Hey, this is Mat Boggs with Cracking the Man Code and today let’s talk about self-worth.
I was on a call recently with a coaching client of mine who was saying she was dreading going
to her son’s wedding because her ex-husband was going to be there.
And she said, “You know, when I’m around my ex-husband, I just feel like a bad mom.
I feel unworthy.
I feel like I’m devalued.
I just hate being around him because I feel this way.”
And so we talked about how do you rise above that?
How do you rise above when you’re around someone who’s negative, who’s trying to
devalue you, who’s trying to criticize you, who’s ultimately trying to put you down
so that they can feel better?
There’s a great quote from Eleonore Roosevelt that says, “All of the water in the world
can’t drown you if it doesn’t get in you.
Do how do you rise above the negativity and not let that influence how you feel about
yourself?
Well, the first is to recognize that your sense of value, your importance, who you are
is not determined by the opinion and the approval of others, but it’s determined by yourself.
It’s determined by the mere fact that you are a living, breathing, amazing, unique,
unrepeatable, never been before created human being on this planet and there is no one like
you and you are extraordinary and it’s you owning that.
And so many people put who they are, their self-esteem, on the altar of other people’s
opinion and approval, and it rises when other people celebrate them and it falls when other
people ignore them or criticize them or reject them, right?
And that’s a very stressful, hard way to live.
So the idea here is to own your own value.
For example – and I gave my client this analogy so I’m going got give it to you.
And I said, “Here’s a $50 bill, right?”
If you and I were standing together, I would say, “If I were to give you this, would
you accept this $50 bill?
Nothing in exchange.
Do you see the value in this $50 bill?”
And most likely you would say, “Yeah, I see the value in the $50.
I’d love to have it.
You know, I can spend things – I can go get things with that $50 bill.”
And then what if I said, “Well, you know what?
This $50 bill isn’t as green as it used to be.
You know, you’re not as green as you used to be.
You’re kind of fading out on me.
You still want it?
It’s not as green as it used to be.”
It’s like, “Yeah, I still want the $50 bill.
Sure.”
And it’s like, “Well, you know what?
You know what?
Screw that.
This is worthless!
This $50 bill is worthless!
It’s all wrinkly, right?
And you open it back up, it’s all wrinkly.
It’s kind of tattered a little bit.
Do you still want this $50 bill?”
Right?
You would say, “Yeah, I want this $50 bill.”
“I’m done with you $50 bill.
Mr. Grant.
I’m breaking up with you.
I don’t even want to see you anymore.”
Would you still want this $50 bill?
Of course you would.
And what about if someone just stomped on it and said, “You know what?
I am done with you.”
Would you still want this $50 bill?
Yes, you would.
Why?
Because whether I swear at it, whether I criticize it, whether I reject it, whether I break up
with it, whether I crumple it, none of that changes the value of this $50 bill.
So I don’t care if people in your past have tried to crumple you up, have tried to criticize
you, stomp on you, break up with you, try to devalue you.
None of that determines your worth.
None of that determines your value.
So when you feel the temptation to put your value on the altar of someone else’s opinion
or approval, claim it back because you are valuable.
You are important.
You are an unrepeated, unique, amazing expression of life happening right now.
You are valuable.
This is the day to own it, pour some love on yourself and own that worth that you are.
I appreciate you watching this video.
As always, there’s resources below this video.
I posed a link there for special resources that will help you expand the love in your
life.
If you’re not subscribed to this channel, make sure you get subscribed so you get the
latest and greatest videos, and post a comment below this video and tell me this: what’s
one thing that you value about yourself?
What’s one thing that you value, that you honor about yourself?
Thanks so much for watching.
I’ll see you soon.