- OUR FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE HILARIOUS STARS
OF "MODERN FAMILY,"
BUT AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE TO HIM IN THE PAST,
I'M SURPRISED HE'S EVEN BACK.
TAKE A LOOK.
START TALKING AS SOFIA. YOU JUST...
[as Sofia Vergara] "WATCH 'MODERN FAMILY...'"
[normal voice] OR WHATEVER YOU WANT, OKAY?
READY? - OKAY, GO.
- [as Vergara] YES, WATCH "MODERN FAMILY"--
- [growls] - OH, MY GOD!
- [singing] BABY, EVEN THOUGH I HATE YOU
- [chuckles nervously]
- [growls] - [screams]
- BECAUSE MY DOG IS SCARED OF GOING UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. I THOUGHT HE WAS SCARED.
- SO YOU HAVE TO CARRY--
- [yells] - OH, YOU MOTHER--
[cheers and applause]
I'M DONE!
- FROM "MODERN FAMILY," PLEASE WELCOME ERIC STONESTREET.
[cheers and applause]
- [singing] I SHOULD BE WISER
AND REALIZE THAT I GOT
- [singing] ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU
I GOT ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU
- I GOT ONE LESS, ONE LESS PROBLEM
- ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU
I GOT ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU
- I GOT ONE LESS, ONE LESS PROBLEM
- HI. HI, I'M ELLEN.
HI. HI.
HI.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- THESE ARE MY TWO BEST FRIENDS,
PAUL AND STACEY, HERE TO HAVE MY BACK TODAY, ELLEN.
[laughter]
- HI, PAUL AND STACEY.
- YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.
YOU PROVED, THE LAST COUPLE TIMES,
YOU AND YOUR PRODUCTION STAFF DON'T GIVE TWO CENTS ABOUT ME.
OR MY UNDERWEAR, BECAUSE I ABOUT CRAPPED THEM
THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE.
SO I'M RELYING ON FRIENDSHIP TODAY.
SO PAUL AND STACEY ARE HERE.
THEY TOOK OFF A DAY'S WORK.
THEY'RE GONNA GO BACKSTAGE,
CREATE A PERIMETER.
IF YOU SEE ANYTHING--
A GUY IN A DOG COSTUME, A CLOWN COSTUME,
A TRANSPARENT 1930s GIRL WITH A RAG DOLL
FLOATING IN THE AIR--
DON'T HESITATE TO INTERRUPT THE INTERVIEW, OKAY?
- WELL, LOOK, THEY CAN-- THEY CAN'T--
THEY CAN STAY BACK THERE, 'CAUSE NOBODY'S COMING OUT.
I PROMISE. NO ONE'S COMING OUT.
SO YOU CAN--
- GO BACKSTAGE. CREATE A PERIMETER.
WE NEED A CODE WORD. WE NEED A CODE WORD.
IF YOU SEE ANYTHING, SAY,
"ERIC, SOMEBODY'S ABOUT TO SCARE YOU."
- THAT'S A GOOD CODE. THAT'S A REALLY GOOD CODE.
- THANK YOU, ELLEN. - YEAH.
- THOSE Q AND As ARE FUN, ELLEN, BUT WHAT--
SOMETIMES EMBARRASSING THINGS HAPPEN IN THOSE THINGS.
I WAS IN UTAH DOING ONE AT A COLLEGE,
AND THESE TWO GIRLS GOT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF MY Q AND A
AND LEFT.
AND I HAVE A MIC--
[screaming] OH, YOU--
[cheers and applause]
- [laughing]
- I'M NEVER COMING BACK.
I MEAN, YOU'VE JUST LOST ONE OF YOUR--
NO, ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE GUESTS, YOU JUST LOST HIM.
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
LOOK AT YOUR FRIENDS BACKSTAGE.
YOUR FRIENDS ARE TAKING PICTURES.
- GOOD JOB. WAY TO GO, GUYS.
- OKAY, WAIT.
SO, WAIT, I WANT TO HEAR THE STORY,
'CAUSE I WANT TO HEAR THE EMBARRASSING,
BUT WE'RE GONNA TAKE A BREAK, AND YOU'LL--
- I'M ALMOST CRYING!
[laughter]