OPRAH: So I love this other --
-- this Myth Number 6 you have here is, parenting is
about raising a happy child.
I mean, I think that's what everybody thinks
and so why is this a myth?
DR. SHEFALI: Because our children don't need to become happy.
Life is not about happy, happy anyway.
Life is to be experienced in every nuance
as it presents itself in the as is.
OPRAH: Yes.
DR. SHEFALI: Engagement with life, to me, is happiness.
Is pure joy.
OPRAH: Yeah.
DR. SHEFALI: Engage with it fully.
OPRAH: Yeah. I think that's so powerful for everyone,
children or not, listening.
I think the pursuit of happiness, particularly in our culture,
makes people think it is my right.
And that is the number one goal is to be happy.
DR. SHEFALI: So any painful moment, then,
is to be ridden of immediately.
OPRAH: Yes.
DR. SHEFALI: So as a parent of a child,
it is our sacred obligation to not teach our children
to run away from life as is.
If they're crying about rejection from a friend,
instead of teaching them to change themselves to fit in,
enter the present moment and teach your child,
rejection is inevitable.
But it has nothing to do with your sense of worth.
OPRAH: Wow.
DR. SHEFALI: Not everyone needs to love you.
Because you need to love who you are.
You just need to find your tribe.
Teaching children this is pivotal.