One Pac, Tupac, buckle your shoe Pac.
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning!
Guess what, everybody? We got Post Malone here!
- Welcome, Post! - What's going on?
- Whoo! - ( applause )
What's going on, guys? You all right?
Welcome to the show, man.
Hey, thanks for having me, man.
I'm a big fan.
- Likewise. - Yeah, yeah.
- Really? - Yeah.
I've been watching for... four years.
- Oh, wow. - That's crazy!
That's a pretty... I mean... give or take.
- Okay, but who's counting? - Give or take four years or so.
Yeah, give or take.
All right, here's what's happening on this episode,
later we're gonna create some Post Malone memes
with the man himself.
Plus, we'll be stuffing a Slim Jim inside of a churro.
But first, who the heck is Georgie Porgie
and why is he eating both pudding and pie?
And how does one acquire a tisket or a tasket?
What I'm saying is nursery rhymes are old, outdated,
and they make no freakin' sense!
Mm-hmm. So today, the three of us are gonna update
some stuffy old nursery rhymes by turning them into rap tracks.
It's time for...
-
we got a board over here that Chase is manning.
We have several different nursery rhymes
and then several different rap styles.
Mm-hmm.
I see Migos, I see Snoop Dogg,
I see-- who's Post Malone?
Post Malone: You got him.
Rhett: I see Kanye West,
I see the Sugar Hill Gang,
and I see a-Beastie Boys.
So we pick a nursery rhyme, we pick a rap style
and then we make it happen.
Mm-hmm. And then we're gonna head over to the crib
and perform our rhymes.
- Got him. Let's rock. - Individually.
All right, Rhett, you're taller so you are going first.
Oh, thanks.
That's always helpful.
Pick your... pick your nursery rhyme, man.
Rhett: I've always been a fan of "I'm a Little Teapot"
because it's ironic when a big man sings "I'm a Little Teapot."
- That's nice. - Okay.
Link: And then what style are you gonna perform this in?
Rhett: I think I gotta go with the D-oh-double-G, man.
Snoop Dogg, I think I can do that.
- He's a tall guy. - I think I can handle that.
Post: Look at the swagger.
Link: Yeah.
Post: Immaculate.
Hit it.
( music playing )
I'm just a tea pot, tizzle full of t-zizzle, y'all.
♪ I'm a little tea pot, short and stout ♪
♪ Here is my handle, here is my spout ♪
♪ When I get all steamed up, hear me shout ♪
♪ Just tip me over and pour me out ♪
♪ La da da da da ♪
♪ I'm a mother freakin' tea pot full of tea ♪
♪ La da da da da ♪
♪ Gonna pour some tea out of me ♪
- Post: Wow, incredible. - ( Link laughs )
Incredible.
Oh.
- That's... that's pretty good, man. - Very good.
- Dang. - I'm going on tour later this year...
- Can I come? - ...you wanna open?
Yeah!
Link: Okay, I'm gonna choose "Hickory Dickory Dock."
- Rhett: Mm-hmm. - 'Cause why not?
- Nice. - Right, does it really matter?
And I'm gonna perform it
in the style of...
Yeezy.
Ooh.
Just count the hours!
All right, I'm ready!
( music playing )
♪ Uh, uh ♪
♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪
♪ The mouse ran up the clock ♪
♪ The clock struck one ♪
♪ And down he come ♪
♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪
♪ The mouse ran up the clock ♪
♪ The clock struck two ♪
♪ And look what he do ♪
♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪
I'ma let you finish,
but Beyoncé had one of the greatest clocks of all time!
( applause )
- Wow. - You just about got your baby.
- Wow, that was... - Hit the baby. Thunk!
very intense.
I think Kanye would be proud.
- I think it was nice. - Yeah, yeah.
You know, sometimes he goes after it.
- Well, all the time. - So I had to bring it.
Who's your producer?
Mark.
He's talented.
He's sitting right over there.
Talented guy.
Tracks are pretty great.
- Yes. - Yeah, the tracks are great.
- All right, you're up. - Your turn.
- Post: Um... - Link: What song you gonna pick?
( Post sighs )
Post: "Itsy Bitsy Spider" has always been
a song that's been very close to my heart.
- Yeah. - ( laughter )
- You like spiders? - Yeah, I hate spiders.
- Small ones? - But the reason why--
Yeah, exactly, that's why I picked it,
because they're small spiders.
- Right. - Got it, right, uh-huh.
Post: I'll do it in the style of the classic Sugar Hill Gang.
- Okay. - We'll go old school on 'em.
- Taking it way back. - Yeah, let's rock.
- All right. - I'm ready to rock.
Do it.
- Okay, yeah, get... - Get hydrated.
- ...get hydrated. - It's important.
Gotta hydrate.
Hello, baby.
( music playing )
Ooh.
♪ I said a-hip-hop ♪
♪ The itsy, the bitsy spider ♪
♪ Went down the water spit-spout ♪
♪ A down-a came all the rain ♪
♪ And a-washing the spider ♪
♪ The washing, wishing, washing away, ooh ♪
♪ The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout ♪
♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out ♪
♪ Up came the sun and dried up all the rain ♪
♪ And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again ♪
♪ Hey, ho ♪
- ♪ Hey! Ho! ♪ - ♪ Hey, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, hey ♪
♪ Ho, ooh ♪
That's it.
- ( Rhett laughs ) - ( applause, cheering )
Ah!
Wow.
Everything old is new again.
Wow, bringing back that old-school flow.
It's a tough flow to master.
Yes.
That was great!
- Oh, nice, nice. - Okay.
Now you have to go again!
Yes, I do.
Oh, man, what am I gonna do to follow that up?
Ugh.
Rhett: Let's go...
"Mary Had a Little Lamb."
- Did she? - Yeah, she did.
Always been fond of that.
And... I don't know how I feel about this.
I'm going out on a limb, something that struck me.
- I'm gonna do it in Post Malone style. - Post: That's nice.
- Hey, that's pretty... - You gonna be offended?
- No, no. - Are you sure
you don't wanna let him do his own style...
- Is that an option? - ...later?
I don't wanna let you do it.
So, okay.
- All right, go for it. - It's the easiest style.
It's not like he's not right here.
No pressure.
Oh, gosh.
All right, hit it.
( music playing )
Okay.
♪ Mary had a little lamb ♪
♪ Its fleece was white as snow ♪
♪ And everywhere that Mary went ♪
♪ The lamb was sure to go ♪
♪ Followed her to school one day ♪
♪ Which was against the rules ♪
♪ Made the children laugh and play ♪
♪ To see a lamb in school ♪
♪ So the teacher turned it out ♪
♪ But it still lingered near ♪
♪ Waited patiently about ♪
♪ Till Mary did appear ♪
♪ Why does the lamb love Mary so? ♪
♪ The eager children cried ♪
♪ Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know ♪
♪ The teacher did reply ♪
Yo, that lamb was saucin'.
( Post laughing )
( applause )
That's great, man.
- Hey... - That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
Not that these are being judged, but...
I'm upset that I didn't write it.
- Whoo! - Oh, my gosh.
Hey, kudos to you, man.
- Yeah, it was very good. - Yeah, man.
- He was right there! - Yeah, that was--
- I'm sweating. - Okay.
My pits are sweating.
Whatever I don't pick,
- you have to do. - Okay.
So, uh...
is there, I mean, you wanna whisper something in my ear?
Or what you...?
- ( laughter ) - Okay.
Okay.
( whispers ) You like farm animals?
I get it.
Okay, I'ma choose "Hush, Little Baby."
Um... Beastie Boys!
- Ooh. - Hey, that's nice.
Ironic 'cause the Beastie Boys are kinda loud.
( laughter )
( yelling indistinctly )
Post: It sounds authentic.
( music playing )
♪ Hush, little baby ♪
♪ Don't say a word ♪
♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪
♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪
♪ Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪
♪ Is that what you want? ♪
♪ What you, what you, what you want? ♪
♪ Is that what you want? ♪
♪ What you, what you, what you want? ♪
♪ If that diamond ring turns brass ♪
♪ Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass ♪
♪ And if that looking glass gets broke ♪
♪ Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat ♪
♪ If that cart and bull turn over ♪
♪ Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover ♪
- Post: Wow. Wow. - Rhett: Wow.
Wow.
Are you okay?
( gruff ) I think my voice has changed now.
- I love how you took on... - That was pretty incredible.
two personas.
- All right. - Yes.
Link: I left the farm for you.
Post: Yeah, I guess my options are...
- Link: Limited. - Post: ..."Old MacDonald Had a Farm"
and in the style of Migos.
Rhett and Link: Yeah.
I think this is a hit already.
Yeah, it's destiny.
Which we met Quavo.
- Did you? - And we got a picture with him,
and he never spoke,
he just raised his arm,
pointed it towards the camera, we took a picture
and then that was it.
He's a good guy.
He's not a man of many words...
- No, he wasn't. - but I love Quavo.
- All right. - I guess I'm ready to rock it.
- Yes. - Quavo, I hope I do you justice.
Offset, Takeoff, hope I do you justice.
Hello, my little baby boy.
I'm sorry Link woke you up,
I'ma put you right back to bed, don't you worry.
( music playing )
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ya ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ Ooh, and on this farm, he had a cow ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a moo moo here, and a moo moo there ♪
♪ Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo moo ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O, ooh ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And on this farm, he had a pig ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a oink oink here and a oink oink there ♪
♪ There a oink-- there-- and everywhere a oy-oink ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Shout out to murder on the beat.
You can cut it now.
You already know.
Got him.
( Rhett laughs )
( applause )
Oink oink!
Post: It's tough.
Also a tough flow to master.
- Yes. - That was pretty great.
Well, you did just that.
- Hey, thank you so much. - Oh, man.
There are no winners and losers here
because we're all winners.
- We're all a team. - Yeah.
We are kind of like the Migos.
- We created some hits. - Yeah.
I often think of us that way.
- Slappers. - The us version of the Migos.
That's nice, I like that.
Ever since... five minutes ago.
- That's right. - Exactly.
All right, click on through as we find a way
to stuff a Slim Jim inside a churro
because why not?
Money can't buy happiness,
unless smelling good makes you happy.
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like my beard oil, at mythical.store.