PRESIDENT BACOW, DEANS, MOST
LEARNED PROFESSORS, THRICE-HONORED GUESTS.
ESTEEMED ALUMNI AND ALUMNAE, FAMILIES WHO HAVE ENDURED SO
MUCH ON OUR BEHALF AND ESPECIALLY, YOU, MY MOST
BELOVED CLASSMATES: GREETINGS! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
I HAVE CLIMBED THESE STEPS TODAY, CLASSMATES.
TO TELL YOU HOW WONDERFUL JOHN MARTIN OF ANNENBERG IS.
WHEN WE FIRST ARRIVED IN THIS HARVARD YARD OF OURS
IT WAS WITH GREAT TREPIDATION THAT WE OPENED THOSE FORMIDABLE
DOORS OF ANNENBERG. HOW FORTUNATE WERE THOSE WHO
APPROACHED THE DOORS WITH COMPANIONS-- ROOMMATES
PERHAPS-- OR ELSE FRIENDS THEY HAD MET ON
THE FACEBOOK PAGE OF THE HARVARD COLLEGE CLASS OF 2022!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) HAD TO ENTER ANNENBERG ALL
ALONE. HOWEVER, PASSING OVER THE
THRESHOLD, WE ENCOUNTERED THAT MOST EXCELLENT CITIZEN OF THIS
UNIVERSITY GREATEST OF CARD-SWIPERS, BEST
FRIEND OF FIRST-YEARS, THE ONE-AND-ONLY JOHN!
HE, ENDOWED WITH A REMARKABLE FACULTY OF MEMORY, HAD LEARNED
BEFORE THE MIDDLE OF SEPTEMBER NOT ONLY OUR NAMES, BUT ALSO THE
NAMES OF OUR FAVORITE SPORTS TEAMS
OF OUR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS, AND EVEN OF OUR CATS AND DOGS.
EVERY DAY HE WELCOMED US INTO THE DINING HALL WITH AN
ENTHUSIASTIC GREETING AND CHEERFUL BANTER.
IN MY HEART THIS IS THE SOUND-- AND HOW SWEET IT
IS-- OF OUR FIRST YEAR AT HARVARD COLLEGE:
THUS, SWIPE. "ANA LUIZA!
HOW IS YOUR MOTHER DOING? IT GETS REALLY COLD IN MONTREAL
IN THE WINTER. BE SURE TO REMIND HER TO DRESS
WARMLY!"
SWIPE. "GREETINGS, KING PHILIP!"
"MINJUE, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR P-SET!"
SWIPE. "JAKE!
HOW... OH! EXCUSE ME A SEC!
HEY! YOU THERE! NO TOURISTS ALLOWED IN HERE!
NO, TOURISTS AREN'T ALLOWED TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS IN HERE EITHER.
DIDN'T YOU SEE THE SIGN? IT'S WRITTEN IN SIX LANGUAGES.
HMM, WHAT WAS I SAYING? AH," SWIPE.
"OCTAVIO! I HEARD THE CUBS WON YESTERDAY
AND I WAS SO HAPPY FOR YOU."
SWIPE. "BEN, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
YOU AREN'T CARRYING THE WHOLE LIBRARY IN YOUR BACKPACK ARE
YOU?" THEN THE DETESTABLE PANDEMIC
CAME UPON US. IT DROVE US OUT OF THIS
UNIVERSITY WE LOVE. IT STRUCK THE VERY WORLD WITH
ITS DREAD HAND. AFTER 17 MONTHS, WE RETURNED TO
THIS YARD. WE WAGED WAR ON COCKROACHES,
MICE, AND FUNGI. WE DISCOVERED THAT PALLID
PHANTOMS ONCE SEEN IN A MADE-UP WORLD
CALLED ZOOMLAND WERE IN FACT CLASSMATES AND FRIENDS WITH
ACTUAL, PHYSICAL BODIES. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
AT THE SAME TIME WE LOOKED AGAIN FOR THE HOME WE HAD LOST IN
MARCH, 2020. LAST FALL, I WENT INTO ANNENBERG
FOR A MEAL. JOHN WAS NOT THERE.
SADDENED, I WAS LEAVING BY THE BACK DOOR, WHEN
THERE HE WAS, ENJOYING A MID-MORNING BREAK WITH HIS
COWORKERS. "JOHN!" I CRIED.
"BEN!" HE RESPONDED WITHOUT THE LEAST HESITATION.
"JOHN," I SAID, SCARCELY BELIEVING MY EARS
"WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD STORAGE?" HE JUST LAUGHED
BUT AT HIS LAUGH I HAD FOUND MY HOME AGAIN.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)