This episode is brought to you by Simple Contacts.
Head on over to simplecontacts.com/rogue or use promo code "ROGUE" at checkout
and get 20 dollars off your order, also make us look good.
And you get to see.
Yeah, like Vision... with actual vision.
Not the dumb robot.
That's right, I called him dumb.
He's an android, he's not a robot. >> Whatever.
Man, if you had told me it was mad scientist day,
I would have worn my mad scientist lab coat.
Does this read as mad scientist?
I was hoping for like, insane butcher or something.
I bought this from a butcher shop in Montana, real thing.
Like, I had a show, and I was going to do some stuff and then, in fact that's what all this...
this is all the fake-
You've never washed that, have you?
Is it crunchy?
It's kind of crunchy!
Stop!
Stop, stop.
♪ [ "Springside" by Stan Forebee ] ♪
[ robot voice ] Frail human bodies bleed chocolate. Noted.
Let's talk about one of the greatest legends I've ever heard, and I've never paused to
even test it at all, as fellow Legend Tester.
This whole thing about chocolate syrup as fake blood in black and white movies.
Real or not real?
Yes, absolutely.
It is very striking, and supposedly provides more of a contrast than regular red fake blood.
So when things came along into color, everyone was trying to figure out the best kind of
blood and how to get it to look.
In the early days, I know that black and white was the only choice.
It was the only game in town.
But I think it was the Adams Family that had like a super colorful set in order to create
these high-contrast things that would pop in black and white, but now we live in an
age where black and white is like an aesthetic.
An intentional aesthetic.
The same way, like, shooting at 24 frames per second instead of
high frame rate, or high dynamic range is.
Yeah, and really what you have to remember is that in a movie
your blood doesn't necessarily have to look real.
It just has to fit whatever mood you're trying to convey.
And you can see that!
For example, if you watch Kill Bill parts one and two, it's very clear that Quentin Tarantino
loves the idea of a super viscous, almost like gut-like,
you know, like it's jelly basically.
But actual blood, you get cut, it's runny, and then you know it coagulates, right? >> Right.
In a movie, you don't have time to convey the bloodiness of blood, so instead
I assume that you make it super viscous so that it just feels like it's mid-coagulation at all time?
Yeah, you know it really depends, because sometimes you see blood that's just a fine spray.
Or sometimes you see like Reservoir Dogs, where he's wallowing around in the back seat,
and it's thick and really bright red.
Sounds like he's constantly choking and drowning in his own blood. >> Yeah.
And then you've got like, old Italian horror films that are really, really bright.
Some of the blood is almost like pink-ish in hue, like a magenta, because they couldn't
quite figure it out.
But again, with the horror movies--like, most notably, Night of the Living Dead, 1967,
black and white film.
They used a lot of chocolate syrup, so whenever like a zombie was munching on a limb,
they would take this fake limb, and just douse it in chocolate syrup and the extras would
just have to dig in.
[ dramatic music cue ]
[ mechanism of a shotgun cocking ]
It occurs to me, that that's one of the other benefits of using a super viscous liquid like
chocolate syrup, is that you can capture what looks like that mid-drippage thing.
It stays longer, so that you're able to get the shot.
Because if what you need is what looks like a zombie eating something, you don't want
it to run immediately off.
You want it to be kind of slowly dripping down. >> Right.
Exactly, and you know again, it all depends on what type of feeling you're trying to convey.
Because you probably wouldn't want to use really viscous blood that you can feel, and
how thick and gross it is, you wouldn't want to use that in a romantic comedy.
Like, maybe someone slips and busts their nose, and then you throw chocolate syrup running
all down their face.
I'm sorry this isn't a--what romantic comedies do you watch?
It's one I'm making, actually.
Really‽
Yeah, I'm working on--it gets real.
[ laughter ] It gets real.
Well let's do this, we'll have a chance to revisit what looks good on camera versus what
looks good in person on stage, and compare it to actual blood and all that stuff.
I assume at some point, there's going to be no shortage of actual blood on our show.
But for now, I just want to see how it looks!
Can we shoot something with, you got the chocolate syrup!
I got some chocolate syrup.
You're going to be bleeding, because as you well know, I hate chocolate.
Wait, oh that's right.
I'm looking for something chocolatey, right Jason?
Gross.
I'm not a big fan.
>> You don't like chocolate though.
That's true. >> Brian: Oh!
As a matter of fact, when we did the miracle fruit, that was your complaint about Guinness!
It's chocolatey.
Yes, yes!
I hate chocolate.
I know, I know!
But then, oh but that at least means you won't be eating my flesh.
Yet.
♪ ["Dueling Duality" by Cullah] ♪
♪ ["Dueling Duality" by Cullah] ♪ We shot a thing!
♪ ["Dueling Duality" by Cullah] ♪ We sure as hell did.
[ laughter ]
And along the way we discovered some of the benefits of chocolate syrup.
Especially, if this is going to read as blood,
then it's pretty great the way it's kind of flash-frozen.
Like, even now, you can see a droplet mid-formed over my eye.
Also there's chocolate syrup in my eye.
I have to see that even in living color, this reads as blood, looking at you.
Except for the brown, but if you were just walking down the road right now, there is
no way anyone would drive by and see you and not think "blood."
The mere fact that everything moves slowly makes it much, much easier for production.
We were able to do two or three different takes of each individual piece of the silly
vignette that we did.
I guess we should show it.
You want to show it? >> Yeah, yeah.
And then we can hug it out?
>> Uh, no no. >> In fact, let's just hug it out right-
>> I'm good. I don't need a hug. >> Just while you're watching this, everyone at home know I'm hugging it out with Jason.
Iko Uwais and Sam Looc have taught me moves!
No!
There's chocolate in my eyes.
[ deep, ominous bell rings out ]
[ foot drags through rubble ]
[ exasperated sigh ]
[ metal clanging of the loose gate latch ]
[ light breeze whistles in the air ]
[ sigh ]
[ dogs barking off in the distance ]
[ low ambient build, sharply dropping off at the door opening ]
>> Hey, buddy.
Hey. >> What can I do for you?
Uh, I'm looking for Gertrude?
Jason!
>> Yeah. You're Jason!
(nervous) >> Yeah.
Good to see you, buddy!
Yeah, thanks.
You guys are out here.
>> Way out here.
I sprang my ankle.
Nah-no-no Gertrude, she's around. >> Good.
We're going to Dairy Queen.
>> Yeah? Yeah, we got reservations.
D-Q. >> Yeah.
Big "D," little "Q."
Yep. >> I don't know what the "Q" stands for.
Queen.
You know what--hold on, one second.
Just got to real quick, let me wrap this up.
Yeah.
[ body thuds ]
[ sharp metal rings out ] [ laughter ]
Sorry, Gertrude--uh, you wanted to meet Gertrude!
And you met her on... the Craiglist?
Craigslist.
What is it a list of?
Why do they call it "Craigslist?"
I don't know.
>> Who's Craig, anyway?
I haven't met him. I'm just here for-
And you wanted to, yeah! >> -Gertrude.
Is she o- are you okay?
[ stammering ]
B-R-B, that's Internet talk.
Be right back, yeah.
I've heard that one.
>> T-T-Y-L, hold on. >> T-T...
Y-L.
[ more heavy thudding with big swings and slicing ]
[ sharp rising accent ] Hoh!
Sorry, you ever have one-it's just one of those days.
Gertrude!
Yeah.
>> She's in the back, you want to come on in?
There-
there's no back.
Just give these to her?
I'm going to put them here.
Quick question.
How fast can you run? >> Tell her I'll email her.
I just hurt my ankle. >> Ahh, oh!
[ deep bassy wind ramps up ] That's an interesting question. >> You did?
[ deep bassy wind ramps up ] >> You... hurt your ankle? So you're not very fast at running.
[ deep bassy wind ramps up ] These are for you.
No, I got--my mom just called, I got a thing.
Let me just uh, I've got Gertrude in the back, I'm going to bring her on out.
>> Okay cool. You do that.
You've got a ten second head start.
[ a menacing buzz emerges from the swirling wind ] Ten.
[ a menacing buzz emerges from the swirling wind ] Nine.
[ a menacing buzz emerges from the swirling wind ] Eight.
[ a menacing buzz emerges from the swirling wind ] Seven.
[ a menacing buzz emerges from the swirling wind ] Six.
Five--just kidding!
[ a curdling shriek echoes out ] [ spooky laughing ]
[ a sharp rising accent ]
[ wind dies down as the accent rings out ]
Jason Murphy, I believe that we can all grow as individuals and learn to become better people.
Sure, yeah what are you, a Buddhist now?
You doing some meditation, what's going on?
I used to be, an eye-elitist.
I don't know what that means.
I've, for 25 years, worn hard contact lenses to correct my astigmatism and shape my eyes
or whatever.
And yes, I knew that along the way, soft contacts, especially the daily contacts, are able to
correct astigmatism and all that stuff.
But I've never felt like I could be part of that privileged society until our friends
over at Simple Contacts reached out to us.
So is this a replacement for visiting the optometrist?
No, and every area is different.
In the case of Texas, because my subscription was out of date, I had to go to an actual
optometrist.
I went to the mall, and within an hour, I had an up-to-date prescription.
They gave me the stuff and they were like, "So what do you want?
Hard contacts?
Soft contacts?
You want eye glasses?" and I was like, "Yes to all of those!"
"At the same time!"
[ laughter ]
I'm super protected against eye damage.
I have x-ray vision now!
I showed the optometrist the website and she was like, "Oh, no I get it!
Yes, this is our preferred brand, these are the dailies.
You're going to look good and feel great!"
She didn't say that, that was me projecting.
Now that I have my prescription, I can continue to renew it using their crazy app.
I actually took the test.
You set it up, you face the camera, you line up your face, take ten steps back, you read
the little tiny numbers on there and then you pick your brand.
You're good.
Like hey, are your eyes pretty much the same as they were, I don't know, 365 days ago?
Yes they are?
Great, have more contacts.
Go to simplecontacts.com/rogue, or use "ROGUE" that's r-o-g-u-e at checkout.
You get 20 dollars off your order, make us look good, and most importantly you join that
sweet elite society of people who get to see clearly, and have it be comfortable.
This guy, he'll never know, he wont even wear his regular glasses.
Where am I?
Brian?
Is that you?
Let me just feel your face.
No!
I miss you so much.
— CC BY BIZARRE MAGIC — [branding furnace hissing]
[static and wind]
[ gross squirting of chocolate ] [ laughter ]
Oh god dammit.
Oh Jesus Christ!
F--- you.
F--- you. F--- you.
No!
Okay, all right. Let's get this.
This is why it's viscous, this is why it matters.