You can change your biology.
Really? sure.
Change your beliefs about your fertility,
you become more fertile.
Change your beliefs about your metabolic rate,
it will go up.
Change your beliefs about your coping skills
and you'll cope better.
Change your beliefs about how lovable you are
and other people see you as more lovable.
This book I love because it was written by a scientist.
And when scientists write about "Mind to Matter,"
that the mind is more important,
that the mind is running the show,
you understand well, what does that mean?
It means you can change your mind.
This is your mind.
Your mind is yours to direct, to change, to influence.
Your mind influences your body
and you can totally influence your mind.
And when you do that, your life can be amazing.
And if you think that my mind influences my body
but I can influence my mind and say, I love this.
I've got this, I'm good at this,
then it's extraordinary.
And finally "Into the Abyss."
I love this because this man, too, is a neuroscientist
who writes about the mind, how everything starts
with a mind.
You know, there's a song called "It Started With A Kiss."
It didn't start with a kiss.
It started with a thought about kissing someone
and thought comes in front of everything.
Your thoughts control your feelings,
your feelings control your actions and your events
which you justify by going back to the thought.
I think I'm not enough, I feel sad,
angry, annoyed, pissed off.
The feelings I get come from the thought
and the way I behave, I'm defensive, I'm angry,
I'm depressed.
My behaviors come from a thought that comes
from a feeling that influences a behavior
and an action.
And when you change your thoughts to I am enough,
now I feel good.
I feel confident and optimistic and positive.
I can take risks.
So my behaviors are different, they are good behaviors.
I can take risks.
I'm nice to people, I'm polite, I'm calm,
I'm happy, I'm optimistic.
Everything starts with a thought
and this guy tells you how to change your thoughts.
I love "Into The Abyss."
So these are my favorite books.
I can hear you say, do you ever read for pleasure?
Yeah, I'm reading this book.
I love this book about the guy
from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
I met them many years ago.
One of them lives on the canal where I live
or at least he used to and I just love this book
because it's a story of hope and vision
and making your dreams real and the fact that
when you've got everything, you haven't got anything
if you don't like yourself.
It's a great book.
My last book, well, if you're going to read a great book
you might as well read this book.
People say, how can you say your own book is good?
Well, I always say if you don't believe in yourself,
how can anyone else?
I actually really do love this book.
You know why?
Because it's a story, my neighbor said to me,
hey, I read your book.
You know, I cried from the beginning to the end,
but it's changed me.
Someone else said, someone wrote to me
and said I got to chapter two about alcoholism.
I had to stop, take a deep breath and go, wow,
you could be writing about me.
This is a story of alcoholism,
OCD, compulsive eating, bulimia.
It's a story of someone who felt they weren't good enough.
It's really a book about hope because it tells you
10 client stories.
What happened to them?
How did they get to be the way they were?
How did they change?
How did they become completely transformed
in just one session?
You might think that's not possible.
Read this book.
It has in it four audios, one on confidence
one on installing an inner cheerleader.
I've just recently been giving that program
to schools, 500 schools in the UK, more than that.
and many in America and they all say the same thing
that installing the cheerleader,
it's had the most profound impact on the students.
They're happier, they get on with each other,
but they're better at studies.
Their confidence has gone up and their self-esteem
has gone up to.
And if you read this book, if you just play the audios,
it will help you tremendously.
If you don't like it, I will personally refund you.
I know this book can change your life.
That sounds arrogant, but I've been doing this for 34 years.
That's all I do, help people change their lives.
This will help you, and if it doesn't,
you've heard of me; I'll personally
give you your money back.
Thanks for tuning in.
They say in Russia, a person who doesn't read
is no better than someone who can't read.
And actually, I work with many successful people.
You know what they have in common?
They watch TV less and they read more.
Make it a resolution to read more.
It will change your life.
Thanks for tuning in.
Let me know what you think of this book
and read all of these ones too.
If you want a copy of my new book,
"Tell Yourself A Better Lie,"
clink the link below and then go ahead and subscribe
to my channel, so you don't miss out
on all my new future stuff.
See you soon.
Check out my next video here.
- If people actually knew this shame
that I have, no one would ever love me,
no one would ever accept me, no one would ever want to
hang out with me, be my friend, they would outcast me.
That was the internal conversation.
If they knew this shame and insecurity of mine.
And so I think that's why I held onto her 25.