Oh hey, good morning, how'd you sleep? I...uh...eh..
Me, not so much. I had a weird crazy dream that Glitterforever17 cut off her ear? For a collab?
I don't want to get into it...
Anyways, uh, its morning time here at the Threadbanger household as you can see I am, uh I'm in my robe.
The official Czar robe, Corinne got this for me as a housewarming present.
Before we get started, let's see what's going on out here. Bright, godamn it
This is where I like to get my first glimpse of the morning. Oh, hey kitty. How's it going? Good morning
How are ya? Ya doing all right out here? Chasing squirrels, birds. What are you doing? Yeah, listen to some of those morning sounds, huh?
Oh, yeah, that's nice.
Listen-listen to this morning voice, huh? Oh, and then these motherfuckers they got chickens over there in their yard
Yeah, I guess that's what you get for living on the mountains of North Carolina. Your neighbors,
they just get to raise poultry. Fuckin chickens. Kitty, how'd you sleep? Yeah, you're still tired, too, I see.
You've probably wondered why I invited you over this morning and it's simple, breakfast is the most important part of the goddamn day!
and I saw this on the internet the other day
Everyone's going crazy over these fuckin cloud eggs. So I decided, hey, I got some eggs in here somewhere
Let's make some cloud eggs this morning. Me. And you. Huh? Oh, and *gibberish and assorted noises*
Even better. You know, it's my job to figure out how to make things a little bit cooler
So this morning we're gonna be making...
Unicorn cloud eggs, right everybody still over that unicorn bullshit
I don't know. We're gonna find out. But before any of that starts we gotta get some fuckin coffee. Jesus Christ! Let's get started shall we! *chuckling*
hehehe oh shit
Ohh yeah, that's the stuff. Mmm! Ah. Ooh!
While we're at it, why don't we get a little bit of news for today? Hey Alexa, play the news
Alexa: "Here's your flash briefing."
See what's going on today
Alexa: "A new medical study on the effects of marijuana use confirms that everyone knows you're high and that you'll most likely never stop feeling like this-"
What the fuck..?
Step one: get your eggs here. Oh
What the fuck. Where are the goddamn eggs!? Fuckin tortiLLas, cheese, lemons... Ohhh
You gotta be fucking kidding me. Aww, I'm not going to the store in my robe
I'm gonna have to... sneak on over to the neighbor's house and get some eggs from them, son of a bitch. Ugh so bright out here goddamit
I hear them every morning. I think they're over in this direction. Somewhere over here. Ugh
I gotta cut the goddamn grass out here. Jesus Christ. Ugh... all right. I'm coming chickens. Oh, good god.
I hear them there they're right through there
Jesus what the fuck is this place. Hold on I hear 'em I hear 'em. *whispering* I think they're right over here. Oh, there you are. I see you back there
Alright, here we go, here we go!
🎶Here chicky chicky chicky chicky chicky chicky chickys🎶
Guys got any eggs Shh be quiet be quiet be quiet okay
Hey, good morning! Bak bak bak! You're the guys making all this fucking noise in the morning? Jesus Christ. Alright, we have found the chickens Shhhh
Everybody just calm down be very quiet you especially Shh. Alright. Hey chickie chickie chickie. Oh, yeah look at all these... Huh? Just gonna...
Grab a couple of these over here don't mind me. Ooh that's warm. All right. Can I get this one? Yeah! Hi! Okay.
You're a nice chicken. Okay, a couple more here. Oh, yeah
All right, I hear ya, I know. I'll be out of here in a minute
All right, okay. Just relax, got it got it. This should be plenty. Cloud eggs coming up! You ever had a cloud egg before huh?
All right mission accomplished
Neighbor Man (and owner of these chickens): Hey! What the hell you kids doin in my lawn?
Rob: What? Oh shit
Neighbor: Get outta there! This is my property! I see you! Go on out! Get! You better run!
Rob: Which way is it?
Neighbor: You kids get outta my..
Rob: Shit! Oh god... *wow rob great way to greet your neighbors* Back to the house, back to the house.
Okay, wooh! Oh, alright. We got em. *laughing*
Well, that's one way to get your eggs in the morning *i swear to god rob*
Huh!? Look at that! We got some eggs!
Fresh from the rooster's ass!
All right! Let's make some fuckin cloud eggs!
Let's turn the stove on here 400 degrees, get that going. Boom.
Now this is the, uh, the fancy way that you crack eggs. The ladies they fucking go crazy over this
It's the one-handed egg crack. You do a little bit of this crack it around the side and then one hand the split, huh?
No, shell no nothing in there. Do another one of these here
Crack-itty-crack, don't talk back. Boom get an eggspert over here. Super easy way to remove the yolks out of the bowl
Check this out. You take an old water bottle you squeeze it and then watch this. What's this. Bloop? Huh?
How f-(bleep)-kin crazy is that? Oh, that's gross
Oh, yeah, make sure you get the rest of that dead fetus membrane out of here. You want to save these yolks?
So you just plop those boom back into another bowl?
Gross
Corinne: What are you doing in here? It's too early. I'm gonna...
Rob: Heeeyyy good morning! Look who it is!
Both: Ohhhh
Rob: Good morning my
Corinne: Noooo
Rob:My love, I'll make a breakfast for us. Corinne: What are you making? Rob: I'm making cloud eggs
Corinne: The fuck is a cloud egg? Rob: oh, you're gonna find out! Corinne: Do we have coffee? Rob: coffee right here. Boom.
Corinne: Um, i'm going to the gym.
Rob: Oh, she's going to the gym. I think you're gonna probably miss out on these cloud eggs
Corinne: Well, hopefully they're done by the time I get back. I know how long it takes you
Rob: No these it takes like 10 minutes to make these things
Corinne: I've heard that before.
Rob: Alright, so this is what we're looking at down here
we got two eggs in each one of these things and now we're just gonna take our neon food coloring over here
and we're gonna make these motherf-(bleep)-kers unicorn.
alright next step you're gonna need one of these things. uhh a blender doohickey. Here we go
So for what I've read you do this for about two or three minutes until some large peaks form
I think
Not what that means before any of you fuckin judge me in the comments that forgot to put in salt and pepper
Like an asshole you got a season your eggs people boom tasty eggs. Oh, yeah. Look at that
Those are some peaks and valleys I think. All right last but not least we got the purple one over here
Check this one out. Oh, yeah get in there. Get. In. There.
There this is looking fucking gross as sh-(bleep)t.
Alright now you give yourself a baking tray put some aluminum foil on top grab some cooking spray
Then you scoop out the eggs and you put them on there just like that
Apparently make like a little pocket in the middle for the yolk. Get some of this here
Look at that f-(bleep)-kin cloud in a bowl. I'm running out of room here. Hold on. I'm getting another tray ready over here
All right, I gotta hurry up here. Corinne's gonna be back from the gym any moment. Oh, yeah.
Boom now since we got some left in each bowl, I'm gonna make maybe just like a whole hodgepodge of them. How about that?
Yeah, now we're talking. Get a whole little shmorgasbord. Shmorgasbord even know what that word means?
Do I even know what that word means? All right DIY cloud eggs going in. Oh, yeah. You ready for this?
We got to put four minutes on the counter here at 400 degrees
All right, the countdown begins a few moments later
Okay, all right, they're ready let's see what these things look like oh
Shit oh
Damn, look at these. Oh, I like that one the best now you take the yoke, you put it right on top here. Boom
Fucking unicorn cloud eggs. All right throw these in for another four minutes
Rob: Oh, you look all sorts of worked out. Corinne: Yeah, I've been gone for an hour and a half.
Thought they'd be ready by now. Rob: Where are you going? Breakfast is almost ready. Taking the cat for a walk?
But that... it's gonna be time any minute.
Well, you know what then it's just you and me for breakfast, huh? Just hanging out like the old days. Oh shit
Here's the countdown. You ready? 5 4 3 2 1
That's the eggs are finished dance, okay, okay. All right. Got it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys. Okay Christ
You ready? Here it is. *angelic music*
Oh damn, dog, here we are. Oh, yeah. We did it. Look at that.
That's the unicorn egg right there. Imagine having that for breakfast. All right eggs up.
Oh shit yeah, that's the thumbnail right there. We did it. Holy shit unicorn cloud eggs, everybody.
Yeah, hot damn it breakfast the champions. Oh, you know what? I forgot all about the goddamn bacon
Wait, does any of my neighbors have any pigs? No? Corinne: You're not killing pigs today.
All right, microwave bacon. How about that?
Boom. Well, let's get this breakfast started who wants some eggs. Look at that
If this was any cloudier, this would just be floating in the air. All right, hold on. Hold on. Here we go
It's like a foamy egg it's not bad be honest. It's not bad at all. This is delicious actually Holy shit! Hmm
Get that yoke in there just stuck in your teeth a little bit. oh-oh bacon. Oh
This is some delicious shit right here, well, it's good with some orange juice
Corrine: Why are you drinking from the fuckin bottle? Rob: What? Corinne: That's not just your orange juice.
Rob: It is now
Corrine: Goddamnit
Wait, wait, fuck I didn't even give you any hold on. Hold on take a little nibble of that. Huh, fucking delicious.
You gotta taste these you got to take a bite. Just take a bite. Here we go folks
Corrine: It's weird.
Rob:Yes, like a foamy airy egg,
Corrine: You seasoned it well.
Rob: Oh shit. She's going back in for a second bite. That means she likes it
Corrine: Well it's pretty good, actually.
Rob: No, well, that's just because I'm an egg-cellent chef.
Haha that one came out of nowhere. Boom. That's it.
Fucking consensus is in: Corinne likes it.
This is gonna be a new fuckin Instagram trip
We've just started the next fucking huge food trend you see that popping up all over the internet mine right here thread banger
started the unicorn cloud egg
Sensation which will soon be sweeping the f(bleep)in nation. Oh, you know what?
Galaxy cloud eggs, huh?
Corrine: That would be something
Rob: I know
Corrine: You didnt give kitty any she wants some
Okay, well kitty here you ready cloud eggs check these out what do you think no eat the fucking eggs
Goddamnit, alright, I really appreciate you joining us for breakfast
If you try these, uh, let me know take picture of them snap them up
Throw em at um Instagram thread banger Studios is our handle over there
And if you see anyone else fuckin copying this recipe, you tell me cuz I'm putting a copyright on the shit right now
So you don't fuckin steal my egg recipes or what?
Corrine: Are you literally every project you have done has been you stealing somebody else's project. So
Do me a favor like up this video subscribe if you haven't done that already we're close to 4 million subscribers
Fuck, we've been close to 4 million subscribers for like a year hit that Bell
Notification thing and all that bullshit. I'll see you around here next time maybe for lunch maybe for a man vs. Dinner. Who knows?
We'll see you then