(suspenseful music)
- I don't know, I don't know why
I thought that would be a good way to start the video.
Hi, fancy seeing you here, I don't know.
Um, hey guys.
Is this in the screen now?
Oh, wait, go back to where you came.
Oh Jesus, ah, am I clear of the jungle?
Yes, today, I thought we could have a browse,
a play, an experiment with Fiverr,
and see what some strangers will do for me for five pounds.
I don't know why I'm rubbing my fingers together.
I did this about two years ago with Dan,
where I learned that my past life animal was a wood pecker.
So, brace yourselves for some insane revelations.
Let's just dive straight in there, shall we?
What's on for today?
(laughing)
I will sing a shower Happy Birthday.
I don't want to get demonetized,
so I'll leave you to that buddy.
A gay birthday video.
What is gay about it?
Ooh, I will doodle on coffee froth for you,
confess your love, propose to your soulmate,
or surprise your friend.
Imagine if someone proposed to you with coffee froth.
Would that be romantic?
I don't know, I want this,
yes, I'm sold, what should I get?
Should I do the surprised Pikachu meme?
Okay, done.
Oh, I will cast a potent money psychic spell
to attract money.
Imagine if you clicked that and just gold bars
just came flying at your face.
I will read your palm in detail.
See, I'm a little bit scared by that.
I will cast love spell to make them love you.
Oh my God, calm down.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm a bit scared by all of this.
I will do face reading analysis, I like the sound of this.
I'll be able to tell your personality,
character and other aspects of you.
Do I wanna send this person my face?
I'm thinking yeah.
Where's my phone?
Brian, quiff check!
It didn't say what kind of face to pull,
so I'm gonna go with neutral,
which I find very hard to do, okay, here we go.
I can't send that, I can't send that, that's horrible!
Is that what I look like?
Oh, that's better, thanks Instagram, face reset.
There, okay, I think that's alright.
Ah, why am I sending that to my story?
That would be embarrassing.
Let's send that off for analysis.
Sorry, that's one day delivery,
so he's gonna do some speedy face looking.
What else we got?
I will be your male model for your product and brand.
Ooh, check out those guns.
Should we make him wear a try new things T-shirt?
No, I can't, I can't do that.
I will make a happy birthday dog or cat singing video.
Yes, please.
I mean, it was my birthday, I just, I deserve this.
Write the name of the birthday person, first names only.
Philly.
Start, ooh, 23 hours to go, I'm so excited about this one.
Back in astrology.
I will tell you about your personality through handwriting.
I like that, that sounds fun.
I've got very child-like handwriting,
so hopefully he doesn't think
that an actual seven year old wrote this.
Hi, my name is Phil and this is my handwriting,
hopefully it makes me seem like a cool dude, thanks.
He's gonna be like, well, from what you've written, nope.
I think that's enough, we're done.
I have an agonizing wait ahead.
See you on the other side, whoop.
Bah bah bah bah, I'm back, surprise!
Everyone replied, I'm quite surprised,
I thought I'd have, like, one reply
and then this would be a flop, but no,
they diligently worked for their Fiverr.
Okay, so we asked someone
to put the surprised Pikachu meme on some coffee,
and they did it!
Oh, it's just a digital thing though.
I thought they were actually gonna do it with coffee foam.
It does look funny, with Pikachu trapped in there though.
I am appreciating this.
He's like, how did my life lead up to this moment?
I'm glad I own this, I just wish it would've been real.
Maybe I could try to make my own latte art one day.
Face analysis.
So, I submitted this photo,
which is still kinda terrifying, looking back on it,
and here's what the psychic, is it a psychic?
I think it's a psychic.
Here's what the psychic had to say about my face.
Oh, okay, we're starting off with a negative.
I see some sadness in your eyes,
do I have sadness in my eyes?
Maybe it was because I was having some trouble
taking the photo, I hope this is just temporary
and you'll find your happiness in the future.
You're a bit sensitive,
but you're capable of overcoming difficulties.
Wow, I didn't know I had sad eyes.
(sad piano music)
Luck comes after 35 with this particular eye.
So at the moment it's a very unlucky eye,
but when I'm 35 it's gonna bring in the luck.
Hair line, you enjoy starting new tasks,
you can tell that from my hairline?
Sure, uh, you may become procrastinated
or bored at the halfway mark though.
I don't know if that's true,
because once I get my mind stuck into something,
like with the tour or the book,
I'm like, no, 100% all the way until it's finished.
So I don't really get bored halfway through tasks.
Ears, I can wiggle my ears,
does that give me extra psychic points?
You can take in information like a sponge, uh,
boredom may come in once I get the gist of something.
I guess if someone's telling a really long story,
sometimes my mind can drift off somewhere else,
and I'm like, yep, yep, I'm still with you there.
Nose, you have big spending energy (laughs).
So like, BSE, it is wise to save for a rainy day.
What am I gonna spend it on on a rainy day?
An extra large umbrella.
Phil can be quite generous towards those he loves.
Oh, thank you, I'm glad you can tell that from my nose,
I've got a generous nose.
If it was like this, would I be like, nothing for anyone?
Uh, mouth, you prefer one on one communications
over public speaking.
You know what, I'll give you that.
I think this is one on one,
actually, being on tour I was fine,
because I knew the audience in a way.
I felt like I was speaking to my friends,
but if it was like speaking to an audience
of people that don't know me,
that's when I freak out slightly.
Cheeks and chin, your leadership quality
should take you where you wanna go.
Yeah, just shove my cheek in the mix and I'm ready.
Maybe they're talking about my face cheeks.
Mm, not sure I'm on board with this one lads.
I'm not, can you really tell anything
about someone from just what their face looks like?
Maybe the eyes, I get like, some people have sad eyes,
but generally this is just, like, a skin machine,
and your soul on the inside, or whatever a soul is,
get a bit deep there, you know what I mean.
The thing controlling the skin machine is what is important,
I don't think your face can tell anything,
that's why some people are secret cannibals,
because they just look like everybody else.
So I'm gonna give this one a meh,
but it was kind of interesting.
Next up, doggy video.
I'm quaking with excitement about this one.
Um, all right, here we go.
♪ Happy birthday ♪
(record scratching)
- Why did I think this would be a real,
why did I think this would be a real dog?
What, did I think a real dog was gonna speak human words?
I don't know, I don't know what was going through my head,
it's obviously someone using a face thing.
Okay, I'm over it, I'm over it, let's watch the video.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Aw, I mean, it it cute.
♪ Happy birthday to Philly ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- I can't say no to a dog,
even if it's a human with a dog skin on their face,
you're still getting a thumbs up.
Thank you for the birthday message.
- Have a great day.
- Next one is the handwriting analysis,
so I submitted this and here's what the dude had to say.
- I'm a cool guy!
That's all, that's all I need to hear.
Can we just hear that again?
Oh my God, I love him already.
- Aw, I'm a cool guy.
I don't know why that warmed my heart so much,
I might have some issues I need to talk about.
- I make the party alive!
I don't think I've ever (laughing)
I'm just trying to think of a moment
where I've made a party alive,
maybe I just haven't tried hard enough.
- You have to be with me.
- Are you saying that I operate with pleasure first?
Which is kind of true, because like with the coffee thing,
I was like, yes, I like this, grab it now,
just went straight for the thing I wanted
without thinking that I might've liked
something more in the future,
so that's true Mr. Writing man.
- You're not worried about the consequences of anything.
No, I do overthink things quite a lot, actually,
so I don't know how true that is.
- Oh.
- This isn't the best.
- I'm feeling like this is some kind of pep talk,
like, come on Phil, you can do better,
this is not the best you could be!
What am I gonna be?
- Yeah.
- Ooh, magic will happen.
- Stand in from of a mirror and look into my eyes.
(laughing)
- Shall I do that?
You should do this too.
Go get a mirror and we'll do this together.
Phil is the best!
I am the best!
I liked him, there's about 11 minutes more of that,
so that was a little highlight, but that was cool.
- He's so sweet, I wanna cry, I'm actually gonna cry.
So thanks for joining me for this adventure.
If you've enjoyed it, give me a thumbs up,
and also thank you to everyone
that has become members of the channel,
I love all of the little cacti
next to your names in the comments,
it's like a little succulent garden down there.
So if you wanna join team cactus you can press Join,
or click the link below to become a member,
and I hope you're having a good day,
and I will see guys very soon, goodbye.
(lively jazzy music)