- Hey playas do you wanna talk to your crush
but are always met with them being in a group
with their friends?
Situations like that can suck sometimes
if you don't know how to handle them properly.
That's why in this video I'm gonna share
a few tips on how to navigate
those type of encounters so that you could spend
one on one time talking to your crush.
♪ This is The Josh Speaks ♪
♪ Watching The Josh Speaks ♪
- The biggest challenge most people tell me they run into
is finding the right moment to talk to their crush
because they're always surrounded by people
but I wanna challenge you back on this
and say, if your crush was by themselves
would it be easier for you to talk to them?
If your answer is no then the problem
isn't that they're with a group of people
it's that you don't know what to say to start
that conversation with them.
Whenever you see your crush I'm sure your first instinct
is to single them out, talk to only them
and to hope that no one in the group interferes
but the problem with that process
is that you're not giving the group a chance to accept you.
When a group of people are talking
and someone new enters that bubble the best thing you can do
is start a conversation with everyone that's around.
Imagine this, if everyone is collectively talking,
when someone new enters the group
and disrupts their conversation.
Now everyone's gonna be sitting there curious
as to why you're there and of course
they're not gonna be able to jump back
into their normal conversation because you're there
for a specific purpose that they don't know.
It's like if you're talking to your friend
about something personal and some random person walks in.
Of course you're gonna stop talking about whatever it is
you were talking about and wait 'til they leave
or wait 'til they explain why they're there.
So, in order to avoid that awkwardness,
the best thing you can do is to jump into that group
with a question to ask them.
Starting off with something like hey guys,
I need your opinion on something is a good way
to start laying the road as to why you're there.
I know you're thinking, well what do I talk to them about?
But the truth is, you can talk to them about anything.
Ask for their opinions on a new movie that came out
or something that just happened in school.
Anything that they can have an opinion on
is a good question to ask.
I would stay away from things that are so specific
that only maybe one or two people in the group would know.
Keep it more general so that everyone can give
their opinion on it.
Wait a minute, how does talking to everyone
get you specifically closer to your crush?
Don't worry we're gonna get there.
The purpose of asking a general question
is to get you involved in the group.
For you to not be standing there awkwardly
without saying anything.
But once you ask that general question,
one of two things may happen.
The first is that someone will stand up
and bravely speak to you.
They'll share their opinion and they'll get
the conversation rolling or the second.
Everyone just kind of looks at each other
and sits there awkward and confused, not saying anything.
In the first situation, if someone starts talking
that's a great sign because now it gives you
the opportunity to talk to someone else in the group
and say, well what do you think?
And that same type of followup
works in the second situation too.
So let's say you're sitting around and no one
is speaking, it's awkward and silent.
All you have to do is point at one person in the group
and ask them specifically what they think.
Sometimes when you ask a group question
no one really wants to take the lead in talking first
but if you call someone out, you make them the leader
and you make them the person to first start speaking
which then will help get the group more comfortable
in speaking as well.
What you'll then start to notice is that more people
will start speaking up and joining in on the conversation.
Maybe even your crush will say something
which then presents an opportunity
for you to do potentially one of two things.
If you share your opinion on something
and your crush agrees with you,
use that opportunity to walk over to them
give them a high five and say, I like you,
I'm on your side.
That agreeableness is the moment
for you to show your crush that you and them
have something in common together and you want them
to recognize it just as much as you do.
If your crush disagrees with you,
this also gives you the opportunity to do something.
You can always joke and say, pssh,
this is why you and me would never get along
and have that playfulness go on between the two of you.
I know it may sound like you're dismissing them
or you don't like them but it's actually opposite.
You're showing them there is a little bit of tension
between the two of you and that's always
a fun place to be with your crush.
Your intention shouldn't be to be mean
or disrespectful to them.
You just wanna have a little bit of fun
and have the group see that you are all about
just talking to them, getting to know them
and having a good time.
And as you talk more and more to the group,
their mindset is gonna start to shift
from seeing you as an outsider that came in
to being one of them.
Keep in mind, this may take a few questions
or a few back and forth conversations
between you and different people in the group
but the whole idea is to make everyone feel comfortable
with you being there.
So how do you know then if things are back to normal
between everyone in the group
and there isn't that awkwardness anymore?
It's simple, if people start going back
into conversations with themselves
and stop the focus on you being there,
you've won over the group.
And after spending some time either agreeing with your crush
or disagreeing with your crush
you can always turn to the rest of the people in the group
and say hey guys, do you mind if I talk to them
for a minute over here and that's exactly what you want.
You want everyone's attention not to be on you
but to be on whatever it is they wanna focus it on
so that you can focus your attention on your crush.
So now you have the group off your back,
you have your crush's attention
and you have a little bit of tension
between the two of you.
Now is the perfect opportunity to ask them for their number,
to make plans with them and to just talk to them.
There may be other obstacles that you encounter,
like people jumping into your conversation
or someone else liking your crush,
not wanting you to spend one on one time with them
but don't let that deter you.
What do you think though?
Have you ever tried talking to your crush
in front of their friends?
If you didn't, what held you back from doing it?
Leave your comment below and we'll talk about it.
The strategy I'm sharing here
is something I did when I was in high school
and I liked a girl but she was always surrounded
by her friends.
So, if you wanna hear the full story of how I did it
and how it worked, check out the video over there.
Remember, everything is small steps.
You may not crush it the first or second time
that you approach the group and talk to them
but keep trying.
Your goal is to talk to your crush
and the best way to do that is to make them see
that you're just a normal person.
As always guys, love and peace.