Alright, alright.
I know you guys must be struggling right now, seeing as it’s November and all but no need
to worry, you know I always got your back.
Here’s my definitive guide on how to survive the lack of nuts this November.
So that once December rolls around, you can unload the nut that will be heard across the
galaxy.
Rule #1 Unfollow and block every single hot female on Instagram.
The temptation of hot instagram butt girls popping up on your feed or on your explore
page is too much for even the most hardened No Nut veteran.
As any veteran will tell you, it’s not about mental toughness and resisisting, it’s about
not putting yourself in a position to fail in the first place.
So for me, I had to unfollow Sommer Ray, your mom, Aphrodite, Daisy Keech, and my stepsister.
It’s different for everyone.
So figure out who your biggest obstacles to the No Nut are, and make sure you unfollow
and block them.
These women are onto us.
They’d love nothing more than to see us fail.
This is why you have to block them to prevent these ladies from sliding into your DMs and
tempting you with the forbidden fruits, if ya know what I mean.
By week 2 you might have to unfollow every female because it’s been statistically proven
that when you’re on NoFap, your standards go down by 7% each and every day you don’t
fap.
This is why I had to move all the hourglasses out of my house.
They were too nicely proportioned and staring at me all the time.
By weeks 3 and 4, even your male homies might start looking appealing, this is why I recommend
rule #2.
#2 Walk around with a blindfold and walking cane.
You want to remove the possibility of an attractive female walking past you
It’s only safe to take it off when you’re in your own home.
But if you have a stepmom or stepsister, then make sure you wear it in your own house as
well.
Tell your sister that she’s not allowed to have friends over because it could potentially
damage your streak.
Another option is to stay home from school and rent a cabin in the woods where you’ll
be alone and without an internet connection.
However, by weeks 3 and 4, you might also need to barricade the windows because some
of those deer and bears can start looking thick with 3 C’s after you’ve gone long
enough on NoFap.
You must be ready to take any and all precautions to prevail in this fight.
Rule #3: Destroy your wifi router
If you still have wifi, you’re doing No Nut November wrong.
You’re setting yourself up for failure.
You are WEAK.
Don’t you know that you will be too tempted to access your favorite sites, like coolmathgames.com????
If you’re truly committed to the cause, then take your wifi router outside right now
and destroy it with a bat or throw it out your window.
Whatever you need to do to make sure it’s no longer working and can’t hurt anyone
anymore, make sure you do it.
Rule #4: Learn braille
If you’re gonna be blindfolded for the next month, you have to learn how to get around
effectively and know where you’re going.
Otherwise you won’t know where you’re going and accidentally walk into the girls
locker room instead of the bathroom, or even worse you might accidentally walk into your
stepsister’s room.
And you know damn well, all the ladies are conspiring against men during this time.
Don’t let them tempt you!
Until December 1st that is… then hell yeah let the tempt you all they want!
Rule #5: Throw out all of the lotion in your house
You want to create obstacles that prevent you from breaking the streak.
If there’s no lotion in your house, you’ll be less likely to break the streak because
it would be more painful to fap than it is to not.
And to those of you guys rough dogging it, I’m ashamed of you.
Rule #6: Throw out all of the tissues in your house
You want to create an environment where fapping would be more pain than joy.
Imagine rough dogging it with no lotion, no tissues to clean up after with,
You’re gonna be wacking it so hard, you’re gonna chafe your skin, and after the nut,
since there are no tissues in your house, the post-nut syndrome is gonna be even worse
because you’re gonna have nut drip all over your leg, your stomach, hell maybe even your
chin!
Bonus tip: Get a flu shot.
It’s flu season bro.
If you get sick and you’re not allowed to have tissues in your house, it’s gonna really
sick.
So get that vaccine and save yourself a lot of trouble.
Rule #7: Take your phone out right now and smash it.
Phones in the 21st century have become a portal to pussy, this is absolutely unacceptable
this month.
If you’ve downloaded my texting course before, then delete your account, you can’t use
the forbidden texting techniques that I teach that are guaranteed to get you laid.
Knowing how to flirt with a girl over text, how to make her text you first, how to build
sexual tension, and my 100 best opening lines to get her to respond and start liking you…
these are all too powerful and dangerous to use during this time of year.
Since I’m trying to look out for you guys, I’ve actually closed sign ups for The Godly
Texting Guide and made it unavailable.
You see that?
What other youtuber is out here NOT getting paid, in order to prevent you guys from fulfilling
your No Nut November destiny.
But if you want to get your hands on it when it’s re-released, then click the link below
and sign up to get notified, in the meantime, I’ll also be sending you an email breakdown
of my tinder screenshots and how I send the perfect first message.
Now that you have all the tools necessary to survive No Nut November, it’s time to
put you to the test… you ready?
Haha got you motherfucker!!!
I was jerking you this whole video!!!
You really thought Based Muthafuckin Zeus was gonna go a WHOLE month with No Nuts?
C’mon bro.
I can barely go 60 seconds without one with all the goddesses lining up to test-drive
the Zeus.
Oh man you guys are so gullible.
But now that we’re all on the same page, I wanted to take the power vested in me as
God, and let you know that it’s A-OKAY for you to break the streak this November.
In fact, I’m encouraging it.
So nut away my disciples, knowing it won’t hurt your chances of getting into MT.
Olympus.
And if this video made you break your streak then leave a comment below and let me know.
Also, send this video to your friends and see if you can make them fall for it as well.
Don’t forget to check the links in the description to get your hands on my Tinder screenshots
and breakdown of how I use it to get the ladies.
Zeus out!